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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

392 replies

Meg878o · 09/02/2026 07:18

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

OP posts:
Namechangetheyarewatching · 09/02/2026 12:29

Don't be a cement mixer mouth!!

Which is what we used to say if someone chewed with their mouth open...noone wants to see that

Hairissueshelp · 09/02/2026 12:31

If your parents can't tell you then who will?
You smell, you have bad manners, your hair looks a mess, your nails are dirty, your shoes need cleaning, you are being a brat, your tantrums are childish, your chewing is loud and annoying and can be heard by others.
Your parents are supposed to tell you these things so you can go out in the world and present yourself in public, navigate social situations and be self aware.

QuietPiggy · 09/02/2026 12:40

Being able to eat without annoying other people is an important social skill.

Shakeyourwammyfannyfunkysong · 09/02/2026 13:03

theonlyonestillawake · 09/02/2026 07:25

My DH would tell DS this. Especially if they were chewy sweets. He's quite intolerant to slurpy, chompy slapping of lips. And I get it. It's gross.

Sometimes kids get told things they don't want to hear.. That's parenting.

Why was he sitting in the back? Did a different child get to sit in the front? Do your kids often rule the roost a bit and get offended when told off?

Sometimes kids get told things they don't want to hear.. That's parenting

I think many parents are terrified of telling their kids things they don't want to hear these days though. Therein lies the problem ...

BlackCatDiscoClub · 09/02/2026 13:05

If I were tbe detective on this case my questions would be:
Was she, in fact, chewing loudly?
And what tone did DH use? Was it dark and menacing, loud and shouty, or a bit miffed?

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 09/02/2026 13:07

Of course it’s fine for your parents to say this. How else will children learn? This is a horrible habit.

Justmyopinionbut · 09/02/2026 13:07

It's a bit grim...better coming from her dad and learning from it than from a friend and being embarrassed...

Kelz40 · 09/02/2026 13:08

Living in a house full of people who hate the sound of chewing loudly, you catch on pretty quickly to eat quietly so as not to upset anyone! Lol!
To be honest, if someone was chewing gum really loudly near me, I think I’d lose it! I can hear my grandad telling me when I was a kid, ‘stop smacking your lips!!’

katepilar · 09/02/2026 13:10

I think everyone deserves to be asked or told politely if they are doing something like loud chewing in the heat of the moment. If she was an adult with the habit of doing so and ignoring the polite requests then fair enough. A child deserves a reminder in a descent manner though.

FreyaW · 09/02/2026 13:13

If she was chewing loudly im my ear, I'd say the same.

Skyflyinghigh · 09/02/2026 13:13

I assume she is his daughter too? If so he has as much right to chastise her as you do. Noisy eating is awful and she has to learn

MyLittleNest · 09/02/2026 13:15

Do you never correct her behavior? I mean, THIS was upsetting enough to take to mumsnet and write a post about it? He simple asked her to stop doing something. You are overreacting terribly and I question your parenting for the past 11 years.

Skybluepinky · 09/02/2026 13:16

That she needs to learn to chew with her mouth closed, she is upset as he won’t be the first person that has mentioned it.

BeWittyRobin · 09/02/2026 13:16

Oh my word, are you being serious?!

Sounds like she was eating with her mouth open and that should have been addressed at a much younger age. Manners don’t cost a thing. I absolutely would have said something myself if my child was chewing sweets loudly. But for you to feel angry or upset because your husband addressed what he was having to endure?! Really?! X

Manthide · 09/02/2026 13:16

I suffer from misophonia and I can't stand loud eating noises. My 4dc quickly learned to eat properly- alas exdh never did! Surely dh was just being a parent, unless it was followed by an unreasonable punishment (confiscation of sweets if loud chewing persisted would be reasonable)

ALJT · 09/02/2026 13:18

The sound of chewing puts a horrible knot in my stomach I can’t even explain. I can’t be around loud eaters absolutely not

Emmz1510 · 09/02/2026 13:18

As someone who detests noisy eating, I’m with her dad.

Wittyapple · 09/02/2026 13:22

I would of said something too, I hate noisy chewing.

It's hardly something to be offended by. Doesn't seem like a big deal to me, unless there is a massive backstory coming.

DottyLottieLou · 09/02/2026 13:23

Complete over reaction...from you. Is she your little princess.

Shufflebumnessie · 09/02/2026 13:27

YABU. I'm going to assume that if your DH could hear the chewing over the noise of the car/roads, then it was probably pretty loud.
Loud chewing/eating is horrible to listen to, especially if you can't remove yourself from the situation.

Lifealittleboulder · 09/02/2026 13:27

Oh man I want to live in a world where this
is all that’s troubling me…

mummybear35 · 09/02/2026 13:27

At 11, she should really already know how to eat quietly with her mouth closed? I can’t bear people chewing their food (or gum! 😒) like a cow chewing grass! He’s trying to teach her manners in private before she makes a fool of herself in public, why would it upset you? If it upsets her, she won’t chew so loudly again, job done?

thirdfiddle · 09/02/2026 13:27

He's a parent too and is as qualified as you to decide if she's chewing unnecessarily loudly or not. More qualified in this case as he was sitting next to her and you weren't.

If you think he's made a mistake and it's him being oversensitive to normal noise levels, have a quiet word with him when kids aren't around. He may have a different perspective.

I know I'm quite sensitive to noise so have a high threshold for complaining e.g. if I see one of the kids taking obviously too big mouthfuls or eating with their mouths open.

When they're older, people who aren't their parents probably won't tell them they're being a bit gross in their manners, if they are - they'll just avoid them because they're a bit gross. I'd rather we tell them.

PinkArt · 09/02/2026 13:34

I'm with DH - the sound of other people chewing makes me feel physically sick. It's really unpleasant & while I can't say something to randoms on the tube who are eating or chewing gum, I'd like to think I could to family.

Tillow4ever · 09/02/2026 13:35

Congrats on the new daughter OP. I saw previously you had all sons. But then you also couldn’t seem to remember if you’d been together 13 years or 15.

I don’t know if you’re changing details for anonymity, but probably wise to keep the changes the same across all threads. Also, it seems you have other issues going on. But you also said previously that you are a gentle parenting style person whereas your husband shouts a lot. That would suggest your husband is in the right on this occasion, of course kids need telling off sometimes. Now if he screamed and yelled at her in the back of the car, that’s different - but it would be about his style, not about him telling her off.

Has he got a new job yet, or is he the one mostly in charge of the kids? From your previous comments about your boys hating being left with him, I can imagine tensions are running high so this one thing is the latest in a list of things you don’t agree with.