Was I unreasonable in what I said and did at the hospital?

[yushsisi]

I had an appointment today at the hospital. Just for a pre op assesment. When I was finished I went and sat on the edge of a 3 seat of chairs outside the accident and emergency department. I had rung my friend and she was collecting me but as it was raining I chose to wait inside and she said she would call when she was 2 mins away

There was an elderly lady sat on the end of the chairs and as soon as I sat she stood. There's a screen opposite us with bus times and stops and when they are due and where you can get taxis from etc. I assumed she was looking at that.
She came back and stood in front of me and said move, I don't want you sitting there. I looked at her and said excuse me? She said I was taking up too much room and how I was sat upset her. Legs crossed with my bag on my knees playing on my phone just for reference.
I told her I wasn't taking up any room and there was enough space for the other 2 chairs to be used. She flung herself down on the chaid where she was previously sat and did a dramatic sigh and pulled a face and told me I was annoying her and inconveniencing her. I ignored her. She started shouting and screaming and she went to grab me. I put my hand up and she yelled that I assaulted her

At this point I just left. A woman at the reception desk mouthed sorry at me but I honestly don't know whats going on. I wasn't hanging around.
So yeah little more of a dranatic pre op then I expected

This is a hypothetical situation. The old woman made a grab at OP and stopped when OP held her hand up and stepped back. Nothing else happened. The receptionist was watching and would have called Security if the situation had escalated. But it didn't.

Yes, that's common assault. I wasn't saying she beat OP black and blue, but grabbing someone is an assault, even if you don't manage to do so, making your target anticipate it as she did, is still assault.

It’s disgusting, isn’t it? And these people really think they can convince us that they’re kind.

Do you even know what hypothetical means?

I do indeed.

So explain how the situation was hypothetical?

Yes, as if OP was going to be doing an armchair assessment of this woman's mental state. If you're attacked, you defend yourself.

We also don't know if she had dementia or was just purely unpleasant and entitled.

Sounds like dementia.

The post OP made suggested a situation where, if the woman had hit her, OP would have retaliated. That didn’t happen. So hypothetical.

Just a nutter. Ignore.

That’s not what the poster is calling hypothetical. Read her post again.

This is a hypothetical situation. The old woman made a grab at OP and stopped when OP held her hand up and stepped back. Nothing else happened.

And just as many posters, if not more, trying to convince us that faced with the same situation with this elderly woman, it really wouldn’t cross their minds that there was any sort of mental illness, or dementia, responsible for their behaviour ? They would jump straight to entitled and batshit. Don’t make me laugh.

Exactly. She was replying to the previous poster who said You seem fine about op being assaulted which is odd. It’s quite normal to defend yourself if you’re being injured and assaulted.. Hypothetical situation -. OP was neither injured or assaulted - she held up her hand when the woman went to grab her. OP’s post went on to describe what she would have done had she been physically assaulted.

My post was replying to another posters hypothetical situation that the Op would have been fine with assaulting the woman if she assaulted OP. And I said well it would be self defence. And no need for the ‘good god’ as if it would be appalling of the OP to defend herself

but i am a bit confused because of all the hypothetical situations

Everyone seems to be ignoring the fact that the other woman was loudly claiming that OP had attacked her. That on itself would be really disturbing. And if the receptionist hadn't witnessed what happened, OP would be having a lot of explaining to do.

There's a remarkable absence of empathy or even imagination, in this thread. People are sitting in their comfy homes, apparently unable to imagine how they'd really feel, if it out of the blue, someone behaved like this woman, made to attack them, and then screamed that they were the assailant.

I think you will find when people have dementia or similar then it’s managed eye differently, the fact the lady mouthed sorry to the op indicates rhey are aware this elderly lady has potential capacity limitations. As she was at rhe hospital she likely has medical records which show capacity limitations.

thid whole scenario is very different to someone with capacity and younger behaving in this manner. It’s no different if it was a child with capacity limitations behaving the same, its not pleasant but we should all hopefully have the mental ability to not start fighting elderly people or small children in the street.

1. We actually have no idea if this woman had dementia. There is an assumption that she had dementia but we do not know.
2. It is also unlikely that a hospital receptionist working in a busy A&E would have knowledge of someone's medical diagnoses. She likely apologised in a "I'm sorry that happened to you" way. Not in a "I know that woman and her medical condition and I'm sorry that we haven't managed it well"
3. Very few people in flight or fight mode can think rationally about the motivations of the person attacking them. And neither should they. They she be focussed on getting away from a potentially dangerous situation.
4. Lumping children and old people together in an untouchable, incapacitated category is insulting to both. In the vast majority of case both children and old people are more than capable of controlling their actions. Not all old people who behave badly have dementia. An elderly man once asked my mum the time at a bus stop. She was 8 months pregnant carrying two loads of laundry. She said she didn't know because she didn't have a watch on. He called her a stuck up bitch and punched her in the stomach. He didn't have dementia. He was a prick. Funnily enough, young arseholes grow up to be old arseholes.
5. If this woman DID have dementia and was witnessed being violent towards a member of the public, the hospital have a duty of care towards both the elderly woman and the other patients to remove her from the situation and hold her in a place of safety.

I mean, obviously mental health. I would just move on. Not really thread worthy.

Goodness you’re really invested.

And

you took the time to read and comment on the thread though? 😂

if someone verbally assaults someone and goes to grab someone, regardless of the 'mental health' (and there's no proof that's the case here) it can shake someone up.

women are now being conditioned to be quiet, not mention and actually assume the person has mental health problems. What sort of message does that send young girls. Be quiet if someone attacks you honey! They might be having a menty b!

Or maybe she’s just horrible??

It wasn't anything you did OP, clearly she has something going on and you got the brunt of it. I would be upset too but try not to give it to much head space,it really wasn't you.

Yup - non event