To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

😂 Agreed! Surely he can manage this now and again.

Really ? I am so surprised at all these replies . He needs to be picked up from work not a party . And you are reluctant so you can drink wine ? Can't you wait until 9pm and if it's that important then you have a problem . Imagine if it was the other way around. If he told you to get a cab so he could go to the pub .

Same situation here even down to the leg chafing 😂 but it’s me the woman who has no parking at work. DH drops me off, if he can’t then I walk in. I either get a taxi home (£6 vs £25 daily parking!!) or walk home. Your husband needs to put a podcast on and get plodding. Also perhaps if he walks more he will chafe less! (Also DH is home busy with the kids not drinking. But no shame in a Friday wine IMO!)

Can you not drink after he's home ?

He could park a few minutes walk away from his work then couldn’t he, I’m not buying there’s no parking if there is a park on the route and it’s only 30 mins walk away from your home.

Oh hold up it's only a half hour walk? Obviously you need to tell him to walk. Stop minimising your own comfort and pleasure to an inconvenience.

Not the point?

Will he dissolve in the rain like a sugar mouse?

Those saying have a drink later - some of us go to bed by that time, if I want a drink after work it'll be about 6pm with nothing consumed after 8.30pm

There are many days in the UK that aren’t torrential rain or baking sunshine!

A 30min walk is nothing, can’t he get an ebike? Most companies have a bike to work scheme.

It’s giving manchild, that’s why, I would get the ick from a fully grown ass adult that couldn’t make their own arrangements to get to work and back (or at least if necessary) and that was happy to have their partner running around after them with no respect or consideration for their time or the fact that they may want to just be able to occasionally relax and just an entitlement instead that they will do it 🙄

It’s not just being able to have a drink, it’s not being able to settle in for the night when feeling rubbish, or making other plans with friends etc

Yes like a virgin Cuba Libra or Screwdriver and if she wants a really late night a virgin TVR 🙄

So he can definitely ride a bike then. Fucking hell tell him to sort himself out

Get some cycling shorts to wear (either under baggy shorts or trousers), no chaffing and it gets his recommended exercise out the way!

Sorry but he sounds incredibly lazy - won't walk in the winter because of 'weather', won't walk in the summer because of, well also 'weather'!

Has he been to the doctor about the rash, because presumably he has to walk other times outside of work - like on holiday. Or does it not happen on holiday?

Yeah I wonder this too. It can't be the case that every other worker there is getting a lift!

This would drive me batshit, and I wouldn't do it long term... I wouldn't expect my DH to do it for me either.

One of DH's colleagues worked 7-8 miles from where she lived, and she did shifts (sometimes an early start - and sometimes a late finish ... And she couldn't drive/wouldn't learn,) so her husband had to take her to and fetch her from work. 4 days a week.

She worked 7.30am to 3pm, and 3pm to 10.30pm So he would be at work 9.00am to 5.00pm, and have to take her for 7.30am (so up at 6.30am even though he didn't need to leave for his job til 8.40am!) And when she was on lates, he got home from work at 5.30pm and had to go out to get her at 10pm!

She got to work and from work (when she finished at 3.00pm and started at 3.00pm) on the bus. But the early starts and late finishes, her husband had to take her/get her as there were no buses running at this time.

Why on earth someone would get (and stay in) a shift work job that has no public transport to it - (or none half the time) - when they can't drive just baffles me. No WAY would I do this for anyone. Take them and fetch them from work all the time. I think it's a cheek to expect anyone to do it!

tl;dr, this woman's husband had to give up driving for a year. He was epileptic, but hadn't had a seizure for about 7 years. He had one this one day, and it was reported to the DVLA and his licence was revoked. He got it back after a year, but she had to get a job with bus times hours as she couldn't get there on early shift - or back on lates! I bet her husband was glad!

@stripeyrain If he could walk it in half an hour, he can bloody cycle it quickly! I don't wanna go all Four Yorkshiremen, but I used to walk 30 minutes to work - and back - for some years. (1.6 miles it was, 3.2 mile round trip.) When we moved further away, 3 miles (6 mile round trip) I cycled. (I could drive but didn't have my own car, and didn't need it as I could get to work on foot or by bike!) There was a bus, but it took at LEAST twice as long!) Walking and cycling kept me fit too!

TELL HIM TO GET A PUSHBIKE!

Sounds like he needs to improve his fitness.

Tell him you are having Friday evenings off from now on and he can organise his own shit once a week.

You are literally on call 5 evenings a week until you get home after 9pm. One day for yourself is more than reasonable.

You're approximately two miles from his place of work, then? He needs to pull himself together.

So every weeknight you have to interrupt what you are doing and collect him because he doesn't like walking? What does he get a leg rash from walking for 30 minutes in the summer? What are his fitness levels like generally?

Why he can’t go by public transport?
I would pick him up when it’s the weather was bad but I would go out with colleagues occasionally. If you are busy he should manage.

Meet in the middle, tell him to make his own way home on a Friday, he can walk or organise an uber.

This is ridiculous. A half hour walk?!? I wouldn't be enabling this (minus maybe if it was really, really horrible out or my husband broke his leg)

My husband walks 45 minutes up a hill to work. My 9 year old walks 30 minutes to school by himself. I can't imagine anything more pathetic than refusing to walk a short distance and demanding my partner chauffeur me around.

A short walk home is good for decompressing, he is an adult and he needs to take responsibility for how he gets to and from work all by himself.

Does he take the kids to school?