Will dr’s give me DD medical records

[Funparsnip]

DD is 15, she went to the doctors yesterday but won’t tell me why. I’m waiting for the morning rush to die down and then will ring the surgery and ask. If the receptionist can’t tell me, can I do a request for her medical records seeing as she’s a minor and I’m her parent? I only found out by accident so now I’m wondering how many other times she’s gone and not told me! Very very tempted to read her diary but that would be an invasion of her privacy.

But most people haven't had your experience and it may just be the cringe factor that stops her daughter talking. Not everyone faces the same challenges that you had.

I think the fact the the OP has posted this question and is quite happy to read her daughter’s diary to find out if she can’t get her medical records might suggest that there might be a bit more going on than just the cringe factor.

Aged 14 and over the will not tell you. Has a right to medical privacy same as anyone else. If they deem her at risk they would make required referrals otherwise its between her and her GP.

Absolutely not. Are you mad. Why would you invade her privacy like that. Not at all surprised she won't tell you. Ugh.

No you cannot. HTH.
DOI a GP

I find it absolutely crazy how many people are judging OP and saying that it is an invasion of privacy to want to know why OP’s daughter is going to the GP… as a mother of a 15 year told daughter (who is currently going through eating disorder treatment and CYMPHS OCD treatment) maybe my stance is slightly skewed. However, I struggle to understand why, as a parent of a child under 18, you are not allowed to know the reason why your child is seeking medical help!? … I’m an not allowed to leave the building when my daughter has her CYMPHS OCD therapy and am required to attend every appointment with her at eating disorder clinic…Additionally, at 15, she cannot make decisions to keep herself safe and cannot even purchase paracetamol or Ibrofufen (or alcohol, vapes, etc). Parents are required to ensure their 15 year olds attend school and / or get a full education, attend medical appointments, eat well and are required to monitor social media usage and ensure that they are not engaging in risk taking behaviour (otherwise a social services referral will be made!) and are require to keep the children safe ! How can we do this if we do not know the reasons why a 15 year old might be accessing. Medial treatment!??

If scenario 3 is accurate, since she is a minor, who would be assisting her in making decisions about the pregnancy? If she chooses to continue with the pregnancy, who would be supporting her and providing guidance given that she is underage? (practical, financial etc)

OP you should be pleased that your dd is managing her health and taking responsibility for making her own appointments. I wish my 18 year old was that mature!

Because if it was a safeguarding issue, a GP will follow protocol and intervene / liaise with parents where required.

Your daughter is obviously not deemed competent to make her own medical decisions due to her ED.

Your daughter is obviously not deemed competent to make her own medical decisions due to her ED.
@BudgetBuster why phrase your post in such a harsh, rude and unkind way? Are you aware that dealing with an ED is hell on earth for the family. I'm trying to think what type of person would express themselves in the way you did 😢

I do too. Unfortunately many many parents have to live with the consequences of not becoming involved earlier enough when something doesn’t feel quite right.

I made that mistake and would never make the same mistake again.

Including MH

How on earth are you reading this as harsh, rude and unkind? That poster simply seemed to be making a comment about why the previous poster might have had access to her child’s medical records.

It’s not rude to say a medical condition might make someone not competent to make their own decisions.

They won’t share anything with you. My DD struggled with her mental health from age 15 to about 18. Thankfully she’s much better now, but we weren’t privy to any of her medical information. It’s really hard to try to help your child when you don’t know what’s going on. I asked th GP for advice on what to do or what not to do but he wouldn’t share any information at all. It was devastating constantly wondering if we were making things worse for her and trying to second guess all the time, but I totally understand our DD was entitled to her privacy.

But some people have had my experience (and I suspect not uncommon in my age group with parents who were born during/just after the war where there was a view of "not bothering the doctor" and "just get on with it").

OP's posts suggest she is not an approachable parent; so it's entirely possible her DD feels like I did.

The pill can be used for reasons other than contraception. I went through the hell of heavy periods for years, until I managed to see the GP without my mother there.

My mother was not happy about it.

No you can’t.

my ds is disabled and I’m his carer and for me to be able to even ring and make an appointment for him he had to sign a forest of paperwork giving me consent to have access.

It was factual... I can't fluff up the facts. I was merely pointing out why that particular poster had so much involvement in her daughters care.

Im shocked at this tbh. I thought all parents had access to their kids records. Do you not have the NHS app? I have the app and can see me and all of my children's records on there.
When they turned 11 I just had to confirm that I still wanted access. But they never once mentioned consent from the children and have never asked them. As far as I know I have this access until they are 18.
I would presume she has gone for contraception

Jesus Christ, you know people get arrested for this type of controlling behaviour? Parent from hell

I'm the same era as you and that certainly does not apply to me and mine, other people can have different experiences that are equally valid.

My Mum was strict but approachable but when I was exploring the world and my sexual feelings, it wasn't something I considered my ancient crypt keeper of a mum would understand because, well in my head, it was all new and everything had changed since her day.

The idea of discussing sex in general with mum was OK but discussing my potential sex life was a bit cringe worthy. But I got over it and talked to her in my own time as I valued her opinion and support but she no doubt would have preferred to know as it was all unfolding. But then she had brought me up to be independent and to think for myself. None of that is negative, its quite natural and I sought the appropriate advice my mum had drilled into me I needed, when I needed it. she equipped me for the world.

The OP does not give enough info about her relationship with her daughter to reach the assumption you are making. She is clearly out of her mind with concern and worry about her daughter. Why do people always assume the negative. She is a worried mum, perhaps taking things to the extreme because she has all these horrible thoughts going through her head.

And yes, she could be a psycho kitty controlling Mother whose daughter dares not talk to her but where are you getting that from? We simply do not know and shouldn't assume the negative.

She may not be able to buy paracetamol or ibuprofen but she can be prescribed it without your knowledge or consent.

Your situation is completely different. Managing an ED requires parental involvement. But not all medical needs do.

It is not always in the child’s best interests for their medical needs to be shared with a parent.

The OP does not give enough info about her relationship with her daughter to reach the assumption you are making.

I think she has.

The OP "sat her daughter down" and got annoyed when she didn't tell her why she'd been to the doctor (massively controlling)
She is wanting access to her medical records (huge invasion of privacy)
She is thinking about reading her diary (also huge invasion of privacy).

If OP had posted something along the lines of
"I'm really worried about my 15 year old DD. I found out that she'd been to see the doctor but she hasn't told me why. Is there anything I can do, other than reassuring her that I am here for her when and if she wants to talk and that I won't judge" I would have an entirely different viewpoint.

Different viewpoint fine. Yes she sat her daughter down, I would have probably done the same but tempered it with, I'm here is she needs me. We may come from the same age group fromt he sound of it but have had different life experiences so I am allowed to think differently, it would be a boring world if we all thought in the same way.

It would go through my head to ring the GP if I had serious reason to be concerned (i.e pregnancy, mental health) but wouldn't do that except in extreme circumstances and it would more likely be an expression of concern than "dish the dirt".

She hasn't told us about her relationship with her daughter in other respects so I have nothing to base an opinion on as to the state of their relationship otherwise. I have made it clear that its understandable to have thoughts like this running through your head as a mother but that going through with it would be unwise unless there are warning signals about her daughter that she has omitted to mention.

Maybe she went to ask for help about her stifling mum. She went to the doctor ffs, she’s going to be an adult very soon, let her find her feet.
It’s a huge thing to go to gp alone at her age, great she’s self advocating