To bring up a colleagues sexual assault at work

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OK so its a weird question I know and prob very obvious answer but just checking...
I recently read an article in a national newspaper and it was about a lady who had waived her right to anonymity in order to name her attacker. I was shocked and saddened to realise I know the girl (she was both named and photographed). I work in the same company and often deal directly with her albeit mostly over microsoft teams, we are similar age so we are friendly and would chat away at the coffee dock but def not friends outside of work. Tomorrow we will be onsite at an event together and if we have a moment just the 2 of us, do I say to her "I'm was so sorry to read about what you experienced" or just keep my mouth shut?
I don't want her to think that I don't care or don't believe her if i say nothing, but then I don't want to make uncomfortable or upset at work.

This is the approach I would take tbh, she’s incredibly brave and deserves to know that people admire her for that

well if she went to a national newspaper i assume she must be Happy to discuss it

Assuming this is the case that's been in the news recently, I think I would want to just tell her how amazing and brave she is, given that you're friendly. She'll almost certainly know that you know, since its been headline news, particularly in the area.

It’s socially inept to bring up something like this. Even if it was in the newspaper it’s something about her private life that there is a good chance she does not want to discuss at work

The story has been national news, I'm not sure that she 'went to the paper' so much as will have been approached for an interview since she'd waived her right to anonymity.

No wonder there can be such a stigma about certain things if people are told to keep their mouth shut when all they want to do is show support for someone who has been through something horrific.

I wrote an article for my work on something that happened to me that was very distressing and horrible but I did so to raise awareness and break the stigma. I was overjoyed when people came up to me to say they'd read it and we could talk openly about something very sensitive and upsetting.

If she's given an interview to a newspaper then I would absolutely say she'd be open to you saying something about it.

Their relationship is not strictly work, they're friendly and if she wanted to keep it private she wouldn't have don't an interview. Clearly she wanted it to be public, Good for her, she deserves support from her friends.

There are very good reasons why she gave an interview, im not going to go into detail in case it identifies her, but i would think she felt she had to and was brave enough to not remain silent. We are not in the UK just fyi

This. I think people are missing the point that she chose to relinquish her anonymity and give an interview to a national newspaper, which is a really courageous thing to do. She will be well aware that people she knows will read it.

What about a wee card. I read the article and here if you ever need support or a chat x

Say nothing. You have no idea how the mention of this at work will make her feel, or how she will react.

I would say nothing unless she mentions it

I think you can and should mention it but rather than coming from a place of pity, I'd go for something more like "I saw your interview, I'm so proud of you and think it helps other people in the same situation".

It doesn't have to be a whole song and dance about it but I feel like ignoring it and sweeping it under the carpet smacks a bit of shame and your own embarrassment. She's waived her anonymity on purpose.

And then you can move onto whatever it is you're doing at work.

I would bring it up 1:1, and say something. It’s in the public domain, so she has braved being exposed. I would have thought it a good thing for her to experience positivity from the choice, rather than avoidance (or worse, negative).

just pick your moment well, as I’m sure you would.

I wouldn’t say anything at work. She may well be putting a brave face on, going into “work mode” to hold it together. If you take her out of work mode, she might find it difficult.

A colleague of mine lost her Dad last week. She’s coming back to work tomorrow and has sent a message asking us not to mention it.

When I had a miscarriage I was OK at work until people said “sorry to hear about your miscarriage”. Then I’d cry.

Do not bring it up. Carry on as normal.

Do not mention it. You know her through work, you're not a close personal friend who she has spoken to about it, it's for her to bring up not for other people to start talking about to her. You're feelings are kind and right but you don't need to vocalise them to her, she's a SA victim and talking of it may be triggering.

Mentally preparing for then giving an interview in a safe space is different than having it brought up in conversation, as much as you admire her bravery. If she brings it up somehow that is the moment for you to say you saw the interview and offer her your words etc.

I don't think there's anything wrong with mentioning it - she'll know people have seen it and it may be a relief for someone to actually talk about it rather than just avoiding it. Rather than saying you're sorry, I think it's better to say you admire her for what she did. Don't say the word 'brave' though please.

Sometimes people tell their story because a paper will publish it anyway with just enough detail to be identifiable, and they would rather own it. In other words, it's not much of a choice.

Not saying this is the case here, but it could be.

I would say something brief along the lines of you admire her waiving her anonymity as it humanises her experience which is powerful and could help others. As she has gone public I think it’s appropriate to show solidarity.

Be careful when you bring it up, if you do. It may still be very raw and upsetting and if she gets tearful and emotional it could be very embarrassing for her if she then has to try to carry on working.

They'd be in contempt of court then - papers aren't permitted to publish detail that would inadvertently identify the individual.

I'm in Ireland - when survivors of assault tell their stories, it's a definite decision where they waive anonymity, and choose to make a statement to the media and sometimes further interviews.

This is how abuse of women is hidden all the time. It's upsetting to talk about it. We mustn't mention it.

Not sure what I would do, so giving no advice. Just saying sexual assault is very frequent and we should stop being polite about it and the men who perpetrate it.

It's entirely appropriate to mention it and offer support and acknowledgement of what she has done.

She has chosen to bring it into the public arena, which is massively commendable and brave. I think ignoring it is far worse (but then again, I'm in Ireland, it's more likely that we will raise personal matters here than in the UK - which can be good or bad ...)

If she's spoken publicly then it's very unlikely that it's a completely raw subject - she'll have given quite an extensive interview, perhaps with follow ups and it's likely others will have contacted her to talk about it too. There is far too much silence around sexual assault.