To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

Why can't he use public transport - buses usually go somewhere near those kind of places. Or park as close as he can and walk the last bit?

I wouldn't resent this from a not being able to drink perspective. I think I could suck this up. I would massively resent never being able to be anywhere other than available for him at 9pm every day if there were viable alternatives. Never being able to put my PJs on and exhale until 9.15pm every weeknight. Fuck that.

Is he holistically a bit wet and lazy, or just with regards to walking/catching a bus? I mean, in winter with the weather we've had lately I'd gladly pick him up and save him a wet walk of any length, but there's no excuse in the summer. His thighs chafe...? Christ. Get him some Snag chub rubs.

I don't understand, what sort of job doesn't provide parking if it's in a remote location (i.e. one with no other parking around) and doesn't provide any public transport? How do all the other employees manage? What would your husband do if he was single, how would he get to work then?

ETA I've just seen your other comment OP re it being a half an hour walk... He needs to get a grip and walk or cycle. Cycling would take 10 minutes. I used to walk/cycle a similar distance to school, uni and to work in a previous job. If you leave in plenty of time and don't have to rush it helps with not getting too sweaty, or I'd just have to shower when I got there. He can't be putting this on you forever more, he's using you!

I don't mind helping with occasional lifts but would also really resent being someone's full time taxi service, so can understand your annoyance! I wouldn't be bothered about not being able to have a drink personally, but just not being able to fully relax and be 'in for the night's til he'd been collected would drive me nuts! Presumably you have to do dinner every night as well, what a drag!

WTF?!?! So it's a 30 minute walk yet you've been accommodating this bullshit for 6 YEARS?!?!?!

And yeah, the fact he has to be driven to and from work like a child is an ick in itself but the fact he gets a rash on his legs from walking less than 2 miles...

My husband commutes to London and back once a week, that’s 5 hours in total. When he’s up here he commutes 1 hour to the office for another 3 hours in total. OPs husband can’t be arsed to get himself home from work once a week and it’s 30 minutes? What a turn off.

WTF it’s half an hour and you have to collect him! He can walk or get an uber.

My 11 year old walks 20/25 mins to school, and the same back, every day in pretty much all weathers. Surely a grown man can manage a 30-45 minute walk occasionally?

Poor little princess, I don’t know how he copes 🙄. I think as long as you communicate in advance that you’re going for drinks on Friday for example, he’ll have to be a grown up and find his own way home.

Agreed.

He is taking the mick! Oh my god. You’re collecting him for a 30 min walk?! Why would he get a leg rash? Walking doesn’t cause rashes. Tell him to use an umbrella at the moment!

This is crazy. He’s a grown man. How does everyone else get home?

We have one car so my husband does a journey like this. The only time I get him is if it’s terrible weather and doesn’t effect kids bedtime etc

I cant believe this is happening ! And you’re only annoyed about it because of drinking.

Absolute madness.

How on earth did this ever become a think? why the hell do you both think this is a reasonable arrangement?

Getting yourself to work and back is what adults do. It doesn't matter how much of a pain, expense and inconvenience it is.

I would LOVE to work a 45 minute walk away from work, listening to podcasts or music, getting exercise, not having to rely on public transport.

You are both being unreasonable, I can't believe you both think this is OK.

A 30 minute walk means it's about a mile and a half which means he could probably cycle it in ten. Unless he has some health reasons for not being able to walk or cycle I think his dependence on you to travel such a short distance is a bit pathetic. Who cares if he's not pleased. You're not pleased about having to go and get him every night.

Stop complaining and put your foot down. A bit of cold and rain won't hurt him.

Buy him a hoop and stick.

Ew. Big sweaty man baby ick. Is he very overweight or just unfit?

Anyway, a 30 min walk is 10 mins on a bike.

Since your update, I would say he is plain lazy. A half hour walk is nothing. My kids from reception age walked that in all weathers. I wouldn't even drive if I could park!

Ridiculous.

😂

How does he get there at the start of his shift? I’m assuming he’s not doing 5x12 hour shifts, so you can’t be dropping him before your 9-5?

What does him ‘not being at all pleased’ look like? Will he get angry with you? Why is at all about what pleases him and not what occasionally pleases you?

I'm guessing not great!

Hates walking in summer ? Nope sorry. I’d be having a glass of wine now and then and let him sort himself out. Ridiculous for him to expect you to collect him every single working day even if you aren’t drinking when it’s a 45 min walk or he could get a cab or cycle of whatever.

He can’t walk half an hour?! Sod him he’s a lazy twat. Open the pinot and crack on.

So he is basically saying his needs come first?

does he need the exercise because it sounds as if he does

Can't he get a bus or a lift off someone? Or stop being a wally and walk or cycle? If he gets that sweaty walking he's probably unfit, it'll do him good.

Presumably there are no taxis where you live?

He could also swap lifts with other colleagues on a Friday. One week you pick both up, the other week their pick up person drops him home and you can pour a glass of wine early.

Oh and 'leg rash' 🤡

Every single night of the week?!?!

Regardless of whether it's a glass of wine, going out with work colleagues or even just getting a bath and changed into pyjamas, why on earth should you have to spend every evening going to collect a fully grown adult from their job less than 2 miles away?!

OP I can't believe you've accommodated this for so long. He either needs a bike, a scooter or a new job. Or worst case scenario (for him) he actually does the walk and realises he's probably not going to die from the heat or rain.

E45 and Sudocrem are good for rashes.

Not being willing to walk 30 mins once a week says everthing you need to know.

No answers yet as to how he GETS to work, nor how the rest of the employees get there either if there's no parking for anyone other than the top dogs.

I want to know this. NOW!!