To be really dreading half term

[icecreaminspain]

I know I’m going to get a load of YABU, I cherished every moment with mine type replies but I am.

I just really don’t enjoy parenting my two together and so holidays obviously force this situation, Christmas nearly killed me. I don’t need anyone telling me I’m horrible - jus interested if I’m alone in this!

I know exactly what I’m trying to say, thanks. You just accused me of saying you shouldn’t say you feel this way about parenting in the holidays. At no point did I say any such thing. I do think it’s odd you’re making such heavy weather of this, though.

It is not for you it is for the exhausted teaching staff who look after your kids and for the tired kids.

Ludmilla you are talking absolute rubbish and have absolutely no experience or advice to offer. I feel you are goading the OP for your own pleasure. Shame on you.

You're entitled to your opinion. I feel the points I've made to OP have been constructive but she's pretty much made it clear she just wants people to agree with her. There's a difference between providing one's perspective on a situation and goading. And by the way, one doesn't have to be a parent oneself to have a sense of how people generally approach parenting and be able to form valid opinions on it.

Same and I only have one his school holiday club just got cancelled aswell! Can you send them to something similar local to you? Asking as it’s orated registered you should be able to claim back/ refund some of the cost later on.

It’s completely understandable to feel this way. Parenting two little ones at once—especially around holidays—can be exhausting and overwhelming, and it’s normal that you don’t enjoy every moment. Feeling frustrated or even that it’s ‘shit’ doesn’t make you a bad parent—it just means you’re human and dealing with a lot. Sometimes, just accepting that it’s hard can be surprisingly relieving, and can help you cope without feeling guilty. You’re definitely not alone in this.

This half term is the awful one. I’ve not even booked it off work - I’ve put the kids into clubs. They will have much more fun.

@icecreaminspain It seems to me like your husband is working long hours which I do appreciate means you are understandably left picking up the majority of the childcare. How many hours a week do you work? Could you push your hours up and your husband reduce his so that you are sharing the load of things (work and childcare) more equally?

Thanks. To be fair the end is in sight … they are getting easier, just when I’m exhausted I feel all dramatic about it! I teach myself so the holidays should ideally be a break for me but they just aren’t.

@Lludmilla tbh there’s nothing much to disagree with! I feel how I feel … others don’t, great. And sorry, but you did tell me at length how wrong it was to feel this way when others can’t have children. FYI, women who struggle with very young children and women who struggled with fertility are not mutually exclusive.

@Lludmilla

Stop explaining yourself, there is no need.
It's an opinion forum, I understand that child free people are actually "allowed" to have one.
Agree with your points.
(I knew I didn't have any interest in cancelling my life for the sake of procreation since the age of 13, and am eternally grateful that I didn't fall into this trap).

Best cure for half term blues?
Get a job in a school, then you’ll appreciate that time off!
Not sure YABU but it’s an odd thing to say that you don’t enjoy parenting your kids together, that’s family life, did you envisage parenting your kids individually in a shift pattern?

It was dry at pick up today so I thought I’d risk a visit to the playground. We were there 10 minutes and it poured with rain. We got absolutely soaked 😭 no umbrella obviously, as it was dry when I left home.

Walked back and made the kids a hot chocolate and put a movie on…. It kept them occupied for the time it took them to drain the drink and then they were bored.

So I’ve gone and fucked half term now.
Playground in the rain ✅
Hot chocolate ✅
Movie ✅

All my ideas gone in one afternoon 😆 send thoughts and prayers.

@icecreaminspain Ex (primary) teacher here so understand how it can feel. You exhaust yourself looking after other people's children to the point of being on your knees, then when it your "holiday" it actually isn't, because of course you have your own! And then of course you get the compulsory half-term cold because your immunity is done in!!
I did it for 21 years and now EOTAS tutor by day - no regrets. I really enjoy my family time now and actually have a life outside of work.
I have 3 kids - one at uni, one almost 16, one 5. My husband has taken annual leave for the Thursday and Friday to give me some time child-free - could your husband do something like this over the school holidays? I probably won't do anything too exciting; probably catch up with a friend for coffee, go for a bit of mooch around the shops, but I come back feeling so much better for it x

It definitely isn’t about non parents not being allowed to have an opinion, it’s more about it not being a thread that’s about opinions. It’s jus a thread where I’m sharing some feelings; those feelings may or may not be reasonable but either way, I still have them ☺️

@Kelly1969 - I am a teacher! I DON’T appreciate the time off because I invariably return to school more wrung out and exhausted than in my ‘normal’ week!

I do need to speak to DH about sharing the holidays a bit so I get a break, because as it is I think because I am ‘there’ he sort of sees it as no need to take annual leave unless we’re actually on holiday. I do have one day with just my ds which I am looking forward to

I had IVF to have my two. I actually hate the way my preschooler is at the moment. He is likely autistic but I can't wait for school!

Why do child free people need to comment about their decisions to avoid having children. Do you fancy me going on to the child free board and talking about my kids?

It’s really hard. I was in my forties when I had mine and so I’d had many years of longing.

No one is saying we don’t love them, and the thing is, even when it’s harder for me I do right by them: I could put my older child into sports clubs for the week but it wouldn’t be fair on him and he’s more important.

But under the cloak of anonymity I can admit that it’s hard, tiring, makes me frazzled and tired and irritable. Surely?

The reason parents who experienced infertility then experience PND is because they are expected to enjoy every single moment of having children. No we don't have to. I bet even your infertile friends if they had been successful would find parenting hard.

As someone full on a very hard primary classroom o can tell you that I am on my knees. This last week I have gone to bed as soon as i have got home. I need a rest.

So do I …

That’s the problem, isn’t it? My holidays aren’t a rest, not even close!

I used to live for half term!
Id much rather have my 3 girls home than at school, it was so much easier!
Now im the same with my grandchildren,
whoooo hoooo half term next week, I can’t wait!!

Haha, I must have missed that bit or you didn’t mention that?!
Fair play to you, I’m just a TA, so I get much less pay but also much less responsibility and work, I wouldn’t want your job!
How old are your kids, have they also been tricky when together or is it a recent thing, kids go thru phases of hating each other or just being a nightmare when together

I have 4 and I can’t wait, no wet school runs, no having to wash and dry uniform (dryer has blobbed)no yelling to get a move on in the mornings. Going to have a cosy week with movies and video games not going to bother with screen time restrictions and have snacks. Play with pets, read books and quiet crafts.

Isn’t that everyone though? Basically 100% of the parents I know use their annual leave to cover school holidays and also mind their children during that time. It’s hardly unique to teachers.

That’s why I didn’t really mention what I did as I didn’t think it was relevant.

Probably the best option is to be a non teaching parent but married to a teacher! 😅