To be really dreading half term

[icecreaminspain]

I know I’m going to get a load of YABU, I cherished every moment with mine type replies but I am.

I just really don’t enjoy parenting my two together and so holidays obviously force this situation, Christmas nearly killed me. I don’t need anyone telling me I’m horrible - jus interested if I’m alone in this!

Feb half term is a good reset. I was luck enough to have every single Feb half term off with my dc's until the youngest left secondary school. One of mine does have SEN which meant that holiday clubs were out. We used to do cheap local activities. Mooch around, tidy up etc.

I treated it as a chance to clear away the winter germs and get ready for spring. I hate winter and liked being able to have time off work and slow down. I'd have more winter school hols (shorter summer) if I was in charge.

I really wish people would read threads properly and stop reading between the lines. OP is not looking for suggestions on what to do with her children. She is merely expressing the fact that she does not enjoy having the two of them together for a prolonged period of time as it causes her stress. She’s not looking for suggestions on how to tire them out on what to do with them, etc. I would think by now she knows all of this things. She’s just looking for someone understanding and solidarity. @icecreaminspain I hear you I never really enjoyed having my two together when they were younger but I do have to say as they’ve got an older it does get a little bit easier. Although they are 10 and 12 now and most of our arguments occur in the car when we’re trying to think of a song that we want to listen to…That we all enjoy.😅

I've got 2 who are nigh on impossible to get to school so I'm really looking forward to it, but you most definitely won't be alone in dreading it! My brother in law used to hate half term

It’s human nature to want to try and help people who are struggling, that’s all.

And I totally understand that, I do, but she didn’t ask for help… she said she doesn’t enjoy parenting her children together, and wanted to know if she was alone in the way she thinks. I think if she wanted it to happen and suggestions on things to help past time, etc then she would’ve asked that.

Try telling teachers that when some people can’t face a week with a couple of children.

You can’t swim with a one adult to two under 5s ratio; not round here anyway.

Nothing to apologise for @GalaxyJam just it always starts speculation eyc

February half-term is the worst. Cold wet and miserable. DS is autistic and thrives on routine so not having school in the morning means constant meltdowns, then just as he gets used to it he's back, cue another week of meltdowns. Does it sound awful to say that I miss my 3 hours of downtime when he's off school?
No advice, although NT sounds good, we'll likely be stuck in the house. He loves swimming and being outside but can't cope with too many people so that's that. No way he'd sit and watch anything, maybe 10 minutes if I'm lucky.
So I don't have any advice other than to reward yourself at the end of the day for getting through. My reward is reading for half an hour after DH is home. I need that to recharge.

It could be worse and you could be like me - a 9yo who is largely unable to leave the house and a 15yo who wants lifts to meet his friends most days. For me, half term is about not also having to work whilst navigating the challenges of having one child in burnout and another who wants a normal life.

I'd give anything for a walk in the fresh air - even if it is pouring with rain!

Take one day at a time
plan a thing for every day - to get out somewhere when its is their worst time
each day plan a small treat - a trip to
the sweet shop, a small present shop, getting a nee set of pens for eg, a baking afternoon, a film afternoon, a get muddy afternoon, a trip to local animal sanctuary, a pretend spa day with face packs ( i found lavender oil in bath good for my dc)
…. cheap things. Do they have any intrests?
Also build In rewards for yourself- ! X

Thank you yes …. I am actually rather good at doing things; I’m the mum everyone asks for what to do in the local area.

I am sure it will be fine; I just get very tense and anxious before the holidays and any extended unstructured time together. I thought the summer had helped me get over it as it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated but then Christmas was awful so I’m now anxious again 😂😂

No wonder you're stressed! Rushing around every day hither and thither.

It might be a good idea to have a week at home and start getting them used to the idea that they can just play with toys / draw / mess in the garden / read books (if they're old enough) / watch some TV. Around chores like shopping and cleaning and laundry.

I'm not saying do nothing all week, but we never used to try to spend every day out of the house and children learn quickly enough how to entertain themselves and how to fit in with normal day-to-day household life. Activities were things like "helping" to bake and decorate biscuits. Soft play was on very rare occasions for birthdays etc.

Slow everything down, don't stress yourself out by trying to wrangle both of them at soft play or a NT property.

Is their dad around? If so what is he doing? If he can't get the same annual leave he'll at least be around some of the days and needs to either take one or both so you get a break. I'd definitely still put the youngest in nursery on the one day you can.

I also dislike Feb half term we only have one but he has some additional needs and is very full on. We are going away, but only because our summer holiday last year was cancelled because of my health.

There isn’t a way that is not stressful @LVhandbagsatdawn .

If being at home was a locket utopia where we lounged about in pyjamas having a leisurely breakfast and then spending the day doing crafts and watching films that would be lovely but I’m not sure how realistic it is for anyone with a two year old and an energetic five year old. The reality would be crashes and screams and arguments and tears.

As much as MN can be a positive influence it can be hard on threads like this because it can feel as if everyone is lining up to tell you you’re doing it Wrong which is why it’s stressful, with one camp ‘you need to be out all the time, even a few hours in this house is too much, get out, boys are like dogs’ etc and the other ‘you’re going out, don’t your children have a chance for downtime and to chill?

We actually don’t have a bad combination; it tends to be morning activities then time at home but I’m sure someone will tell me that’s wrong too!

Do you have a partner ? Can they take a couple of days.Mine are older now ,but liked to curl up with a film or PS.Where do you live ,We are near the coast and sea air tends to tire them out!Also baking some cakes or bics (not every day!) Swimming maybe perhaps early to beat the rush.

I'm sorry, I don't mean it as a criticism. It's just you say how stressed you are, how you hate taking them to soft play, how the children are overwhelmed all the time, how you're anxious about unstructured time, and how much you have planned for one week... I just think it's worth considering whether you're putting too much pressure on yourself - and on your children. Because what you're doing now is just making you feel awful.

When I say stay at home, I don't mean pyjama days and crafts and films. I mean "right, now mummy has to hoover and do some cleaning (or whatever you need or want to do) so Jack why don't you "help" by dusting / sweeping (obviously not really but it keeps them busy) / why don't you go and play with your toys upstairs for a bit and then when that's done we can have a drink and biscuit, and then we'll walk the dog / go to Sainsbury's and choose dinner".

I mean: stop the constant entertainment. Do normal things round the house. Let them learn how to fit in with you. Let them learn to entertain themselves. It really will pay dividends.

Again, I don't mean this as a criticism. It's hard, really hard.

No sorry it probably sounded grumpier than intended (as you can see by the time stamps on here we did not have a good night!)

It is getting a lot easier, I just feel Christmas was a big step backwards. It used to be unbearable and now it isn’t. Hoping it’ll get even better when the younger one is three.

I hate it as well. Im agoraphobic and my OH has no leave left. So we’ll be stuck in all week.

OP if it makes you feel any better, I try my hardest NOT to take time off work over the school holidays! I have every Friday off, plus obviously the weekends and that is more than enough for me. I find it very difficult otherwise filling the days. I know I am lucky that I have two sets of grandparents who can help.

LOL. I suspect the school nursery teachers wouldn't cope with my four year old for a week without a break. He is hard enough for just mornings. (Additional needs).

A more "smug" answer then, to beat the skiing poster: I'm blissfully happy to be child free!
😁

Ugh, the most boring activity ever and the most tedious clichéd suggestion.

I hear you op. I dread every single one of them. I just survive them. Mix of autism and adhd. I've got one that desperately needs to stay home do nothing so he can decompress from school. Two with adhd that need to be out exploring/socialising but on their terms. So whatever we do I've always got someone unhappy.

I really wish I could enjoy them and on my really good days I might treasure 5 seconds where they were not trying to kill eachother or themselves. But on the whole I just don't have those kind of children.
One on one great. All together nightmare.
I wear loops to cope with the noise. All snacks and meals are prepped the night before by my husband. We make it easy as possible. It's still mind numbingly boring for me with my youngest. My older ones are much better but again all together they just wind eachother up. They all want my attention but will all want to do different separate things. We will bake cookies it will be stressful. There will be meltdowns.

Any arts and crafts last 5 seconds and what feels like 2 years of me cleaning up. Going out we all have all in one suits and bung them on but we may have meltdowns before even get outside. Or the moment we do someone's fallen in a puddle/lost a welly.

It always feels like a game of the fox,chicken and grain riddle.

The only way I would remotely enjoy it more would be to have more support. As I can't pay for it and don't have family/friend support we just have to survive it. There isn't even any sen holiday clubs that exist near me. Their friends either seem to be on holidays or staying with grandparents so not available for play dates.

I even tried to access local children's support (young carers/respite) previously during the 6 weeks never ending holiday. Unless you are literally about to murder the whole family there is zero support. Couple of zoom meetings that my eldest couldn't be less interested in. A coffee morning that mine (and me) would hate. I'm likely audhd too the last thing I need is a busy noisy cramped cafe with forced socialising to deplete me more.

Why bother? Are you like vegans that have to proclaim they are vegan at every opportunity?

fucks sake