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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DD should get the rail replacement bus

206 replies

WrongKindOfWaterOnTheTrack · 09/02/2026 09:41

DD goes to college in a city about 40 miles away from our home. Lots of kids from our area do as the college in town doesn’t have a great reputation. The city college also actively recruited, taking DD & the rest of her set to open days to talk about their Oxbridge scheme etc.

the commute is usually about 10 min drive to the station, and about 1h15 on the train. However the trainline is now in its 3rd week of closure due to flooding. This happened last year and actually also earlier this year, and sometimes DD has taken the replacement bus, but she hates it. She says she can’t get any work done, it takes much longer than the train does, & I think she finds the uncertainty stressful (it’s not clear always what times the buses will go or whether there will be space for everyone). She hasn’t gone into college once during this current closure.

It is true that the bus takes even longer than the usual commute would do, and I think she enjoys having time to fit in exercise etc without spending so much time on the commute. She is also conscientious and I think is doing all the work at home. But I feel surely she should be going to college, she can’t miss weeks on weeks of lessons?! I feel when she chose the college miles away, she chose the harder option travel wise & should be committed to the travel…

AIBU?

OP posts:
Jarstastic · 10/02/2026 14:28

I guessed which part of the world this is. This is absolutely outrageous it has been going on so long. Underinvestment for years.

I agree with you and it's too much like comfort, but given the amount of time and where your daughter is in Y13 and college is happy with it, I'd let it go and let her focus. Though if you/other parents can get them in sometimes via car, I'd do that.

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/02/2026 00:03

Whenindoubthugitout · 10/02/2026 11:18

No they would not!

bloody hell - snowstorm of 2010, I walked to and from work for a week. It was 4 miles each way and it took 2 hours. There was not an option to not go in.

i seriously worry about this bloody country.
we are raising people who have no resilience, no aptitude for thinking out of the box, and so centred around one’s own self and comfort - that they have no recognition of who they impact on others.

i bet the bloody teacher has made it in every day!

Since Covid and 2020 where people had to work at home and actually managed to do work - a lot of offices are more flexible about wfh now

StrawberryJamAndRaspberryPie · 11/02/2026 13:30

Whenindoubthugitout · 10/02/2026 11:18

No they would not!

bloody hell - snowstorm of 2010, I walked to and from work for a week. It was 4 miles each way and it took 2 hours. There was not an option to not go in.

i seriously worry about this bloody country.
we are raising people who have no resilience, no aptitude for thinking out of the box, and so centred around one’s own self and comfort - that they have no recognition of who they impact on others.

i bet the bloody teacher has made it in every day!

It’s not 2010 anymore and if you are able to do your job online now (obvs if you can’t do it online they won’t let you) then they let you In scenarios like this. FFS in 2010 I was still in school uniform and now I’m in my 30s.

Needmorelego · 11/02/2026 15:35

@Whenindoubthugitout 2 hours to walk to work !
I would have taken a sleeping bag and slept in the staff room if it was a job that really needed you to be there.

CypressGrove · 12/02/2026 03:52

Fodencat · 10/02/2026 08:44

Yes I’m fully aware of that. My youngest son does hybrid working. The point I’m making is that sometimes young people need to learn some resilience.

I really don't see how sitting on a bus for four hours builds resilience in life, and I'm sure the OPs daughter has had many opportunities to develop resilience in ways that are actually useful - like how to successfully transition from on-site learning to at-home learning..
I often help with graduate recruitment at work where we give the potential graduates a range of problems to solve - if the problem was 'your transport to college has increased to 5 hours a day but your college allows you to study from home, how do you adjust', the ones that answer 'oh I'd still go in every day' would be the first to be culled!

Ponderingwindow · 12/02/2026 04:38

Given what you describe of the backup bus situation, I think you should be helping her with transportation.

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