Will dr’s give me DD medical records

[Funparsnip]

DD is 15, she went to the doctors yesterday but won’t tell me why. I’m waiting for the morning rush to die down and then will ring the surgery and ask. If the receptionist can’t tell me, can I do a request for her medical records seeing as she’s a minor and I’m her parent? I only found out by accident so now I’m wondering how many other times she’s gone and not told me! Very very tempted to read her diary but that would be an invasion of her privacy.

@LeedsLoiner surely you would prefer her to get the sexual health interventions she needs them rather than not getting them (if she needs them)? "Legally underage" does not mean she is not sexually active.

I would read her diary without hesitation.

You do not have the right to access her medical records.

You say she is ONLY 15... but what you are ignoring is that she doesn't feel comfortable enough talking to her own mother about whatever it may be.... so your focus should be on repairing your relationship with your daughter not trying to rip it further apart. She won't be 15 forever.

When I was her age I also couldn't speak to my mother, even now in my 30s I don't tell her much. On the flipside, our teens tell us everything because we wouldn't dream of reacting how you are.

At 15, she could be looking for contraception, she could be looking for advice on puberty or periods, she could have an ingrown toenail that she's embarrassed by. She could be feeling down. It could literally be anything. A GP has a duty of care to the patient..... not to a nosey mummy.

What on earth. Leave her alone and respect her privacy. She'll tell you if she wants to.

You'll only push her away further if you treat her this way

No, a Dr will assess her for gillick competency, fortunately your daughter has a right to keep her medical records private, you have a duty of care to your daughter but that does not mean you have a legal right to her medical records.

@Funparsnip

I suggest your Google Gillick Competence.

She's perfectly in her rights to go to the Dr's on her own without your knowledge.
neither she or the Dr's have to tell you what it's about.
maybe lose some of the exclamation marks, cool off and talk to her like a young woman with agency, and don't betray her trust.

The question you need to be asking is not whether you can force the GP to share your child's data without her consent (you can't), but why you have such a poor relationship with your dd that she doesn't feel comfortable telling you herself.

Well, I would far prefer that to the alternative.

Fingers crossed she’s written nothing about her confidential medical issues in her diary.

Jesus woman, by the way you’re talking I can see why she doesn’t feel able to talk to you. Going through her diary is an absolute no go.

I hope you sat her down with love and care and told her that she can come to you about anything and that you’re always there for her rather than than grilling her like she’s under interrogation.

She was probably there for contraception but obviously doesn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to you about it.

Maybe think twice about how you’re approaching parenting with your daughter and she might feel more comfortable being open with you.

She will never trust you again.

You need to ask yourself why she can’t talk to you and tell you.

Struggling to understand how asking for her confidential medical records is any less of an invasion of privacy than reading her diary

If she's Gillick competent you have no right afaik. Dc had to sign a form authorising us to speak with GP on their behalf. Suspect if she won't tell you what the appointment is for she won't be keen to do this.

Law varies between Scotland and England. Assuming the GP surgery feels she has "capacity" then you have NO right if she is 15 to access her records. And thank goodness for that law.

In fact, she obviously doesn't trust you now, hence her going by herself.

Poor kid.

She clearly doesn’t/can’t already

Based on what though? Her going to the doctor and not telling you why at 15 years old? Because your nose is bothering you? Give her her privacy. If there was a reason for them to contact the parent or guardian of a 15 year old based on capacity or safeguarding, they will. Otherwise, if you try to get her records or read her private diary, it's a one way street to utterly destroying your relationship.

I’ve just asked my bestie (she’s a consultant) no you absolutely cannot be given access to her medical notes without her consent
and BTW I have a daughter and would never ever dream of doing this

At 15 for your DD to have the confidence and sense to attend the dr is a good thing. I’m sure it’s hurtful that she won’t tell you why, but I would suspect you don’t have that kind of relationship then. I’d assume at 15 it will be something related to sex and I’d be glad she had the sense to go and see about it tbh.
If you are going to ask for her records then you might as well read her diary - both a major privacy breach.

I don't think that's a given, when I was that age I was just intensely private (still am). But this is one way to make sure she never does.

Same. I would be crushed if my daughter didn't want me to support her for any reason but at 15 and having competence, its her choice. And I wouldn't guilt trip her over me being crushed either. The fact that this girl has the confidence to go to the GP on her own in a world where many find even making the phone call for an appointment a bit of a trial, is a good thing.

Or she wants counselling for how to deal with her overbearing mother who won't respect barriers.

I'm really shocked by those advocating reading a teenager's diary.

My mum read my diary and opened my post in my teens. She thought it was such a reasonable thing to do that I was then in trouble for what she'd read - and honestly I was such a dull teenager, there was absolutely nothing worth the drama. I was being told off for my feelings, rather than any outrageous behaviour.

End result - total loss of trust with my mum, which has never been repaired and never will be. I have always kept her at a distance.

Well that's one you won't see for dust when she's 18, you absolute control freak!

Assuming that you're worried that it might be about contraception, you can still have whatever talk you would have with her anyway. Unless you were planning to hit the roof of course. Maybe don't do that