Will dr’s give me DD medical records

[Funparsnip]

DD is 15, she went to the doctors yesterday but won’t tell me why. I’m waiting for the morning rush to die down and then will ring the surgery and ask. If the receptionist can’t tell me, can I do a request for her medical records seeing as she’s a minor and I’m her parent? I only found out by accident so now I’m wondering how many other times she’s gone and not told me! Very very tempted to read her diary but that would be an invasion of her privacy.

Yes I agree.

My ‘mum’ was the same, controlling , dismissive, neglectful and completely disrespectful of my privacy. I still struggle with boundaries now and making my own decisions .
i have a lovely open dialogue with my kids and im sure theres things they choose not to tell me too and that’s ok.
of course I want to know every little thing about my babies but they’re growing up and they start to separate from us.

I am in a grief process at the moment seeing all the changes and looking back at my little ones and the different kind of freedom we had then before high school and GCSEs and the complexities of daily life

id hate to think that my actions pushed them away from their safe adult just at the point where they’re spreading their wings and trying new things as young adults , it made me incredibly vulnerable not having a safe parent and I’m still dealing with the consequences now.

You sound horrendous.

I posted upthread about Gillick competence. I know about it because I used to work in an agency that offered counselling to adolescents and young adults.

One of the criteria for being accepted for counselling there was that the young person had to initiate the process. We didn't accept referrals from schools, doctors, parents or any other involved adult. This was partly because we wanted the young people to be engaged and willing to participate rather than coerced into attending but also because if a young person was organised and motivated enough to find out the agency details, then ring up and book an assessment and then actually attend that assessment and eventual first session it was a good indicator that they were Gillick competent.

In this case the daughter was aware she needed to see a doctor, was able to book a GP appointment (no mean feat these days) and then turn up for it. To me that's a pretty good indication that she is a sensible young woman who doesn't need parental support with this decision.

Hopefully the doctors will send you away with a flea in your ear. Fair play to your daughter for taking matters into her own hands. I am not surprised she has not spoken with you, you sound very controlling. She will tell you one day.