To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

[stripeyrain]

I usually get home around 5 and Dh finishes around 9.
He isn’t allowed to park in his work car park as there is limited space and they are reserved for management.
It’s a sort of business park off a busy intersection so there’s no side roads or parking nearby.

Sometimes (not often) I really feel like coming home especially on a Friday and having a glass of wine while I make dinner but I always have to pick him up later so I can’t have a drink after work with colleagues on the odd occasion they do or with friend.
I was never a big drinker but I do resent having to drive later every night and just never being able to if I fancy ever.
He’s had this job for 6 years now and I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of wine after work, enjoying the last bit of sun of the day (in the summer) I just feel a bit restricted as his chauffeur when that should be my down time and this time of year I’d feel very unreasonable making him walk home in the dark and pouring rain just so I could have a couple of drinks after work but that doesn’t stop me from resenting that I never can.

Bus?

There's anti-chafe cream and/or glidy boxers.

But really a 30min walk would be good for him. Or a bike, even an e-bike...

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to feel frustrated by this. But I also don’t understand why you can’t have one (even two small) glasses of wine, between 5-7, have dinner and then drive at 9. I really don’t think the small amount of alcohol you are suggesting over that long a time period plus eating would put you over the limit.

Lots of places have no public transport access but this isnt relevant to this man because he can park within a 20 min walk according to OP.

People who dont have cars wouldnt work there, lots of people cant take jobs they're offered as they have no transport.

Doing every night is unreasonable ; doing some nights is nice of you and fair!

can he uber home on a Thurs and Fri or if you have option to go out. Collect him other days when you don't mind x

This isn't the point.

Why won't he:
get a cab
walk
cycle
get a bus

Why does @stripeyrain feel it's her responsibility to get him home?

There is absolutely no reason why a man with a rugby player build cannot at least once (if frankly not more) walk home by himself

the sheer selfishness of expecting you to take what 20/30 minutes out of your life having commuted and worked yourself cooked and cleaned go and pick him up!

No she shouldnt do this if she doesnt feel comfortable, why on earth would you suggest something like that rather than the obvious - the bloke walks to the closest parking spot which is around 20 mins

Unbelievable response

And OP has disappeared, probably been sitting outside his husbands work waiting for him to finish.

I would be annoyed doing these relentless late evening picks up regardless of wine.

i think he should try and look into other arrangements to get himself home.

YANBU to find this tiresome and especially to want to get in and relax on a Friday night.

Please don't suggest this when OP is being responsible and sensible. 'Only' one or two is just daft, especially as there are plans to reduce the limit.

YANBU. This is not a fair solution in my eyes. It’s no distance at all to walk in decent weather. Or he can cycle a couple of times a week. Or get an Uber or lift with colleague. I’m surprised there is no parking at all within a 10-15 minute walk though.

Sounds like he needs the exercise and this would take 10 mins by bike!

I think at be the issue. The power dynamic is very off balance for this to have been going on for six fucking years!!!

30 minutes is nothing. If I could walk to work in 30 minutes I would never take the car.

As it is, tell him that you will pick him up on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, but Wednesdays and Fridays (or which ever days you pick) are yours. No debate. He can get an uber or put some talc on his huge thighs.

Im surprised at the people who are surprised theres no parking

I used to work, in London, frontline public sector statutory role, where there was no parking within 20 mins, a mile away. Come rain or shine I had to walk in

Permit holders or yellow lines or parking for 2 hours only and no return.

No parking.

Lots of places outside of London, particularly business parks have no parking at all, which is bizarre because most of them are in the middle of nowhere or off very busy A roads that you couldnt cycle along

Anyway, not OPs problem in my view although she seems to have been taken him by him

And by the way, you really are mothering him too much if the argument for driving him is that if he has to walk he might get a rash.

Tell him to bus it

Alcohol shouldn't really even be the focus of this thread.

Whether the OP wants to spend her evening downing vodka, or reading a book, or chatting to her friends, she shouldn't feel obligated to cut into her personal time every day to pick up the man child from nursery work.

I live "too close" to my work to qualify for a parking space, so walk 45 minutes each way, no matter the weather. Surely he can buy himself a decent coat and waterproof trousers?

He must be able to drive and park nearby. I cant imagine he works on an island where the nearest public street/car park is over 15 minutes walk away from his office.

Who gives a fuck if he gets sweaty. He should be showering every night before bed anyway!

The drinking thing wouldnt personally bother me, id be more annoyed about getting out of my bed to go (im in bed by 8pm all cosy watching TV)

I don’t think the op is coming back

Some days I take my granddaughters to Nursery ( younger was 2 in Jan ) and Reception (was 5 in Dec).10 mins to Nursery, then a further 10 to school. They walk.
In the afternoon I pick up the first age just 2 and we walk on to pick up her sister. Then we all walk back. So, the 2 year old walks back for half an hour. Total in all 10 minutes in the morning and half an hour in the afternoon. ( Or, much longer if we need to paddle in the puddles!)
A grown man can't manage a similar half hour walk! Ye Gods!

To add, I'm doing 40 mins walk in the morning and 40-50 mins in the afternoon. But I'm old enough to remember a time when virtually no one had a car and people did walk a LOT.

He needs to get a grip and do the half an hour walk home occasionally. That really is no big deal, regardless of rain.

I want to know what job he’s in where he’s been working 60 hours a week for the last 6 years and nothing has changed…..