Regret causing a scene in Aldi

[Liiz92]

I went to Aldi earlier. While I was scanning an item at the self checkout, the price was more expensive than the price on the sticker on the shelf. I asked the assistant if I could quickly go back to swap it. I was away for only about 2 minutes.

When I came back to the till, there was a man arguing with the assistant, saying she had to remove my items so he could use the till. I explained that the items were mine and that I had just gone back to swap something. He started shouting at me, saying I had “jumped the queue” and that I shouldn’t go to the till until I had finished my shopping.

I stayed quiet for a few moments. When he was in the queue, I approached him and pointed my finger, saying, “don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.” He shouted at me in response, telling me not to point my finger or swear at him. I said, “You’ve chosen the wrong person to be rude to,” and went back to DD.

We finished paying at the same time, and he was walking close behind me, looking at me. I said, “I didn’t appreciate you shouting at me in front of my child.” He then said, “I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

As time has passed, I regret my actions and wish I had just stayed quiet.

grumpy old man syndrome. Used to work in a supermarket, and they are the worst. I refused to serve them if they were rude.

They're trying to say that he probably wouldnt have acted that way to a 6'4" bodybuilder because there's a chance that said bodybuilder could sucessfully punch him into next week.

Much less likely for a woman to do that.

Hope that clears that up for you....

Sorry good for you OP. I would’ve done the same. Don’t feel bad! Some people just need a telling off and putting in their place!

@MindYourUsage They're trying to say that he probably wouldnt have acted that way to a 6'4" bodybuilder because there's a chance that said bodybuilder could sucessfully punch him into next week.

Yes, I know she was saying that.

As I explained in my previous comments, no one in the real world actually thinks like that.

Well I think you were brilliant! He is clearly a twat who thinks he can talk to women like shit. Of anything you showed your daughter not to take crap in my opinion

Hmm, resorting to swearing doesn't cover you in glory, especially in front of your DD.

The correct response is to smile and politely say 'I think you've confused me with someone who actually cares about your opinion?' And then you saunter off and do not re-engage.

You go girl I would have done the same as you

Has everyone gone crazy on here, a woman wanders off from her shopping holding up a busy till in search of an item, a chap complains, justifiably so.
She shows herself up by swearing in front of her child and everyone thinks she’s wonder woman.
This world is becoming a very sad place if that it the sort of woman we call a hero and consider good role model.

everything on Mumsnet have to come down to how terrible men are and women can do no wrong?

Are you new here / to earth @Growlybear83 ? As you’ll see from the vast majority of threads, women are regularly and deservedly handed their arses for bad behaviour on here. They are also pilloried for differentiating themselves from doormats when it comes to standing up to piggish men. That’s what this situation was about.

It could just as easily have been a woman who was pissed off at the OP disappearing back into the shop and leaving her shopping at the checkout.

Except in this instance it wasn’t. And it’s far more regular an occurrence for a man to be the one shouting and screaming in entitlement when it comes to a woman daring to inconvenience him.

It would have really annoyed me if I’d been waiting, and I would probably have said something to the OP.

Would you have screamed and shouted and demanded the till be cleared for you and then followed OP out trying to intimidate her? If so, you’re every bit as big an arsehole and would deserve and mouthful right back too. You are a fan of equality when it comes to twatishness, afterall.

Why are you changing the narrative? She didn’t saunter off, she cleared it with the shop assistant. The man accused her of jumping the queue which wasn’t the case at all so his reaction wasn’t ’justifiable’ because he was incorrect.

The swearing may not be your cup of tea but I think people are generally praising the op for standing up for herself against a man who was being rude to her. Do you think we should just keep our heads down and tolerate random men shouting at us in public?

This was my thinking too - well done Op!

As much as I would have been cursing at you taking up a till if I was waiting, good on you for pulling him up. I bet he's at home now snapping at everything and it will rile him for days. I know the type

I overheard a man being really rude to his wife in Aldi about a year ago and I told him that he should be ashamed of himself speaking to a woman like that. He told me to eff off unsurprisingly!

I am not new to Mumsnet, and of course I’ve seen women getting slated for their behaviour. However, there has always appeared to me to be a general hatred of men on this forum, and often very double standards.

I don’t agree that it is a far more regular occurrence for men than women to be the ones who react unreasonably in situations - I’ve always found women to be just as unpleasant and rude as men.

No, I wouldn’t have ‘shouted and screamed’ at the OP but then I don’t think I’ve ever actually screamed in my life, and I can’t imagine the circumstances when I would shout in a shop - I may get irritated at someone and complain, maybe even raise my voice, but I wouldn’t shout or scream. I think the OP initiated the issue by going off and leaving her shopping at the checkout. The man was obviously annoyed, and handled it badly when he had a go at the OP. I wonder if he actually shouted, or if he just raised his voice at her? But she then escalated the situation by going back again, pointing at him and swearing. In one breath she was swearing at him in front of her young daughter, and the next minute she had a go at the man for shouting at her in front of her child. 🙄🙄🙄

Id have said a lot worse 🤣

I remember being in a queue in aldi and having to stand and wait five minutes so the woman at the top could legally buy her booze. Total standstill while the customer and checkout operator had a nice chat while the clock counted down.

Weirdly, infuriating as it was, none of us lost our shit.

Sounds like he was threatening you after the event. Good for you for standing up to him. The only reason for regretting it would have been if you ran the chance of seeing him again and it becoming a point of stress, but that's not going to happen.

Fuck him, why should he get to make you feel uncomfortable and you sit there in silence and take it quietly? Well done for being assertive. Swearing or not, who cares. Glad you stuck up for yourself.

Honestly ignore the sanctimonious finger pointers. They always show up to an AIBU thread.

Speaking up for yourself is being a great role model (perhaps minus the swearing) for your DD as we do them a disservice by teaching them to be ‘kind’.

I don’t understand why you are beating yourself up. I’m sick and tired of entitled men. Be proud of yourself!

This. Goodness me just ignore and take the higher ground.

I had that one once. I didn't really clock what was going on, so when the person who turned up behind me tried to claim he was there first, I was just puzzled. I said "Obviously you weren't" and carried on unpacking my shopping. They were not pleased at all, especially when the assistant announced that so far as she was concerned she was going to serve people in the order they turned up in the queue, which put me next.

See what you did there, she shouldn't have egged him on!

I picked yabu because you are, to think you should have taken his abuse