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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Regret causing a scene in Aldi

311 replies

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 16:51

I went to Aldi earlier. While I was scanning an item at the self checkout, the price was more expensive than the price on the sticker on the shelf. I asked the assistant if I could quickly go back to swap it. I was away for only about 2 minutes.

When I came back to the till, there was a man arguing with the assistant, saying she had to remove my items so he could use the till. I explained that the items were mine and that I had just gone back to swap something. He started shouting at me, saying I had “jumped the queue” and that I shouldn’t go to the till until I had finished my shopping.

I stayed quiet for a few moments. When he was in the queue, I approached him and pointed my finger, saying, “don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.” He shouted at me in response, telling me not to point my finger or swear at him. I said, “You’ve chosen the wrong person to be rude to,” and went back to DD.

We finished paying at the same time, and he was walking close behind me, looking at me. I said, “I didn’t appreciate you shouting at me in front of my child.” He then said, “I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

As time has passed, I regret my actions and wish I had just stayed quiet.

OP posts:
ShetlandishMum · 08/02/2026 16:52

He is an asshole. You worked wth staff and did nohing wrong.

rubyslippers · 08/02/2026 16:52

Good for you!!
he’s was terribly rude. I bet you standing up for yourself took him by surprise

mumofoneAloneandwell · 08/02/2026 16:53

Yabu to regret it

that’s what men like that count on, intimidating women. He’s a twat who I’d bet money wouldn’t say boo to another man

well done xx

Breadcat24 · 08/02/2026 16:54

Well swearing at him didn't cover you in glory "in front of your child" did it?
Why not just ask the staff member to deal with him

SunMoonandChocolate · 08/02/2026 16:55

Good for you OP! If only more women had the courage to speak up, instead of letting arrogant arseholes get away with behaving like the big I am!! I say, well done YOU!

UrbanFan · 08/02/2026 16:55

Well done standing up for yourself.

Gotmyoldshoeson · 08/02/2026 16:56

He was a twat.

Having said that two mins is a long time to be holding up a queue to be swapping something.

Personally if there were no staff to swap it, I’d have just left it.

Stickytoffeetartt · 08/02/2026 16:56

Sounds like a grumpy old sod. You had the go ahead from the employee so I wouldn't worry. They knew you would be returning. It's not like you just took off mid -scanning without explanation. He shouldn't have spoken to you like that so I'm glad you gave him a taste of his own medicine. Some members of the public are just not nice.

BluLavender · 08/02/2026 16:56

I think you would have regretted not saying anything! Could you be misunderstanding your feelings of regret as just feeling upset about the situation in general?

merrymonsters · 08/02/2026 16:56

You were taking up a machine while others were waiting. I can understand he'd find that annoying. It's all done by barcode so how does swapping for another of the same item help?

HappyMamma2023 · 08/02/2026 16:57

I voted YANBU because I think gou did the right thing standinf uo for yourself. But not swearing in front of DD.

YourWinter · 08/02/2026 16:59

You don’t say how old your child is but regardless, swearing at a stranger is setting an awful example. A better lesson would have been to demonstrate charm in the face of provocation. It’s not exactly classy to use the F word in public. Your child will learn from you.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 08/02/2026 16:59

Well done for standing up to him. I don't blame you for swearing as I'm a swearer myself.

Idleplum · 08/02/2026 17:00

You could have said “don’t speak to me like that”. But you you using fowl language and bemoaning how someone else speaks in front of your child is somewhat hypocritical and makes you look a bit stupid.

He sounds like an arse but so were you.

MrMischief · 08/02/2026 17:00

What a twat he was.

youalright · 08/02/2026 17:01

So in that 2 minutes no other self scan came empty for him to use. I think you can stand up for yourself without getting in someones face pointing your finger and swearing at him. If someone stuck there finger in my face id be breaking it.

philandgrant2 · 08/02/2026 17:01

You didn’t cause the scene, he did. And you were absolutely right to call him out on it. The only thing that complicates it is that your dd was with you and it could have turned nasty. But in an ideal world you shouldn’t have to be scared of standing up for yourself against an arse hole of a man.

BillieWiper · 08/02/2026 17:01

How bizarre to try and arrange a meet up for 4pm next Sunday. It should have been at high noon surely?!

It almost sounds like it might have been a joke?

Soontobe60 · 08/02/2026 17:01

I would have been silently annoyed that you went away from the till and left your shopping there, but wouldn’t have said anything.
I would have ignored the man who ‘shouted’ at me and expected the staff to deal with him.
I would not have gone over to him whilst he was in the queue and swore at him in front of my child.
You were both behaving poorly.

Antinori86 · 08/02/2026 17:02

Good for you. I always have it out with entitled men in public if I can. They won't learn any other way. I also try to go to the defence of others if they look like they need it.

Swearing in front of your child is neither here nor there, I think. Importantly, they learnt that they should stand up for themselves.

Disturbia81 · 08/02/2026 17:03

Good on you, you showed your dd to stand up for herself against arseholes. HE started it.

viques · 08/02/2026 17:03

Good for you @Liiz92 I challenged a couple who were doing the “ You stand in the q with two items while I finish filling up this trolley,” trick. I refused to move so they could get the trolley past me to unload. They rather ungraciously added their two items to their trolley.🙂 The check out assistant gave me a smile and a wink. The couple muttered.

petiteoeuf · 08/02/2026 17:06

I love you!

cantpullthetrigger · 08/02/2026 17:08

You annoyed him and he annoyed you.

But I’m going against the grain here.

You lowered yourself with your pointing and swearing and lost the moral high ground.
There’s much more effective ways to speak to people and put them in their place than that.

Your response taught him nothing.

Tonissister · 08/02/2026 17:08

Please don't. Men like that expect women to be docile so they can throw their weight around. If we all make life uncomfortable for them, they are less inclined to bully others. Good for you. You should be proud.

What a pillock trying to threaten you with a rematch next week.

I once raised my voice to a massive man - well over 6ft and very heavy, who was bullying a tiny - under 5ft - shop assistant who was alone on her shift at a late night WH Smith in a railway station. He had stolen a few Mars bars because he couldn't be bothered to wait at the till and she had run after him to get him to pay. He was shouting at her so I shouted at him and mocked him for bullying a tiny woman and for getting so angry when he was clearly in the wrong and should pay up, like a proper grown up. Once it was two against one, he paid very begrudgingly for his chocolate and sloped off. The shop assistant looked a bit shaken that I had stepped in, but I am so jeffing sick of tyrannical men thinking they can control us because they are bigger.