Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I unreasonable in what I said and did at the hospital?

149 replies

yushsisi · 10/02/2026 12:20

I had an appointment today at the hospital. Just for a pre op assesment. When I was finished I went and sat on the edge of a 3 seat of chairs outside the accident and emergency department. I had rung my friend and she was collecting me but as it was raining I chose to wait inside and she said she would call when she was 2 mins away

There was an elderly lady sat on the end of the chairs and as soon as I sat she stood. There's a screen opposite us with bus times and stops and when they are due and where you can get taxis from etc. I assumed she was looking at that.
She came back and stood in front of me and said move, I don't want you sitting there. I looked at her and said excuse me? She said I was taking up too much room and how I was sat upset her. Legs crossed with my bag on my knees playing on my phone just for reference.
I told her I wasn't taking up any room and there was enough space for the other 2 chairs to be used. She flung herself down on the chaid where she was previously sat and did a dramatic sigh and pulled a face and told me I was annoying her and inconveniencing her. I ignored her. She started shouting and screaming and she went to grab me. I put my hand up and she yelled that I assaulted her

At this point I just left. A woman at the reception desk mouthed sorry at me but I honestly don't know whats going on. I wasn't hanging around.
So yeah little more of a dranatic pre op then I expected

OP posts:
WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 10/02/2026 12:22

Probably had mental health or dementia or the start of. They can be a bit crazy.

User0549533 · 10/02/2026 12:23

It honestly sounds like she has dementia with paranoia or anger issues. Probably a good reason she's in hospital.

Wordsmithery · 10/02/2026 12:24

She has MH problems. What's your question exactly?

randomchap · 10/02/2026 12:24

You did nothing wrong, she's probably not well.

IwishIcouldconfess · 10/02/2026 12:27

So what's you AIBU??

IwishIcouldconfess · 10/02/2026 12:28

Total non event

BollyMolly · 10/02/2026 12:29

You were in a hospital, where people are sick and stressed. You just encountered someone who is struggling for some reason and she unfairly directed her stress at you. Forget about it.

BauhausOfEliott · 10/02/2026 12:29

You know full well that you weren't being unreasonable. Clearly the woman was mentally ill, which you also know full well.

TellMeSomethingGoodAboutMrSchuAndHisTightBreeks · 10/02/2026 12:33

I'm so sorry that you had to encounter someone clearly in crisis at a hospital for a few minutes and it mildly inconvenienced you. Sounds tough, hope the apology you recieved from the staff made up for it 💐

MrsHemswoth · 10/02/2026 12:37

Very likely severe mental health issues and nothing you did - saw it a lot when I worked in NHS, and learned not to take it personally

tuvamoodyson · 10/02/2026 12:37

You can’t for a single minute imagine what could be wrong with this lady? Let me see…dementia maybe? MH issue perhaps?

nomas · 10/02/2026 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

nomas · 10/02/2026 12:39

Wordsmithery · 10/02/2026 12:24

She has MH problems. What's your question exactly?

If you can’t see the reason for OP’s post, you shouldn’t be commenting. Learn empathy!

nomas · 10/02/2026 12:40

TellMeSomethingGoodAboutMrSchuAndHisTightBreeks · 10/02/2026 12:33

I'm so sorry that you had to encounter someone clearly in crisis at a hospital for a few minutes and it mildly inconvenienced you. Sounds tough, hope the apology you recieved from the staff made up for it 💐

She wasn’t inconvenienced, she was attacked. You’d be singing a different tune if it was you or your relative.

Sprogonthetyne · 10/02/2026 12:42

Hospitals are the kind of place you are likely to encounter people who are unwell. This lady way clearly one of them, probably either dementia or MH difficulties laike pp have said. While I'm sure it was unpleasant, and definitely not what you'd want when you are poorly yourself, it doesn't sound particularly life changing. Just shrug and move on.

LightYearsAgo · 10/02/2026 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You'd call the police because a woman possibly with mental health problems was a bit funny with you?

That's ridiculous, if she's just a rude old bat it's doubly ridiculous

TellMeSomethingGoodAboutMrSchuAndHisTightBreeks · 10/02/2026 12:43

nomas · 10/02/2026 12:40

She wasn’t inconvenienced, she was attacked. You’d be singing a different tune if it was you or your relative.

Attacked?

The woman said, what? 10 words and sighed.

If it were me I would be aware of my surroundings and the reasons people might be there and simply go about my day without giving it another thought.

If op was actually attacked it would be a different story.

nomas · 10/02/2026 12:48

TellMeSomethingGoodAboutMrSchuAndHisTightBreeks · 10/02/2026 12:43

Attacked?

The woman said, what? 10 words and sighed.

If it were me I would be aware of my surroundings and the reasons people might be there and simply go about my day without giving it another thought.

If op was actually attacked it would be a different story.

Read it again, OP said 'She started shouting and screaming and she went to grab me. I put my hand up and she yelled that I assaulted her'

If it were me I would be aware of my surroundings and the reasons people might be there

Is that what you say to women who are raped by strangers? This is just victim blaming. OP WAS going about her day, taking up one seat in a bank of 3 seats.

yushsisi · 10/02/2026 12:52

Be it mental health or dementia or whatever it is it still doesn't make it ok. If I had treat the elderly woman like that I'd have been completely in the wrong and rightfully so.

I can deal with the sighing and the getting in my face as not nice as it is. I am not going to be grabbed and touched regardless of whatever issues she might have.
Yes I did put my hand up and if she'd have hit or hurt me I would have retaliated. I put my hand up to defend myself.

OP posts:
Goldfsh · 10/02/2026 12:54

Hospitals are stuffed full of people in crisis, particularly older people with cognitive decline. It'll be us one day - so I try to bear this in mind.

Don't think about it any further.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 10/02/2026 12:54

IwishIcouldconfess · 10/02/2026 12:27

So what's you AIBU??

Mine would be why this lady was unaccompanied in a busy hospital department. My mum has advanced dementia and it would be unthinkable to leave her alone like this.

MissMoneyFairy · 10/02/2026 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Have a bit of empathy, why be so unkind.

FlorenceAndTheVagine · 10/02/2026 12:55

yushsisi · 10/02/2026 12:52

Be it mental health or dementia or whatever it is it still doesn't make it ok. If I had treat the elderly woman like that I'd have been completely in the wrong and rightfully so.

I can deal with the sighing and the getting in my face as not nice as it is. I am not going to be grabbed and touched regardless of whatever issues she might have.
Yes I did put my hand up and if she'd have hit or hurt me I would have retaliated. I put my hand up to defend myself.

Oh fgs.

nomas · 10/02/2026 12:56

MissMoneyFairy · 10/02/2026 12:55

Have a bit of empathy, why be so unkind.

Where is your empathy and kindness for OP?

OP was kind to the woman, she didn't hit her back.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/02/2026 12:57

In this case I would’ve and have done ignored someone like this. Maybe spoken to a member of staff to see if they could have a word with her.