Do people just not ring each other any more, is this normal?

[Gurolou]

All my friends want to text or WhatsApp, it seems to be a thing, I hate it. We are all in our forties and fifties so texting wasn't even a thing for most of our lives. Is this really the same for everyone and just how things are? Because I actually hate texts and WhatsApp it just feels like stuff piling on top of me, and I miss talking to people.

Telephone calls do seem to be not only dying out completely, but something that has developed a sort of pathology almost. It’s ironic that we still call mobile phones ‘phones’ really. It feels like one of those things that have gone for good and in some ways that does seem a shame, although I can see how/why it’s happened.

@Clafoutie what you mean by "a sort of pathology" please?

You’re sorry that people have different preferences to you? How very odd.

The only way for my family to get through to me is via my landline phone. We do have group chats on email sometimes.

This is very familiar! 🤣 I would much rather have the above conversation (which I think is fun - you both sound delightful) over the course of a day whilst going about my business (and probably interspersed with a meme or two and random observations about traffic and Traitors Ireland) than a two minute phone call.

I’d enjoy that conversation. Efficiency isn’t really paramount for that sort of thing, for me personally (although I appreciate I’m not the poster you were responding to).

Me too.

I'm in my 50s and texting has been a part of my life for over 25 years, which is longer than the time when I was using phones and didn't text.

I can't remember the last time I called a friend up, but I do video chat with some.

Mobiles were a bane until texting became standard. House phones weren't so bad as more limited, easier to ignore and when you did answer them, better audio, generally quieter environment (with some notable exceptions!) and a comfy place to chat. But I found mobiles intrusive. Then texting became standard and you could answer at your leisure, text when it was convenient and get a reply when it was convenient for other party. Way better. Much easier to stay up to date with friends than having to catch us both at a convenient time - especially when some live on different continents.

The text conversation would be more efficient with me because I'd have a chance to look at my calendar and check with my family if I'd forgotten any promises etc. Whereas if you called, the conversation would be over in a few minutes, but two days later I'd probably be contacting you saying "Sorry! Forgot I'd promised DD I'd take her to soccer."!

Voice notes come to me to die. Hate them.

The only person I ring/text is my elderly mum. She doesn't do Whatsapp.
If it's likely to turn into an essay I'll ring others. Other than that it's Whatsapp all the way for me. We've used Whatsapp for so long now that I hate phone calls for a catch up as my mind goes blank & I run out of things to say. Meet face to face for lunch & we'll all rattle on for hours & the convo flows freely. I don't mind receiving voice notes either.
We have a very poor mobile signal so I tend not to bother trying to call unless I have to.
Still got the house phone for emergencies (calls are dear on the package we're on). Quite like the house phone as it reminds me of the old days

I’ll tell you who talks on the phone- Russians and Eastern Europeans. I am always hearing them out in the street and on public transport, talking away. No idea what they are saying of course but it doesn’t look/sound like business stuff. I’m always amazed they have so much to say to each other!

I'm in my 60s, been texting for years. Yes, I agree 'phone conversations are dying out, and these days there are more people who prefer not to have a 'phone conversation than those who do.

I include myself in that.

Whereas years ago I'd have a long telephone call with someone, nowadays I don't want to. If I want a good old chat I'll arrange to meet up for a coffee and a catch up in person, otherwise it's text and WhatsApp. I actually find them quicker and easier, I can reply when I'm ready. I actually leave my mobile permanently on silent so no-one can disturb me...send me a message if you want a reply!

No,
no and
no.

I can’t stand phone calls. I find them so awkward.
I use WhatsApp Voice Notes sometimes if I’m telling someone a story/anecdote of some sort. But messaging all the way for me.

It’s actually hard for me to talk on the phone when my kids are around. They are noisy and want attention all the time. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy talking as there would be so many interruptions.

The only people I ring are my DH and my kids. Everyone else gets a text or message unless it's urgent.

I'm also surprised by the responses on here, I thought more people would actually speak to each other!

I use both... Whatsapp for little inane things mainly. But my 2 closest friends live on 2 different continents, and every couple of weeks I'll sit and 'have coffee ' with one or other of them, either on a video call, or (more likely) a phone call - where we talk for an hour or two. We definitely wouldn't get a proper insight into what's been happening by exchanging a few messages.

I certainly don't miss the 'olden days' of having a single land line in the hallway when the family could all hear the conversation, but it's nice still being able to actually just talk about crap...

It is the way it is now , My friends and family mostly text or WatsApp and voice notes . I’m happy with it as it’s convenient and I don’t want to be stuck talking on the phone .
I talk to a lot of people in the day . If I want to have a chat I will phone family members /friends or go see them .

We’re losing the art of conversation.

You can be warm, witty & reassuring in a call. I schedule them with close friends so we’re ready with wine or tea etc.

Absolutely not the case for everyone - I got my first phone in about 1999 when texting was only just available to all, rather than only those on the same network, and it was always preferred to calls. I love messaging people. Phone calls have a purpose and I’m fine to call people when speed or a fast decision is required, but messaging is superior.

For me it’s about people being free at the same time - if I had to wait until my friends and I were both free to chat I’d never talk to them!! We’re all so busy that messages are the only way we can keep up some kind of dialogue

I’m 55 , I’ve been texting for at least half my life. I don’t often just chat on the phone

I'm 76, and only communicate by text unless there is an emergency or a bereavement. People often called me at an inconvenient time, and then chat for hours. I can't be bothered with that. It wears me out. Texts are the way forward.

I don't think this is worth getting het up about OP. The way we communicate has fundamentally changed and WhatsApp and FaceTime fits in better with modern lives. I grew up with the phone, but never liked talking to disembodied voices. I will do it if there is a specific purpose - normally task-related like calling the bank or making a dental appointment. However, I even resent having to phone the dentist. They say - can you make such a time and then there's a frantic check of home and work diaries to see if it's doable. You then go back and forth trying to find a mutually convenient date and time. It would be much easier if they used an online booking system so I could check my availability at leisure.

If I want to engage in friendly chit chat, I will either arrange to meet a friend in person or if they live far away, we will arrange to FaceTime. Not much has been said of video calls on this thread, but it's been a revelation. You can see the person and read non-verbal cues. It just makes the conversation flow much easier. Why would you use a voice call when you can arrange a time to suit you both and actually see the other person on video?

I can't really think of anything that the phone does that hasn't been superseded by a better option. If the phone range and it was someone I knew, I'd assume it was an emergency. If I don't recognise the number, I assume it's spam and it normally is. I am rarely in a position to take a spontaneous call anyway. If you ring, I will be working, exercising, engaging in another hobby, doing household chores or otherwise engaged. Modern life is hectic and work especially can be really intense - nobody is waiting around for the phone to ring. And if I'm scrolling social media or something else on the internet, it's because I need some downtime to flush out my brain. I certainly don't need more people time.

I’m not losing the art of conversation. I just prefer to do it face to face.

Call the kids. Whatsapp friends. Email for work. Still send birthday cards (and hand written letters to one or two people).