To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

Actually I get this. I find people who cannot drive are generally a bit wet and useless, unless of course they have a genuine medical reason like eyesight issues or whatever. But just not being able to grasp the simple skill of driving is a bit wet and definitely wouldn’t attract me to a man. I love being a passenger princess with my husband, but obviously can drive myself. It would cheese me off having to go out at 9pm every night, I’m nearly ready for bed then!

Why are you entertaining this?
Earn the same, do dinner and chores, and his personal taxi driver🙄.

Hope you haven't children with this selfish man child.

That's just your experience though - everywhere I have worked there have been a large percentage of cyclists, whether in the city or more rurally. Also in this case half the route to work is through a park! I mean how easy is it to cycle through a park?! I didn't say it was safe for everyone but I think a lot of people make excuses when actually it's eminently doable, people just don't want to.

how does everyone else there get to and from work and why isn't he doing the same?

You shouldn't have to get him every night. That is quite controlling as well as it means you can never do anything.

It's absolutely not tying at all.

Before I got one of our (coveted!) parking spaces at work, I would walk 10 minutes to the train station, get on a train for 40 minutes and then walk 30 minutes at the other end. Every day. Not once did I ever ask my DH to pick me up. Nor would he ask me if the situation was reversed.

Because we both have respect for the other person and understand that they'll want to unwind at the end of a working day and neither of us are doormats

Why the hell can't he walk for thirty minutes? That is beyond pathetic. He could cycle it in less than 10 minutes!

There is no way on god.I would be giving him a lift there or back. My kids walk over twenty minutes to get to school at High School. They survive.

I walk 45mins to work and back and in the dark in the winter months. Wouldn't even occur to me to ask for a lift. That is such a poor excuse for having to give him a lift everday.

Regardless of not being able to drink, this would drive me crazy. After work, dinner, chores, cleaning up the last thing I would want to be doing is a taxi service at 9pm every weekday.

He'd have to sort transport out himself.

Fucking hell he sounds like a needy flump!

DH picks me up once a week (at 5.30pm) as we only have one car between us and he has it with DS on the that day I work and he doesn’t. It’s very much appreciated but on the occasion that he couldn’t or just didn’t want to come for me I’d get the bus, get a taxi or if necessary walk, which would take about 2 hours from experience. Before DS I used to get the bus to work and run the 10km home fairly often.

I’d tell him you’re having at least one night a week ‘off’ and he’ll have to sort himself out.

I wonder this too @stripeyrain is he very overweight? I walk (for pleasure) 3 miles a day, (around an hour,) and never get a 'leg rash.' And I am some 3 stone overweight. Why is he getting a leg rash from only walking for 30 minutes?

I would find this annoying too.

TBH while this may be an unpopular view, I would probably have one glass of wine and pick him up. Then I would have scratched the itch of having a drink and can still drive safely and legally. And then presumably you can have more than one if you want to at weekends.

He 100% needs to walk occasionally, or cycle. I know LOADS of people
who only have one car or even no cars and they walk and cycle. It will do him the world of good. He should be extremely grateful to you!!

Clearly the problem isn’t the physicality/practicality of getting home - it’s that your husband will sulk and moan about having to walk/taxi/cycle/scoot once every few weeks. This isn’t a practical matter - all the suggestions of how to get home are irrelevant, because the issue is that this man is gonna guilt trip his wife for having a glass of wine and a relax. That’s what you need to resolve with him OP

There and back? Fuck that!
So every day you come home from work knowing you’re straight back out in a few hours? And not once in 6 years has he thought this is a bit much?
If you’re willing to do the majority of it, as a bare minimum I’d be saying he can find his own way back on Fridays.

I'd drink the bottle and tell him to make his own way home for once.

Like PPs it would annoy me more that I have to leave the house at 9pm every night to collect him.

Half an hour? Through the park? He’s ridiculous! I thought you would say it was 20 miles off a motorway!!! I’d probably cycle (I cycle into central London c 6 miles) as does DH (has a 22km cycle which is as quick as public transport and cheaper).

You must not live near me, there are many roads I would never consider cycling on, too many lorries, rural roads with poor visibility ahead, very narrow etc, you get the picture

And at this time of year there are so many potholes it's dangerous

I have to say, I don't understand what kind of workplace doesn't have any parking for its workers anywhere near the workplace, when there is no (or very little) public transport. I don't think I have ever known this before.

It's irrelevant to this post anyway. It's less than 2 miles away. He can walk it.

There's no way I would be chauffeuring my partner every day to work for 6 years when there is a perfectly reasonable alternative of him walking 30 mins.

Complaining about walking 30 mins is the sign of a big manchild in my opinion.

You are not wrong in wanting to be able to have some downtime with a drink some evenings but unfortunately you've obviously got into this routine where he is totally reliant on you driving him.
You need to break that habit - tell him to get walking or cycling or start using public transport even if it's only part of the way.

It on him to get himself too and from work.

FFS, he can walk, cycle or get a cab. It's really not a big deal. OP, you collecting him should be an occasional treat, not an everyday thing. Grow a backbone, & just tell him!

Exactly. I pick my husband up from work occasionally if I can but this is seriously pathetic not even walking 30 mins

It would do him good to walk, especially when it’s dry. Say pick him up once a week and he can sort the rest himself. My 13 year old walks home from dance class further than that on her own 🙄
he can get shorts to stop his legs chaffing! Doesn’t he ever walk even for exercise?

He's a grown ass man. Not your job to collect him....