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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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14
GasperyJacquesRoberts · 11/02/2026 09:03

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100Bees · 11/02/2026 09:04

When I heard about it this morning the newsreader said no details had been released but I thought 'It's a man of course'.

Later I heard it was a woman and though that was very very unusual. So unusual I thought there was a high chance it was a trans woman. Looks like my gut feelings were right.

BreakingBroken · 11/02/2026 09:04

Such a tiny village, all the community would know the person by name.
Probably only a couple RCMP in place to respond.
Was the assailant First Nations?

baroqueandblue · 11/02/2026 09:04

TinyTear · 11/02/2026 07:19

A woman would wear practical clothes like trousers if going on a spree in my opinion. Cosplayers would wear flowy dresses

Nine people have been murdered, but you just see an opportunity to be Victoria Wood.

Fucking hell.

alittleprivacy · 11/02/2026 09:11

Ereshkigalangcleg · 11/02/2026 08:59

From the picture I’ve seen he’s a pretty obvious male.

Just for clarity there are two trans identifying males in that same general area with the same, fairly unusual, surname and pictures of both men are circulating. If you are seeing photos of an older man, clearly not a teenager, he is absolutely not the shooter.

likelysuspect · 11/02/2026 09:15

I thought peoples were happy when thems their true selves, how come thems were so miserable they wanted to kill other people?

dapsnotplimsolls · 11/02/2026 09:16

likelysuspect · 11/02/2026 09:15

I thought peoples were happy when thems their true selves, how come thems were so miserable they wanted to kill other people?

Maybe the other people weren't affirming enough.

alittleprivacy · 11/02/2026 09:18

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ThatCyanCat · 11/02/2026 09:19

BreakingBroken · 11/02/2026 09:04

Such a tiny village, all the community would know the person by name.
Probably only a couple RCMP in place to respond.
Was the assailant First Nations?

If the pics I've seen are the right person, no.

likelysuspect · 11/02/2026 09:21

TinyTear · 11/02/2026 07:19

A woman would wear practical clothes like trousers if going on a spree in my opinion. Cosplayers would wear flowy dresses

Absolutely. Hugely performative with, in this case, dead people at the end of it

The cos play usually requires lack of consent to mangle language, deny the existence of women, lack of consent around female only spaces. That is bad enough but now kids have been killed for this performance.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:22

Bikergran · 11/02/2026 08:21

FFS. So many people dead, probably many children, and all people can hark on about here is bloody gender ideology, and bicker with each other. I'm heartbroken for the families of these poor children. The shooter is apparently dead. No doubt a full investigation will be carried out, and only then will we actually know the complete truth. Whoever he/she/it/they was, there was obviously severe mental illness involved. Abdolute tragedy for all concerned.

This. Was coming on to say the same thing. The initial reports said ‘woman, brown hair, wearing a dress’. That was reported because to all intents and purposes the shooter presented as female and the description was issued for the safety of the public in an ongoing crisis situation. What did people expect ?

Nine people are dead and you all expected the authorities to worry about gender ideology. If you are the family of any of the dead or injured you won’t give a flying fuck about their gender.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 11/02/2026 09:24

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:22

This. Was coming on to say the same thing. The initial reports said ‘woman, brown hair, wearing a dress’. That was reported because to all intents and purposes the shooter presented as female and the description was issued for the safety of the public in an ongoing crisis situation. What did people expect ?

Nine people are dead and you all expected the authorities to worry about gender ideology. If you are the family of any of the dead or injured you won’t give a flying fuck about their gender.

But if they had said transwoman that would have been a lot clearer right? In a crisis that extra information without the gaslighting may have saved a life.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 11/02/2026 09:26

likelysuspect · 11/02/2026 09:15

I thought peoples were happy when thems their true selves, how come thems were so miserable they wanted to kill other people?

Because troubled teenagers with mental illnesses are being given a one size fits all “cure” that does nothing to resolve the underlying issue, but also pumps them full of exogenous hormones that make things worse.

CraftandGlamour · 11/02/2026 09:28

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Totally agree

BunfightBetty · 11/02/2026 09:30

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:22

This. Was coming on to say the same thing. The initial reports said ‘woman, brown hair, wearing a dress’. That was reported because to all intents and purposes the shooter presented as female and the description was issued for the safety of the public in an ongoing crisis situation. What did people expect ?

Nine people are dead and you all expected the authorities to worry about gender ideology. If you are the family of any of the dead or injured you won’t give a flying fuck about their gender.

Accurate information is important, there's no use trying to shame people out of being interested in the facts.

It's important to know the sex of the offender at the time of the event if the gunman is still on the loose - if people are told it's a woman, that's what they look out for, not a man in a dress. That could cost lives. You surely don't think that's of less importance than affirming a murderer's ideas about himself?

It's also important after the event, so that accurate statistics can be compiled, trends identified, and measures taken to mitigate other incidents in the future. It is the case that there have been several mass shootings by trans identified individuals. What exactly do you think will be the use in putting our fingers in our ears and going 'la la la, don't want to hear it, don't want to know' about that?

You purport to care about the victims here, so presumably you care that any future victims are avoided, as far as possible? In which case, preventative measures should be taken and that would be impossible to do effectively without a very clear idea of who carries out these attacks and why.

Facts, truth, reality and evidence matter.

likelysuspect · 11/02/2026 09:33

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 11/02/2026 09:26

Because troubled teenagers with mental illnesses are being given a one size fits all “cure” that does nothing to resolve the underlying issue, but also pumps them full of exogenous hormones that make things worse.

Its worse than that because they're not considered troubled teens with MH issues

They are considered as 'being in the wrong body', as a thing, a diagnosis, a concrete issue, a tangible concept and position.

Rather than being seen in the same way as someone who thinks they're Jesus or Elvis or someone who wants to become deaf or disabled or someone who thinks they're fat so becomes anorexic

We recognise all of those as MH disorders with the need for treatment. This fantasy for some reason stands out on its own.

So for the other posters bleating on about why gender ideology is being discussed in the light of this tragedy, this is why, this is also the tragedy of allowing this ideology to stand rather than treating it as the medical issue it is.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 11/02/2026 09:34

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:22

This. Was coming on to say the same thing. The initial reports said ‘woman, brown hair, wearing a dress’. That was reported because to all intents and purposes the shooter presented as female and the description was issued for the safety of the public in an ongoing crisis situation. What did people expect ?

Nine people are dead and you all expected the authorities to worry about gender ideology. If you are the family of any of the dead or injured you won’t give a flying fuck about their gender.

Yes, I do expect the authorities to worry about gender identity ideology. Because there have been a disproportionate number of these killings by “trans people”.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:34

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No-one is denying that. But there’s a time and a place for this kind of discussion, and the immediate aftermath of the violent deaths of nine people is not it. Bickering about the shelter in place warning describing the shooter as female in a dress is beyond disrespectful to everyone involved in this tragedy, when that warning was issued based on the description they had at the time, to protect the public. The details will undoubtedly be reported as they become clearer.

I clicked on this thread, as l hadn’t heard the news. I expected to find emerging details and expressions of shock and sympathy for the victims and their families, not yet another bloody thread hijacked for a discussion on gender ideology. Utterly shameful.

likelysuspect · 11/02/2026 09:36

I wonder how it would be if I idenfied as black. (Im white). Lets say I started telling people Im black. Used an Ethopian name for example. Said I really am Ethiopian, I might not look it but I am. I refer to myself that way, I put that on forms for my ethnicity and identity.

And I committed a crime. And the authorities said look out for a black woman running amok.

Thats ok is it?

BunfightBetty · 11/02/2026 09:37

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:34

No-one is denying that. But there’s a time and a place for this kind of discussion, and the immediate aftermath of the violent deaths of nine people is not it. Bickering about the shelter in place warning describing the shooter as female in a dress is beyond disrespectful to everyone involved in this tragedy, when that warning was issued based on the description they had at the time, to protect the public. The details will undoubtedly be reported as they become clearer.

I clicked on this thread, as l hadn’t heard the news. I expected to find emerging details and expressions of shock and sympathy for the victims and their families, not yet another bloody thread hijacked for a discussion on gender ideology. Utterly shameful.

You don't think we can hold both in mind - be shocked and saddened, while also interested in avoiding more shootings of this kind in future? Most adults can manage this, not sure why you think it's so hard.

If you just wanted a performative thread of everyone trying to outdo themselves in how compassionate and empathetic they can signal themselves to be, with no other comment and analysis, you're probably on the wrong site.

You're definitely on the wrong site if you think we'll be cowed by some random scolding 'shame on you' like they're an 8 year old in the USA.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:37

Ereshkigalangcleg · 11/02/2026 09:34

Yes, I do expect the authorities to worry about gender identity ideology. Because there have been a disproportionate number of these killings by “trans people”.

The immediate aftermath of a tragedy like this is not the time or place for such a discussion.

Shedmistress · 11/02/2026 09:38

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:34

No-one is denying that. But there’s a time and a place for this kind of discussion, and the immediate aftermath of the violent deaths of nine people is not it. Bickering about the shelter in place warning describing the shooter as female in a dress is beyond disrespectful to everyone involved in this tragedy, when that warning was issued based on the description they had at the time, to protect the public. The details will undoubtedly be reported as they become clearer.

I clicked on this thread, as l hadn’t heard the news. I expected to find emerging details and expressions of shock and sympathy for the victims and their families, not yet another bloody thread hijacked for a discussion on gender ideology. Utterly shameful.

The time and place is when? When arenpeople allowed to talk about it without there always being a different time and place to discuss this mental health clusterfuck disaster of an ideology?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 11/02/2026 09:39

The problems with this ideology can’t be avoided, and there’s no covering up that this is a man, whatever the media comes out with.

ThatCyanCat · 11/02/2026 09:40

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/02/2026 09:37

The immediate aftermath of a tragedy like this is not the time or place for such a discussion.

That's exactly what the American gun lobby says after every shooting. It's a silencing tactic and I called it about an hour ago.

Truth and plain factual reality always matter, at any time. You lot didn't think before the tragedy was the time either.

Newyearsameme26 · 11/02/2026 09:40

I said to my 12 year old daughter this morning that this isn't a woman's crime and we must be careful of any reporting from Canada. And it's fucking true. And no it shouldn't be our focus, but it is as we are absolutely sick of it. These boys with mental health issues need a different approach to affirmation.

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