AGAIN - Nursery worker found guilty [CONTENT WARNING: Details of CSA]

[AliceAbsolum]

https://www.whitchurchherald.co.uk/news/national/25838680.nursery-worker-guilty-multiple-sexual-offences-children-care/

Seriously when are they going to ban men from nurseries? I don't care if some other innocent men have to find other jobs.

It makes me feel so sick, I can't even comprehend it.

[title edited by MNHQ to include content warning]

If we really want to limit child SA parents that separate should be banned from having subsequent relationships until their children are adult. The most common perpetrators of child abuse is a step parent with step fathers being more of an issue than step mothers due to increased access!

as for more male sex offenders in prison than female… part of that is that’s it’s much more difficult to get a conviction against a woman than a man because women are seen as caregivers and people can’t possibly comprehend them doing such things…. Just look at this thread where people claim a women can’t rape children… they can. They do. Put getting people to believe it…. Infinitely harder than the same being said of a man

Personally I think strict safeguarding rules that have to be obeyed is a better way of preventing harm.

It would be a good idea to apply it to prisons as well. Why men are allowed to work in the female estate - quite contrary to what Elizabeth Fry said should be done - or women in the male estate (numerous scandals) I do not know. But like allowing toilets to be cleaned by the opposite sex it needs to stop. I am sorry if this narrows employment opportunities for some women/men, but just stop it.

I think if you asked every parent of a child under 16 if their child were lost, injured or vulnerable in some way would you rather a man or woman found your child, no other information just man or woman, I absolutely believe a HUGE majority would say woman.

Statistically far, far less likely.

The answer here is proper staffing and rigorous safeguarding procedures which mean no staff member (male or female) is left alone with children. But in several years of working in several nurseries this is unlikely to happen. There isn't enough staff to cover and nurseries can't afford to pay for more.
I'm a childminder now and I work with my husband. We are always full with a waiting list. I know several other 'childminder couples' too. I would find it really hurtful if someone said they didn't trust my husband with their child.

What threat is there with women that there isn’t with men?

I could hazard a guess from their subsequent nonsensical & inappropriate posts .

Just look at this thread where people claim a women can’t rape children… they can. They do.

They can’t. Rape requires a penis.

I run a holiday club for older children and there is absolutely no way anyone would ever be alone with one child. It's drilled into all staff that if a child needs help with personal care you take 2 members of staff AND leave the door ajar. If someone saw a member of staff going off on their own with a child, that would be stopped, reported and taken really seriously. I can't understand how this isn't the case at all childcare settings from birth to 18 but imagine understaffing comes into it. At our setting we are all in one room and the toilets are off that room.

On the other hand we once had a parent turn up and request a refund because all the staff members happened to be male that day. I do think that was unfair on us as a company because we hadn't advertised as a club with definitely female staff so by all means don't let her attend but if you are wanting a club with female staff you should check that before hand like you'd check anything.

Rather than ban men I'd like to see nurseries built as one room with waist height dividers/stair gates and the toilets directly off that room. Nappy changes to take place in the corner of the main room. I wouldn't send my child to a nursery with lots of little rooms.

I wouldn’t have my nursery-age child in a setting with male care workers. I’m sure that makes me all sorts of things but when it comes to my kids’ safety I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of me 🤷‍♀️ It’s not worth the risk to me.

In the UK, rape involves a penis. Women do not rape. They may sexual assault but they don’t rape.

Statistically, men are far more likely to sexually abuse than women.

Women may come close to male rates when it comes to physical harm, but they spend far, far longer in sole charge of a child. They are far more likely to be managing a DC with special needs, and far more likely to be in charge of a child while ill themselves.

So fuck off with the ‘women are awful too’, nonsense.

It’s whatabouttery, it’s totally dismissive of the crimes we are talking about. Shame on every poster who has come on to defend the poor men.

Yes - we’ve had issues with care homes in Fife.

Rather than ban men I'd like to see nurseries built as one room with waist height dividers/stair gates and the toilets directly off that room. Nappy changes to take place in the corner of the main room. I wouldn't send my child to a nursery with lots of little rooms.

This was effectively what the nursery my DC attended was like. It was purpose built and parents were allowed on site at any time for as long as they liked.

Ultimately it comes down to lack of early years funding in this country.

This is one of the reasons why I only do 2 days a week at work, so my dd can be looked after by her father.

I don’t trust nurseries at all, or childminders.

Apologies I stand corrected. Women can only sexually assault not technically rape.

As someone who was sexually assaulted as a child by a woman I had always categorised that act as Rape as it involved penetration (though obviously without a penis). I think the default setting should be that ALL people are a potential risk. If we treat everyone that way and have systems in place to prevent opportunities THAT is how we reduce occurrence.

Every single thread that has "here's an idea to prevent untold amounts of children being raped" brings out the "women are bad too" people.

Who, in their right mind, looks at the idea of keeping men away from vulnerable and non verbal children so they can't rape them and dismisses it because they know a good man who works in childcare.

What percentage of risk are you willing to take with your child being raped? 5%? 10%? What statistic would stop you in your tracks and think it's probably not a good idea to have a man disproportionately more likely to be a paedophile near your kid?

I know. It's mind boggling

It’s wild. It happens on pretty much every thread where violence against women and girls tries to be discussed. Out come the Not My Nigel’s, Not All Men and Women Do It Too. Now on sexual abuse against children. If those things are the first thought that enters your head you have seriously warped priorities.

Women obviously are capable of causing harm but it’s a matter of fact that men are statistically the more dangerous sex class. Vastly so.

Semantics. A woman can violate another person using myriad objects, which is be just as damaging as rape with a penis.

I was just thinking this. The shaming and sneering and accusations of ‘pearl clutching’ coming from some on these threads to mum’s who are concerned is shocking.

And some want to encourage young men to go into nursery work or other care work with vulnerable clients. We know for a fact, vulnerability WILL be exploited by some men.

This is my job/vocation and I completely agree with you.

The moment certain people hear that a man has a job in a care home, he seems to be automatically beatified. At least ask the people he works with, and the people he cares for, before you decide he's the best thing since sliced bread.

Not everyone in a care role is suitable to be there, and I have had many colleagues I wouldn't trust with my cat, never mind my grandad with dementia. I document my concerns but it's an understaffed sector.

I read this article from an undercover reporter in a care home last week. This could be happening in a home near you. It's not happening in mine because my manager is at least shit-hot on safeguarding residents from sexual abuse, and men do NOT do women's intimate care. But that's clearly not industry standard, is it?

During my time in the home, I often found residents lying in wet clothes or on soiled sheets.
I heard women screaming from behind closed doors because male carers were doing their intimate care.

The impact of overstretched staff was clear.
They had had a tick list of tasks to complete and often that was too long to include meaningful engagement, support with eating or unhurried continence care.

This.

How many women have been found drugging and assaulting children like the man in his 70s who was jailed last week? IT DOESN'T HAPPEN.

saying women are a risk too isn’t taking away the fact men are more of a risk it’s acknowledging that they aren’t the only risk. Because saying getting rid of men gets rid of risk is a dangerous position. Have really robust safeguarding that protects from everyone.

a car is more likely to kill you if you get hit than a motorcycle but you wouldn’t ban cars and then say it’s fine just cross the road… you treat it all as a risk and have procedures and ways of crossing the road to do all you can to prevent getting hit.