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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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14
ThatCyanCat · 11/02/2026 08:10

Supporterofwomensrights · 11/02/2026 08:03

I hate that this is what it takes to wake Canada up. I always figured it'd be a woman in the boxing ring that would be killed. Instead it's kids at school. How very sad. I feel absolutely awful for the families of the victims.

It won't wake them up. If he'd survived they'd house him in a women's prison and impose sanctions on anyone who didn't refer to him as female. They'll record it as a female crime and accuse anyone who objects, even if that includes bereaved families, of exploiting a tragedy to advance their bigotry.

The country is insane on this matter. This devastation won't change it.

PersephoneParlormaid · 11/02/2026 08:12

They’ve just said on the BBC news that they were initially looking for a woman in a dress. Why are they repeating this when they now know it’s not a woman?

Tackthat · 11/02/2026 08:13

Something needs to be done about this. It seems every year a white male does this.

If this was another race it would become part of their stereotype.

Ebok1990 · 11/02/2026 08:13

HairyToity · 11/02/2026 07:24

She / he could well have brought the guns in illegally from the USA.

He.

Ebok1990 · 11/02/2026 08:15

LesbianNana · 11/02/2026 07:49

It takes the focus off of this horrible tragedy as everyone is now scratching their head. News should be transparent. Just say he’s a transwoman.

Apparently this is quite a small town, only 2,400 people, so almost everyone will be affected by this to varying degrees. It’s truly awful.

www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/crime/canada-tumbler-ridge-british-columbia-school-shooting-latest-b2917937.html

He's not a woman of any description though. He's a man.

Bikergran · 11/02/2026 08:21

FFS. So many people dead, probably many children, and all people can hark on about here is bloody gender ideology, and bicker with each other. I'm heartbroken for the families of these poor children. The shooter is apparently dead. No doubt a full investigation will be carried out, and only then will we actually know the complete truth. Whoever he/she/it/they was, there was obviously severe mental illness involved. Abdolute tragedy for all concerned.

Supporterofwomensrights · 11/02/2026 08:23

ThatCyanCat · 11/02/2026 08:10

It won't wake them up. If he'd survived they'd house him in a women's prison and impose sanctions on anyone who didn't refer to him as female. They'll record it as a female crime and accuse anyone who objects, even if that includes bereaved families, of exploiting a tragedy to advance their bigotry.

The country is insane on this matter. This devastation won't change it.

I hope you're wrong. Being lied to when people's safety was still at risk is surely likely to make ordinary people angry. However, it's possible or likely Canada doesn't have a resistance organised enough to really push for change. I hope, for their sake, this is at least a crack in the dominance of the ideology.

Dannexe · 11/02/2026 08:24

Bikergran · 11/02/2026 08:21

FFS. So many people dead, probably many children, and all people can hark on about here is bloody gender ideology, and bicker with each other. I'm heartbroken for the families of these poor children. The shooter is apparently dead. No doubt a full investigation will be carried out, and only then will we actually know the complete truth. Whoever he/she/it/they was, there was obviously severe mental illness involved. Abdolute tragedy for all concerned.

This is precisely why accurate reporting matters though. We wouldn’t be discussing it if it had been reported accurately. It takes away from the main issue which is the dreadful loss of life.

borntobequiet · 11/02/2026 08:28

PersephoneParlormaid · 11/02/2026 08:12

They’ve just said on the BBC news that they were initially looking for a woman in a dress. Why are they repeating this when they now know it’s not a woman?

Edited

They can’t bring themselves to be honest about it, even now. Weasels.

LesbianNana · 11/02/2026 08:28

Ebok1990 · 11/02/2026 08:15

He's not a woman of any description though. He's a man.

Very true, I agree.

daysofpearlyspencer · 11/02/2026 08:30

Supporterofwomensrights · 11/02/2026 08:23

I hope you're wrong. Being lied to when people's safety was still at risk is surely likely to make ordinary people angry. However, it's possible or likely Canada doesn't have a resistance organised enough to really push for change. I hope, for their sake, this is at least a crack in the dominance of the ideology.

Unfortunately, self identification is enshrined in law in Canada, the trans lobby is extremely powerful there, they are calling the killer a gun person rather than mis gender him. The correct pronouns usage is way more important than dead children apparently.....

ThatCyanCat · 11/02/2026 08:33

Supporterofwomensrights · 11/02/2026 08:23

I hope you're wrong. Being lied to when people's safety was still at risk is surely likely to make ordinary people angry. However, it's possible or likely Canada doesn't have a resistance organised enough to really push for change. I hope, for their sake, this is at least a crack in the dominance of the ideology.

I hope I'm wrong, but I'm not.

If he had survived and gone on the run, they would have rather told everyone to look out for a woman (they might perhaps have slipped "assigned male at birth" somewhere three paras down) than be open and honest about the very first characteristic people will clock after skin colour. Affirming the lie trumps everything.

ApplebyArrows · 11/02/2026 08:34

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 11/02/2026 07:54

I think the initial reports were when the shooting was still active. If you're warning people you're going to give a description corresponding with what they might see. Eg "suspect is female, dark hair. Wearing a dress" rather than "not sure if it's a male or female, they're in a dress, best you go up and take a close look to check if they are really male"

What if that leads to people spotting the suspect, clocking that he isn't female, and then failing to take the necessary precautions?

Shedmistress · 11/02/2026 08:42

Bikergran · 11/02/2026 08:21

FFS. So many people dead, probably many children, and all people can hark on about here is bloody gender ideology, and bicker with each other. I'm heartbroken for the families of these poor children. The shooter is apparently dead. No doubt a full investigation will be carried out, and only then will we actually know the complete truth. Whoever he/she/it/they was, there was obviously severe mental illness involved. Abdolute tragedy for all concerned.

I am afraid that we DO need to talk about the rise in the altered mental stability if the governments refuse to stop giving people cross sex hormones and fail to stop everyone having to play pretend with mentally unstable people.

HarryMaguireSlabHead · 11/02/2026 08:42

It's bizarre to see the Daily Mail, Fox News etc say the killer is a man - but our BBC is saying he's a 'female in a dress but the gender has not been revealed'.

What on earth does that mean?

Dannexe · 11/02/2026 08:42

borntobequiet · 11/02/2026 08:28

They can’t bring themselves to be honest about it, even now. Weasels.

This is a bit of a silly comment. It hasn’t yet been formally confirmed by the authorities and so they are using the description that has been formally confirmed but putting it in quotation marks which indicates that they are merely reporting the official stance at this time.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 11/02/2026 08:46

I guess that alongside 'rapist gender' we'll now have 'murderer gender'.

daysofpearlyspencer · 11/02/2026 08:46

Dannexe · 11/02/2026 08:42

This is a bit of a silly comment. It hasn’t yet been formally confirmed by the authorities and so they are using the description that has been formally confirmed but putting it in quotation marks which indicates that they are merely reporting the official stance at this time.

The guys own family have named him, there are pictures of him out there on the Internet, clearly a trans identitying man.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 11/02/2026 08:48

Shedmistress · 11/02/2026 08:42

I am afraid that we DO need to talk about the rise in the altered mental stability if the governments refuse to stop giving people cross sex hormones and fail to stop everyone having to play pretend with mentally unstable people.

Exactly. Perfectly put.

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 11/02/2026 08:55

Chersfrozenface · 11/02/2026 07:57

"Person" would do fine as a description. "A person in a dress with brown hair". "A brown-haired person in a dress".

Because they were circulating the description given by witnesses who fled the scene. This is initial witness description from what was likely a scared panicked quick glance of a view. Not everything is a political statement.

alittleprivacy · 11/02/2026 08:55

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alittleprivacy · 11/02/2026 08:57

HarryMaguireSlabHead · 11/02/2026 08:42

It's bizarre to see the Daily Mail, Fox News etc say the killer is a man - but our BBC is saying he's a 'female in a dress but the gender has not been revealed'.

What on earth does that mean?

It means that the BBC adheres to press guidelines developed by trans lobbiests, as do the majority of Western media.

HarryMaguireSlabHead · 11/02/2026 08:58

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 11/02/2026 08:55

Because they were circulating the description given by witnesses who fled the scene. This is initial witness description from what was likely a scared panicked quick glance of a view. Not everything is a political statement.

I don't think that's true - I've seen a screenshot of a witness saying on I think Facebook that the shooter is a "man wearing a dress". This was posted before it was even a news story

Ereshkigalangcleg · 11/02/2026 08:59

From the picture I’ve seen he’s a pretty obvious male.

Dannexe · 11/02/2026 09:02

daysofpearlyspencer · 11/02/2026 08:46

The guys own family have named him, there are pictures of him out there on the Internet, clearly a trans identitying man.

I’m not disputing that he was male. I’m saying the BBC won’t confirm that until they have official confirmation. It’s silly to say that’s it’s because they can’t bring themselves to be honest and that they are weasels when they are following the reporting guidelines. They have it in quotation marks to indicate that it isn’t fact just a quote.

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