To think DD should get the rail replacement bus

[WrongKindOfWaterOnTheTrack]

DD goes to college in a city about 40 miles away from our home. Lots of kids from our area do as the college in town doesn’t have a great reputation. The city college also actively recruited, taking DD & the rest of her set to open days to talk about their Oxbridge scheme etc.

the commute is usually about 10 min drive to the station, and about 1h15 on the train. However the trainline is now in its 3rd week of closure due to flooding. This happened last year and actually also earlier this year, and sometimes DD has taken the replacement bus, but she hates it. She says she can’t get any work done, it takes much longer than the train does, & I think she finds the uncertainty stressful (it’s not clear always what times the buses will go or whether there will be space for everyone). She hasn’t gone into college once during this current closure.

It is true that the bus takes even longer than the usual commute would do, and I think she enjoys having time to fit in exercise etc without spending so much time on the commute. She is also conscientious and I think is doing all the work at home. But I feel surely she should be going to college, she can’t miss weeks on weeks of lessons?! I feel when she chose the college miles away, she chose the harder option travel wise & should be committed to the travel…

AIBU?

I voted YABU.

Over 4 hours commute a day for college is taking the piss. Sounds like she is doing ok with her work?

Also the problem of there not being enough room on the bus is a real possibility. Especially a problem if she gets stuck trying to get back.

She should at least go for half the week

I work in a College. Not your daughter's I don't think. Having students work online is not easy for tutors, especially if they are trying to cope with half the class on-line and half in lessons. I really think that the College think what your daughter is doing is reasonable, otherwise they'd be telling her to get herself in if she doesn't want her attendance to get too low and get kicked off her course!

How has she fallen at the first hurdle? She's doing her studies in a way her college supports without wasting 5 hours a day on a pointless commute. Most work places these days prefer people to come up with good solutions to problems rather than inefficient ones.

I think Huish in Taunton does?

The kid is in Year 13. She only has a few months left. How is it you assume it's 'the first hurdle'?

There is no suggestion she isn't getting the work done or is failing her subjects in any way. She can't really be assumed to be 'falling' either can she? It would be more accurate to say she has found an efficient way to tackle the hurdle. Why should she choose to do it the hard way?

Maybe not every day, but it is wrong not to be going in at all.

As someone who has worked in colleges for years, I would say that the work she can do at home does not even slightly compare with what she would do in college. I’m amazed that her college are setting work and marking her present rather than finding a more appropriate online option for her to attend virtually. That’s poor form.

In year 13 attendance is strongly linked to achievement. She needs to be discussing the work she’s doing to embed the concepts and link through to her prior knowledge. She’s risking her next steps and success by not attending.

A week of missing college would be enough. She’s got to bite the bullet and get in now. Regardless of how unpleasant the journey.

There are very few residential colleges in the UK. Generally in rural areas. Residency is set up at the start of the academic year for those under 18 because of stringent safeguarding procedures. It’s not an ad hoc system.

Today the 6.45 bus was cancelled, the students waiting for the 7.22 were told it wasn’t going to go until 7.55. Then it suddenly went at 7.25 after all, without all students being able to fit on. This is for the ‘express’ bus that goes via the motorway, not stopping. Meanwhile at one of the stations down the line all morning buses cancelled, meaning students cant get to college until 11am.

it’s absolutely ridiculous, such an underinvestment in rural education and rural transport. And I live in the 3rd biggest settlement in my county!!!

Completely agree.

Around us there are school/small 6th forms closing every academic year, citing the government's desire that all students attend specialist post 16 provision.

For many/most students that means really really long journeys on unreliable and infrequent public transport, to study A levels in really large classes and as there is no where near enough physical space to accommodate them they have to spend free periods and breaks wandering the town -getting wet and cold and tired in the process.

There are almost no options for students who don't want to travel for hours to attend the only college - unless you pay for private.

The daughter chose this college knowing how long the commute was though.

she didn't know about the rerplacement bus service.

And also, although this isn’t the case for my DD, this is the only option if you want to study French or Spanish A level - hardly niche subjects! There are probably other A levels only offered here. I genuinely can’t think of any of my DD’s friends who went to the town college, except those studying for apprenticeships.

If you read the OP’s posts, she says that the teachers are providing online links to join the lessons remotely, or providing recordings. Setting work where this isn’t possible, but it sounded from the OP like there were quite a lot of the recordings / remote teams links. So they are finding “more appropriate online options”. Must be v hard for the teachers, but they are doing what they can.

It’s a bad situation but sounds like she’s working diligently and hard, and hopefully won’t be for too much longer.

Because we have to crack on with life don’t we. To just not turn up is irresponsible.

Me and my husband simply wouldn’t put up with our son deciding he wasn’t going to college because he didn’t fancy the journey. What does that teach young people about the future?

College is giving them a choice due to travel issues of a 2.5hr commute or wfh. She's chosing wfh. Like any sensible person would. If it's not impacting her attendance and she's doing the work then what is the problem?

If she had a job, it would be a different scenario, she might face consequences, but maybe a job would allow WFH for a time. If she is still doing the work, that shows a level of maturity, a willingness to not slack off and that’s a good thing.

There’s a long time for her to have to join the adult world of working and everything being shit, there is no need to turn her into a worker drone just yet.

My 16 year old chooses whether she is going to school or classes in school based on what suits her on any given day. 95% of the time she chooses to go, but sometimes she isn’t able. She already has her conditional offer for uni in 2027, and is on target to get all As in her highers. I have never forced her to go to school. If she was unwell we’d talk about her day and how she would deal with it, what would be best for her overall. Most often she would decide to go. The lift at school broke last week. After a day of sitting in the library at school doing work sent on teams, she decided the following day she would stay at home. I wasn’t about to force her to go in with some old trope about how in 10 years’ time she’s be forced to go to a job or the world would end.

These are young people facing adulthood, they have to be allowed to make some decisions and feel the consequences. Letting them have autonomy over decisions like this is a great way for them to learn.

In the future I'd imagine even more things we be done online than even in 2026, so doing college remotely sets her up well for the future.

What if there was a sinkhole on the route that you couldn't go round?

What if there was 6 ft snow up to the door?

I bet there is a degree of difficulty you would succumb to....

You don't seem to understand that the weather has caused huge disruption and large parts of the country have lost their rail services and that replacement buses accommodate far less people far less frequently and take twice as long?

Yes I’m fully aware of that. My youngest son does hybrid working. The point I’m making is that sometimes young people need to learn some resilience.

But she's not just "not turning up". College is aware and she's doing work set.
Turning up 1 or 2 hours late (which would be the case if she caught the bus) is also irresponsible. Actually I'm very surprised that, since the OP is so keen on her DD attending college, that she is not supporting her to get there. There sounds like a lot of students in the same situation - surely parents could get together and take it in turns to provide lifts (possibly to an alternate public transport terminus)?

Yes I do understand that adverse weather can cause all sorts of travel problems. This isn’t the case here though is it. It’s the fact that the bus takes too long.

Do sixth form colleges have halls?