To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

Getting sweaty is good for him - exercise is essential for everyone. Doesn’t he exercise?

I understand not wanting to arrive at work sweaty (as a result of cycling fast, or running, not an ordinary everyday walk ffs - unless he has a disability of course?). But what’s the issue with arriving home warm?

Maybe if he was a bit fitter he’d find the walk easier. There’s an obvious way to achieve that.

Stop mothering him with daily lifts!
This man needs to get on his bike.... literally!

Yup, it’s this isn’t it.

Honestly OP, sign up to a weekly evening class - just to show yourself that you can.

what are you scared of?

How about agreeing he gets an uber home on Fridays so you can relax after work whether you have a drink or not?! I don’t drink but I’m asleep by 9-9.30 every night due to some recent health issues so it would kill me to have to go back out at that time!

Been thinking about this and I’m actually concerned that it’s a worse situation than it seems. Any sort of normal adult with any typical fitness level would not expect their partner to leave for work early and sit around waiting for him every single evening for the sake of not walking a short distance. Is he controlling in other ways? Are you able to spend money, make weekend plans, have friends? Or does he expect you to be available to whenever and wherever he wants? As this seems insane any way I look at it.

I wouldn't be worrying about this. OP has not come back to clarify lots of questions asked, so I doubt things are exactly as she described.

On a Friday when you want a drink he walks home. Thats the obvious solution. Personally I think you drop him and he walks home every night, unless the weather is really bad.

WOW! this is nuts - i walk an hour home from work with my baby in his buggy no matter the weather no matter if its dark or cold! we wrap up warm and bring wet gear / rain cover

or I cycle with the baby seat on the back in better weather.

it's not that hard

Just because you value other things more than a wind-down drink and/or a relaxing evening doesn't mean everyone has to.

Tell him to buy a bike through cycle to work scheme. No such thing as bad weather just bad clothing. 10 minutes on a bike is not sweat inducing!

Can you not do one on one off ? Then he gets 2 lifts a month ,and you get 2 boozy nights! Surely though Saturday night is fine for some drinkies though.I drink the Elderflower and sparkling water .or a tomato juice dash of Worcester sauce .Or any sort of AF drinks of which there are many!

Sorry but it sounds controlling to me. Of course he can walk sometimes (always), or drive a bit closer. Or buy a bike and cycle in.

How hot is it at 9pm even in the summer? The lazy bugger can walk. It will do him good.

*AnotherHormonalWoman comments like this, "have a non-alcoholic cocktail" "enjoy a lovely non alcoholic drink are so missing the point there. If you want and crave and need that glass of wine at the end of the day but especially at the end of a week, on a Friday- you should be allowed to have one. A "non alcoholic cocktail" just doesn't hit the spot. Crack on drinking your soft drinks if that's what you prefer, but for those of us who enjoy a glass (or bottle- shock horror!) of wine to celebrate the weekend being there, we should be able to without worrying about having to get up and drive out to get a lazy husband.

Omg, what a precious dumpling he is! The lazy bugger needs to learn to use his legs. If they chafe then he could get some of that anti-chafing stuff. Our school run is 30 minutes and my three dc walked it from age 4. Tell him to get a grip and enjoy your glass of wine. If he was single he’d have to sort himself out wouldn’t he.

@PlumDeNomNomNom

prrcisely. OP sounds like she’s on a very slippery slope to me…

@Pardonthegarden

Yes, her partner should come before alcohol. He is more important than a glass of wine. I can’t believe she’s even questioning it tbh.

It’s not about the alcoholic drink is it? It’s the tethering. Resentment has seeped in. Unsurprisingly.

There's nothing wrong with wanting an occasional glass of wine for goodness sake.
Anyway, you're focusing on the wrong thing here. Whether it's a glass of wine or a sparkling soda water, what, she has to be available and pick him up every single night? Is she not allowed any time to herself? Surely there's nothing wrong with say every other Friday not having to schlep out and stay at home watching telly/going out with a friend or whatever.

Cross posted - exactly

@ShowMeTheSea

erm because he doesn’t like walking? So OP should pick him up

She picks him up every night because he "doesn't like walking" come on, that's not reasonable on his part lol.
If he doesn't like walking an Uber or a bus once a month won't hurt him.
I don't like walking either but don't expect DH to pick me up every night. That'd be incredibly tying for him, no night to himself to relax.

What if the OP doesn't like driving at 9 pm five nights a week?

What a ridiculous argument. I don’t like working, should I just expect my partner to take on all the financial burden for our family?