Was I unreasonable in what I said and did at the hospital?

[yushsisi]

I had an appointment today at the hospital. Just for a pre op assesment. When I was finished I went and sat on the edge of a 3 seat of chairs outside the accident and emergency department. I had rung my friend and she was collecting me but as it was raining I chose to wait inside and she said she would call when she was 2 mins away

There was an elderly lady sat on the end of the chairs and as soon as I sat she stood. There's a screen opposite us with bus times and stops and when they are due and where you can get taxis from etc. I assumed she was looking at that.
She came back and stood in front of me and said move, I don't want you sitting there. I looked at her and said excuse me? She said I was taking up too much room and how I was sat upset her. Legs crossed with my bag on my knees playing on my phone just for reference.
I told her I wasn't taking up any room and there was enough space for the other 2 chairs to be used. She flung herself down on the chaid where she was previously sat and did a dramatic sigh and pulled a face and told me I was annoying her and inconveniencing her. I ignored her. She started shouting and screaming and she went to grab me. I put my hand up and she yelled that I assaulted her

At this point I just left. A woman at the reception desk mouthed sorry at me but I honestly don't know whats going on. I wasn't hanging around.
So yeah little more of a dranatic pre op then I expected

It's quite difficult to think about what the kindest thing to do is after you have been verbally and physically assaulted. The OP had no responsibility to do anything kind, especially in a state of anxiety.

Many of these replies are concerning. Anyone who poses a threat to other members of the public should be treated as a risk. Whether that person has a mental or physical illness doesn't matter. If this woman did have dementia or other psychiatric illness then she has been let down badly by those in charge of her care.

Op I'm sorry this happened to you but rest assured that you did nothing wrong.

She wasn’t attacked, stop your nonsense.

Don’t be silly. Of course it’s an event. Op was harassed.

This lady has serious issues that a properly working hospital should not ignore. Most likrly, she should have been kept in. But there are no spaces.
You did nothing wrong and hope your surgery goes well OP.

Yes she was. And if this had been a young man instead of an older woman or it had happened to a child you would be calling it an attack. If you don't think screaming at someone and trying to hit them is an attack then I worry for the people around you.

I think it's a lot easier to be sympathetic to a hypothetical scenario like this. The reality would leave most people quite shaken.

I voted YANBU by accident.

You had an interaction with an unwell person at a place where unwell people go. You did the right thing in just leaving but the wrong thing in posting about it here expecting us to condemn the woman.

You and I both know that the OP should not have had to deal with being attacked whilst minding her own business in a hospital waiting area. Why are you underplaying the impact of verbal and physical abuse?

Because this was an elderly woman clearly not in control of her mind. This isn’t someone deliberately abusing someone. And yes it makes a difference.

Assaulted her? OP said that she 'went to grab her' then stopped when OP put up her hand. There are a lot of disturbed patients around in hospitals and the NHS just doesn't have the resources to police all of them.

The woman was clearly mentally unwell, and stopped well short of an actual attack.
And the people around me are quite safe, thank you for your concern (weird though it is!)

Shes clearly just mentally ill. Don't worry yourself about it. You've done nothing wrong. Its sad for her she has to live being that irate all the time

No it doesn't. At the point of attack our brains and bodies don't know that this person "doesn't mean to hurt me". The psychological and physical impact is the same. If the woman had managed to strike OP would she magically not have felt any pain? A drug addict in active usage might also not be in control of their mind - it doesn't mean that their actions don't have real life consequences for the victims of any violence they might commit.

No one is saying that if this woman has dementia, then she should face consequences for her actions. We are saying the OP was not unreasonable to sit where she did, not unreasonable to not move, not unreasonable to expect to not be verbally or physically assaulted and not unreasonable to be shaken up by the encounter.

Are you ok? You can’t seem to see the difference. Like the op.

Ok I've read and taken everything on board. Im not trying to start an argument. No I wouldn't have just randomly gone up to an elderly lady and hit her. However i am not going to sit and be grabbed or pulled. I put my hand up to block her hand and moved backwards. If that hadnt have worked I would have had to defend myself and if that hurt her then sometimes unfortunately that's the result of your behaviour. No it didn't occur to me to think of her mental state. I just wanted to sit and play mindlessly on my phone.

I wasn't in a and e. I was waiting outside it which in our hospital is the only wing where there's pick up parking.

"No it didn't occur to me to think of her mental state. I just wanted to sit and play mindlessly on my phone."

I realise this was an unpleasant experience OP, but surely you've encountered unstable people before? It was a hospital and there are people in crisis there. She obviously was unbalanced - maybe MH issues or dementia.

You did nothing wrong. You should be able to sit down without being attacked. Her mental health situation does not mean she can go round attacking people. People should be able to be safe when waiting in a hospital

I had just had a pre op assesment for an operation where I could lose my remaining sight.
Yes I have met people before.
I didn't want to drip feed because my operation isn't the context of the issue. However understandably so my mind was elsewhere hence the mindless scrolling so I didn't burst into tears in a public setting.

I'm absolutely fine. See the difference in what.

I have never seen so much victim blaming in one place before. What if OP had never experienced a violent unstable person before? I have been in and out of hospital and A&E and I have NEVER been verbally or physically assaulted by another patient nor have I witnessed it happening to anyone else. I am aware that NHS staff, particularly ambulance staff are assaulted at extremely high rates causing stress related absence and burn out, but really the softies should just know that the mentally ill people they encounter aren't hurting them intentionally therefore, they shouldn't be affected by it at all.

I'm really sorry to hear the OP. That must be scary. Please don't worry about people on this thread who can't see things from your perspective. You did nothing wrong. Try and put it behind you.

You did nothing wrong OP, and it is bizarre the length some posters are going to make out you did something awful, or were about to.
You handled it fine, loads better than I would have. I would have pushed the lady away.
I hope your treatment goes well.

Where’s the victim blaming?

I’m sorry to hear that, op.

No I think op would defend herself if another patient physically assaulted her. You seem fine about op being assaulted which is odd. It’s quite normal to defend yourself if you’re being injured and assaulted, definitely not something to be good godding about.