Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

[Meg878o]

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

Was she chewing with her mouth open ?
If that was the case she absolutely needs to know not to do that .

Your reaction is definitely an over-reaction. He said nothing wrong, even if it was in an irritated tone. Do the children regularly do this?

Can anyone actually chew sweets quietly?
I know I can't.
That said I don't eat them within close distance of anyone.

Parents need to remind their children about their manners quite often when they are young. How else do they learn?

Your husband is not the problem here.

The problem is that you apparently think your 11yo daughter should not be given the slightest bit of negative feedback or criticism, even when her behaviour is having a negative impact on others, in case it “offends”.

In five years time you’ll be one of the many posters on here complaining about how your teenager has had every advantage under the sun and you can’t understand why they have now turned into a spoilt brat who is completely ungrateful, speaks to you like crap, ignores all boundaries and does nothing to help around the house.

Yes that's what I meant, the loud chewing, just like the many others in this thread. Not sure why you chose my reply to comment on.

Sorry it wasn't against you personally.
I haven't read the previous comments.

You could help DD cope with the reasonable request.
Did she react in an upset way?
Maybe compliment her once she improves.

Back her Dad up saying something like, "Oh yes, poor Dad having those delicious sweets munching so close, please try closing your mouth DD."

I think it’s perfectly possible to chew sweets without making a noise. The only thing that I think it’s almost impossible to eat without making a noise is biting into an apple. Anything else can be eaten quietly, including crisps.

If you think this is a problem then maybe you need to spend some time in a country where actual problems exist. You won't even see this as a problem then.

Better her dad tells her than someone at school.

Oh come on, she's 11, not 4.

Definitely LTB! That's abuse! 🙄

She’s 11, ffs! She shouldn’t need telling to eat quietly at that age. And to be told robustly if she doesn’t.

He was parenting. Why on earth would you be upset at him teaching her it’s impolite to chew loudly?

So how will she learn to have manners if her own father can’t tell her that eating with her mouth making smacking / chomping sounds in his ear isn’t very polite? Do you want her to grow up eating with her mouth open etc and making adults feel queasy? Of course not. Things like being told you’ve got body odour, food stuck between your teeth or you’re eating noisily aren’t nice to hear because we get embarrassed but sometimes we need telling!

Loud chewing is disgusting and bad manners. It's a parents job to raise their kids with good manners. He's done nothing wrong, she does need to stop chewing so loudly.

Honestly, yes. Because instances of people eating loudly are vanishingly rare.

Clearly someone who has never been outside of Europe, and especially has never been to south east Asia.

Obviously there are different rules around etiquette and table manners in different parts of the world, but given we are discussing this in the UK among people who mostly live in the UK I think it's fair enough to judge people by the standards and social mores of the UK, before anyone points out that it's a prefectly acceptable sign of appreciation to slurp a lot and smack your lips in China.

This is definitely a rage baity thread, OP hasn't posted since the OP hours ago and it's 8 pages long 😂

Teach the 11 year old to chew with her mouth closed. Ew.

She was doing something annoying and he corrected her. She was being offensive chewing loudly by someone's ear. Do you want her to be not invited places because she has poor eating manners?

She sounds over indulged if she gets offended by correction when she's doing something offensive.

Entitled would also include an 11 year old eating like she’s chewing the cud, and a mother getting upset because Dad has told her little darling off for bad manners…🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🙄

It seems that this isn't a stand-alone issue. Turns out that OP has posted in the past about her DH constantly yelling at their children. Which somewhat changes my opinion.
I'm guessing that this wasn't a case of him calmly asking the kid not to chew loudly.

He’s doing her a favour. Noisy eating is grim. She needs to learn to chew with her mouth closed.

I agree with objecting to excessively loud chewing & teaching children manners around eating. The problem is he has been portrayed as if there was sheer anger in the reprimand instead of a calm explanation as to why loud chewing is rude. Rather than being angry with his reaction I'd be more inclined to question him about why he appears so angry & frustrated and whatever the reason he shouldn't be taking it out on his family.