Regret causing a scene in Aldi

[Liiz92]

I went to Aldi earlier. While I was scanning an item at the self checkout, the price was more expensive than the price on the sticker on the shelf. I asked the assistant if I could quickly go back to swap it. I was away for only about 2 minutes.

When I came back to the till, there was a man arguing with the assistant, saying she had to remove my items so he could use the till. I explained that the items were mine and that I had just gone back to swap something. He started shouting at me, saying I had “jumped the queue” and that I shouldn’t go to the till until I had finished my shopping.

I stayed quiet for a few moments. When he was in the queue, I approached him and pointed my finger, saying, “don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.” He shouted at me in response, telling me not to point my finger or swear at him. I said, “You’ve chosen the wrong person to be rude to,” and went back to DD.

We finished paying at the same time, and he was walking close behind me, looking at me. I said, “I didn’t appreciate you shouting at me in front of my child.” He then said, “I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

As time has passed, I regret my actions and wish I had just stayed quiet.

It’s one thing standing up to someone who you feel has bullied you, even when you have actually created the situation to start with, but why does everything on Mumsnet have to come down to how terrible men are and women can do no wrong? It could just as easily have been a woman who was pissed off at the OP disappearing back into the shop and leaving her shopping at the checkout. It would have really annoyed me if I’d been waiting, and I would probably have said something to the OP. The fact that the OP felt the man was rude isn’t an excuse for the way she behaved.

Fuck him! Go you!

why does everything on Mumsnet have to come down to how terrible men are and women can do no wrong?

It's not. It's a nest of vipers where women tear each other down all the time and are shit that way. Honestly, try to keep up.

If what you're actually asking is why a community of mostly women tends to centre and empathise with women, well, once you find your Old Bailey online community that's fully blindly just and morally perfect in all things, you can send it over here to do the correcting women for you, but do you really think this is the first place to start?

( What am I saying, of course you do.)

Ehm, they have security guards for that exact reason. They are paid to be ready to physically intervene if needed.

🙄

In our Aldi if you walk away from your shopping at the self checkout then your transaction is voided, shipping out back in your basket or trolley and when you get back you go to the back of the queue.
Honestly neither of you came out smelling of roses!
You for holding up the queue for probably more than 2 minutes, and then swearing at someone, and him for moaning!

I think this is a case of being embarrassed about swearing in a public place with children present. You know it's wrong, but you reacted in the heat of the moment. Run away, never go back and don't loose sleep. He didn't recognise when he was in the wrong, but you did. It means you're self aware, the better person and can handle it differently next time.

Honestly, it's like the people above saying "oh, you shouldn't have wandered off to the replace the item" never had a faulty item at the checkout or done a price check? Happens all the time, I do it myself and I never think twice about people ahead of me in the queue doing that. I do get annoyed when the previous customer is trying to talk the cashier into a discount that isn't valid or counts out 57 pounds in small coins... still I don't say anything.

This could all have been avoided if you had uttered a general "so sorry about this" in the direction of the people waiting behind you.

I imagine he was annoyed at having to wait at your convenience and the fact that you couldn't even bother your arse to acknowledge that you were making people wait.

Then you strolled back, still didn't acknowledge that you had made people wait and, in response to your lack of manners, said something.

He didn't swear and I say, good on him.

What a twat you made of yourself and, by the way I agree with other PP, that you no more did your Joan of Arc speech about other women than you have been to a charm school. Both highly unlikely.

Thank you, everyone. I can’t reply to each of you individually, but I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. As I’ve already said, I’ve learned from this experience and won’t let my emotions get the better of me next time.

Supermarkets seem to be a place that threaten mens delicate egos for some reason.

Last year I was in Lidl and put a divider and my shopping on the conveyor belt behind a man who was stood in front of me. The cashier shouted out that another till was available (in general, not just to me) but i guess bloke in front misunderstood because he turned to me and said "this one's shutting. You need to leave" in a needlessly aggesssive tone. I was a bit baffled and pointed out the till number was still green so he lent forward and asked the cashier if he was closing. Cashier looked confused and said no. Bloke then glared at me, snapped "fucks sake" and slammed down another divider between our shopping, even though I'd already put one down.

Watching him make a bit of a dick of himself amused me rather than made me cross (that came later) so I smirked and said "whoops"! loudly. Which earned me another glare.

😘

Have you missed the part where I said I apologised to him?
Where did I say I ‘strolled back to the till’?
There were 6 self-checkout tills in total, along with one staffed till with just a single person being served.
I was using only 1 till and had scanned all my items except the one that was incorrectly priced.
And I honestly don’t understand what this means: ‘PP, that you no more did your Joan of Arc speech about other women than you have been to a charm school. Both highly unlikely.’

Yes she should have chickened out and let him away with behaving badly.

Very bad judgement OP, you swore in front of your child … it’s cheap, common, and degrades you, not him.
You really showed yourself up there!

Misses the point of the thread entirely. But when you scan the stickered items at self check out they always scan at full price. You just have to press the 30% or 50% button and then the supervisor comes and takes it off at the end

People like that want a confrontation. Don't give them the satisfaction.
Act like theyre not even there, turn away and if he carried on speaking to you then talk over him speaking to the cashier or your daughter as if hes speaking to someone else. The result is he will end up feeling frustrated or stupid, instead of getting the satisfaction of a reaction and seeing hes bothered you.

Well I would t have pointed at him or swore as that just escalates a volatile situation but you weren’t wrong in challenging him for shouting at you when you had already checked with the staff member. Presumably there wasn’t just one self checkout. Sometimes it is best to turn the other cheek but sometimes these idiots need calling out. If it is was just a few minutes he was being ridiculous. Swearing and shouting in front of DD is not a good idea.

Honestly what are swear words? Anglo Saxon words the French banned, so why do people get so hung up on them???
But they have such an effect don't they
Well done @Liiz92 he was OOO and you were right to call him out. Using old language is also fine in my books....
l
Ime, Adi attracts this type of behaviour, I never see it in M&S though...

You both behaved badly. In that situation I would have ignored him and walked out with my head held high.

Yeah you were wrong! How embarrassing

"Only 2 minutes"?!?!??!

Imagine if every customer randomly walked off to swap items whilst leaving their shopping at the scanner.

Muppet.

He shouldn’t have shouted but you’re very entitled to hold up a queue like that. I bet you weren’t ’two minutes’ either.

Aldi is a budget shop like Home Bargains or B&M. They don't have loads of manned tills, they just jump on them when there is a queue. So OP was probably causing a needless hold up over a few pence as there are no other tills available. A bit like the shoppers who suddenly realize they have to pay, and have to search their bags for a purse, and then remember they have a phone app so have to get their phone out and find the app then realize it is the wrong app so they have to search for cash again and then find some coupons which they think may be in date but for a different store. They are entitled to all this drama of course, but some of us are ready to pay as soon as the stuff is being bleeped through as we have other things to do and we get a bit exasperated.

Let it go @Liiz92

What’s done is done.

It’s very likely you’d be turning this over in your head and wishing you’d said something if you’d said nothing at all. It’s just a normal reaction to being accosted in public.

Some people will tick you off and some will congratulate you. There’s no one right way. You reacted in a moment. You’re here to tell the tale and some day it might even be a hilarious story.

Be nice to yourself - get a hot cup of tea and curl up with something gripping on Netflix to take your mind off it, and fgs stop flagellating yourself with MN!