To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

Sod that. Tell him to jump in a cab

Does he bollocks 😂

I take him to work in the morning on my way to work. I do work less hours than him but we earn roughly the same and I come home and do the dinner and chores so I don’t really stop when I get home.
I asked about his colleagues before and he says some walk, the nearest he could park would be this side of the park which is only about 10 minutes from our house so it makes sense for me to drive him but it’s such a tie.

Why are you entertaining this?

Does he do chores?

I don't drive and am dependent on my husband for lifts sometimes but no way would I expect him to collect me from half an hour walk away 5 nights a week! He might come and get me occasionally if it was really bad weather but usually I'd walk. Buy him an umbrella and a pair of chub rub shorts.

Interestingly I once went for an interview for a job in what sounds like a similar location. There just would not have been anywhere to park within a reasonable distance. Even the nearest public car parks would have involved me driving further away, walking back and paying quite a bit every day

It turned out not to be something I really wanted but I'm not sure what I would have done if it had been.

I don't understand why a grown man wouldn't walk for 30 minutes on a summer's evening?

Is he disabled in some way?

@stripeyrain initially I was goikg to ask why you couldn't have a small glass of wine at 6pm and drive to collect him at 9pm.

Since your update thank goodness he comes home at 9pm and you don't have to put up with him between 5pm and 9pm.

When the DC were little we lived 25 mins from my work. Dropped dc at school and walked briskly to work; walked home in the evenings and in the dark, often with an umbrella. Swerved the park because it was in sarf London and a bit dodge. DH woukd have thought I was pathetic if I'd wimped about it.

I could have got the bus but with waiting and stopping it only saved 10 mins tops.

I think you're being a bit of martyr. There's absolutely nothing stopping you texting early when you get home to say you're having a drink and he can get an uber or the bus.

No reasonable adult would expect their partner to never drink in the evening forever more because they accepted a job in a daft location.

You have spoiled him rotten, and made a rod for your own back.

Go on strike girl.

I wouldn’t say he was overweight but he has big thighs which do rub but overall he’s not large. He’s more rugby player build.

What was agreed when he took the job 6 years ago? Was you providing 5 days taxi service something you agreed to?

Even if you did, I agree with others, 1 day a week minimum he should get an Uber or walk. A healthy adult should have no difficulty with a 30 min walk.

He is really having his cake and eating it too. He can't have it both ways- some decision has to be made because this is not sustainable. He could get a lift to where the car is parked and drive home. Or get a cab. Or speak to his workplace about possible adjustments, especially if the area is not served by buses or there is no car park.

If only there were companies who had cars where you could ring them, book one and pay for them to pick you up and drop you places.

I dunno, just spit balling an idea here.

They could be called "taxis" or "ubers" or something

it makes sense for me to drive him but it’s such a tie.

Oh come on. Stop being such a martyr. You've created this "tie" yourself.

DSD and all her mates walk 30 minutes to school and back every day. Even in winter. Most of the kids in her school do as the public transport links are shit.

You're telling us that your fully grown husband can't do the same as what school children all across the world do every single day?

30 min walk is nothing in the summer, he can use some chub rub cream/liquid talc on his thighs like other people for his rash. Or walk slower... bike..
Or parking halfway is still convenient. Who cares that it's 10 mins close to your house. He can do that over the summer
Just say you'd like one day a week off as you'd rather go out on a Friday or something
Make up a club if you feel like you need to lie.. or actually join an exercise class or book club at that time

Why can't he lift share with management or park in the other businesses car parks .. really annoying

I read the OP and thought, I wonder how long the MN standard answer of a bike would be posted. Thanks for not disappointing 😂

I can only think of one place I've worked where anyone cycled there and that was one person. I don't know where the OP lives but for lots of us cycling just isn't a safe option

I don't drive, my DH is retired and has a car. It would never occur to me to rely on him for lifts. I know how important it is to be able to get home at the end of the day and just relax, having a 9pm commitment would drive me mad. For you, I would say the issue isn't that you're so desperate to drink, but that you quite reasonably want your down time to be just that. He should make his way home independently and respect your home time.

Also, for context, I was having a bit of a moan to my mum about a journey I have to make this week. She said "can't DH take you?", I said I wouldn't put him through that, he could have a nice day doing his own stuff and doesn't need to sit in traffic driving me around.

It's usually safe to cycle these days.

So basically you can’t go out with friends etc in the week let alone relaxing with a glass of wine at home because you have to be available at 9? Tell the lazy sod to cycle or walk or get a taxi. Moaning about half an hour walk! Tell him lots of parents walk longer than this twice a day with pre-schoolers to pick their dc up from school regardless of the weather. What happens if you’re unwell? Can’t decide if this is real or not, sounds so ridiculous.

For lots of people it’s not a safe option but thousands of people cycle to work safely every day . It’s not an anomaly

I drive and have a car. For something 30 mins walk away I would almost always walk, wouldn't even cross my mind to take the car. My DP doesn't drive, but he has never, in over 10 years, asked me to drive him anywhere because, as an adult, if he makes plans for himself he needs to be able to get himself there. I have collected or dropped him at times but only when I've offered first. I can't believe there is a grown man who can't walk for 30 minutes (or even 45) to allow his partner some down time.

I would feel the same OP
Thats very tying for you.
Once the weather improves I would cut back and it’s up to him if he walks/taxi/bikes it home.

He could put some running gear on and jog home.
Children walk 30 mins to school!