WWYD? School Incident.

[ciscowife]

DS (13) is a weekly boarder. Last night he texted me “can you come and get me”. I tried to call him a number of times to see what was the matter. I decided to phone the boarding house as this is out of character for him. Was told there had been an incident and he was very upset. Drove to collect him immediately without knowing what had happened. He was in an absolute state when I got there.
He had been dragged into a bedroom by a Y13 and Y10 pinned to the bed, wrapped up in a blanket so he couldn’t move and then threatened with being water boarded, and having various liquids and things shoved in his mouth. Luckily they were interrupted by the lady who was on duty. She knocked on the door and opened it to tell them something, DS shouted for help and managed to get away but he was then chased by them. He tried to run away from the school to get away from them.
The school dealt with it quickly and we had late phone calls with deputy head followed by meetings today. The two boys have been suspended for the rest of this week which basically means they are getting an extended half term break.
We feel that this isn’t acceptable punishment because it could have been an awful outcome. Some friends who are either in boarding/teaching have said that this should be a police matter and the council safeguarding team should be informed.
So WWYD oh wise mums in the net!

I think the fact that they did'n't call you - your son did, supports this. They seem to be dragging their feet, perhaps hoping it all all die down.

You don't need their permission to report this... but they will have to take it a lot more seriously if you do.

I would take him away. How can he be safe or feel safe if those other boys are still there? I wouldn't be at all impressed by the schools response, and there's something very weird about an older boy engaging in that sort of behaviour.

Police matter. Especially if one of them is 18.

I know nothing about boarding schools but this is absolutely awful. Your poor DS. Im sure hes still traumatised but hope he feels better soon.

Those kids are a disgrace.

I'd go as far as to say it's almoat attempted murder... He easily could've choked and wtf were they trying to achieve other than control and fear... Horrific. I can't believe young lads could be that cruel!

Are you a parent of one of the little darlings??

Wow I’m so so grateful to you all for replying. I find it very hard to know what is too much when it comes to my DC’s and I feel very overwhelmed and stressed about the whole situation.
To answer some questions; the school is not private. DS desperately wanted to move there but there was no space for day pupils but surprise surprise there was space for him if he boarded. So we reluctantly agreed and have been waiting for a day space to become available. He has stopped boarding immediately and will not return to the boarding house, however, he loves the school and wishes to stay. He had an awful time at his previous school and has been so so happy at the current school.
The Y13 is indeed 18. We have had some trouble with the Y10 previously.
many questions you have raised have been questions we want answers to and we plan to go in tomorrow with pages of questions.
keeping DS safe is our number 1 priority here and thank you to those who said well done to him for knowing to call us immediately.
We really appreciate all of your thoughts! Xx

Jesus christ!! Thus is the worst thing I've read in here in years.
Take him out. Complain in writing to everyone. Email to the head and to the independent schools commission.
I work in a school , kids are safe, this is horrific!

OP based on your update I think you have the perfect case to say he is now a day pupil or you will be going to Ofsted/ police.

This is horrific. I would be phoning the police myself as these boys need excluded not just suspended. Secondly tell the school due to their failing to safeguard your child from a potentially life threatening position they need to give him a day space because you do not trust them to keep him safe at night.

I didn’t know there were state boarding schools!

i would call the police and remove my child from the school and have him live with me where I can look after him myself.

Thank you @TaraC25 We are still dealing with the fall out.

I think we should all agree to ignore @pocketpairs who clearly has an agenda, and is adding nothing of any value.

The culprits have been suspended while an investigation takes place. I would imagine this will be upgraded to an exclusion very soon. They won’t tell you what’s happening with them but I would do all that other PP have suggested, as in making a formal complaint, especially as the culprits have previous form.
I hope your DS recovers soon.

My heart skipped a beat reading your OP.

I would never ever in a million years send my child back, I cannot see how anyone could.

Bloody boarding schools. Children need to be at home with their loving families.

No the school has not done enough. Not nearly. Their families are probably filthy rich and have the school in their pocket.

Tae him out and find a nice day school.

Apologies for quoting a post that had nothing to do with my post.

I agree with you @Letsgocamping67 I wish it weren't the case, but I think it is. They watch porn constantly. They are all many steps ahead of the IT Department and its filters. They know all of the VPN's to use, etc.

Ah well, I'm glad the school isn't so far away that at least you have the option of having him home every night. That is something: why should your son suffer, having to leave his friends, etc.

I think @CinnamonJellyBeans idea of holding the threat of police over the school in order to achieve the expulsion of the perpetrators, is something to bear in mind. Use the threat to give you leverage. But if the school vacillate in any way, straight to police.

I suspect they'll put the Y13 on early study leave.

Are you thinking of calling the police

What a ridiculous comment. If you have children, please set your bar a bit higher !

Definitely the police. I would be throwing everything at it. It’s assault, and the perpetrators should be expelled.

Yes, ridiculous comment. Where would school business end? How far would they have to go before it's police business?

The fact an 18 year old attacked a 13 year old is appalling and showing him to be a dangerous character. He's an adult and knows right from wrong. Call the police and insist the school enforce a stronger punishment to stop similar accidents occurring again

So sorry to hear that.
I can't believe this shit goes on, it's a world apart from my life, but makes me deeply sad to think that others kids can be so wicked to their peers.

After reading this post, I'm so grateful my Son has a great group of friends, he is a similar age to OPs child and it really struck me to think of the terror that poor boy would've been going through 😥

You’ve got to be kidding?! I can’t imagine for a second that most state schools have psychopaths pinning other pupils down trying to shove objects in their mouth and threatening to waterboard them. If that’s the case we should all be afraid…