Will dr’s give me DD medical records

[Funparsnip]

DD is 15, she went to the doctors yesterday but won’t tell me why. I’m waiting for the morning rush to die down and then will ring the surgery and ask. If the receptionist can’t tell me, can I do a request for her medical records seeing as she’s a minor and I’m her parent? I only found out by accident so now I’m wondering how many other times she’s gone and not told me! Very very tempted to read her diary but that would be an invasion of her privacy.

Sounds like you need to scale back a bit first OP. Rather than bulldozing in and demanding she tells you. You need to improve your communication with her and allow her to trust you.

You sound similar to my mother who I have a very tricky relationship with now. I told her at age 17 I was going to GP for the pill, I had a boyfriend (my now husband). Because of her abysmal communication skills I'm still waiting for a safe sex talk or any sort of sex talk from her and her reaction to the pill was one of anger and confusion, "why on earth would I need the pill" etc... so it ended up with an argument and me telling her it was for heavy periods with an eye roll and that was the most we talked about it. There was no ensuring that I was ok and safe etc... Just piss poor communication.

This is a joke right? Or a reverse so you can confirm your own mother was awful to you?

If it isn't you really SERIOUSLY need to stop, reflect and change everything about your parenting right now.

100% agree, I have (I think) a great relationship with my daughter, we talk about everything and I completely respect her privacy and she knows she can come to me with anything however there are some things I’m pretty sure she will want to talk to her friends about and not me and that’s normal and fine but asking for medical records and reading her private thoughts dear god a great way to have no relationship with them at all and watch them slowly cut you off

If you were my mum I would go no contact with you without hesitation. I assume the username for you is appropriate. Get your big beak out of teenagers privacy and security.

Yep. I used to write in a diary and I used to write stories as well. I found out at 16 that my mum had been reading everything. It wasn't only my relationship with her that was fucked, it was my relationship with writing. Something I genuinely loved doing as a teenager and I have many happy memories of sitting with my typewriter for hours. I had a massive stack of stories in my room and she read every single one. The sense of violation can't be overstated. These are private writings.

Google Gillick competence

She won't tell you why she went to the doctor but she leaves her diary lying around where you can get at it?

Clearly you’ve never had to deal with safeguarding a teenager.

Op do you have any concerns about anything- MH, self harm, weight loss, drugs etc?

If yes for any then yes I wouldn’t hesitate to read her diary or search her room. My doing so saved my daughter’s life on more than one occasion and got her the treatment and support she needed.

No point waiting until you hit a crisis.

No absolutely not.
She is likely Gillick/Fraser competent and it would be against the law for them to disclose it to you.

I used to go to the doctor at that age for the contraceptive injection. And if my mum would have made it awkward and weird by requesting records I’d have never gone back. And would not have used the contraception.
Be careful meddling it can do more harm than good.

If the OP had those concerns she would have said so. She's just nosey.

There's nothing 'clearly' about it so stop looking for validation to invade a teenagers privacy. The OP hasn't mentioned any of that in her posts or the replies would be very different.

That's so incredibly sad, I'm really sorry that happened and had that impact on you - but I'm not surprised. I'm still unnecessarily secretive now, even though I have nothing at all to hide. These things stay with us. Sending love x

You cannot. She has a right to confidentiality unless she is deemed not to have capacity eg significant impairment

Best thing to do is tell her/send her a message saying you know she’s gone to the doctors and that you’re there for her if she ever needs to talk about anything at all and that you’ll listen without judging or being cross about anything. Then leave it. Please don’t press her to tell you what it was about. How you handle this could have a lasting impact on your future relationship as she becomes an adult.

No chance OP. I couldn’t even get my 15yo daughter’s NICU records last year without her permission. (She wanted them, she was fine about this)

No they won’t give you the records, as she will have been assessed as competent with capacity at her age, and nor should you know.

She is entitled to the same privacy as you are, but healthcare professionals will breach that if they deem your DD is at risk.

Your role is to support her at home and ensure it is a safe space for her to talk to you about anything thats troubling her.

Almost certain they won’t give you her medical details

almost certain

This is possibly the best post I've seen so far on this issue OP. I get it you are concerned about your daughter, but you have to tread carefully here otherwise you risk losing your daughter wanting to talk to you about such issues.

I’m actually quite shocked by this. Your poor daughter.

Also please do not damage your relationship further with your DD by reading her diary- that is something that would completely destroy her trust in you!!

It’s probably for contraception and that’s why she doesn’t want to talk to you about it. However, more concerning is the fact that your DD doesn’t want to talk to you. I’d be addressing that rather than trying to access her confidential notes, which you are NOT entitled to.

If she’s gillick competent then no they won’t and shouldn’t share her information with you.

Nope.

She's entitled to leave her diary where she wants in her own home without nosey looking through it, don't be ridiculous victim blaming.