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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Regret causing a scene in Aldi

311 replies

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 16:51

I went to Aldi earlier. While I was scanning an item at the self checkout, the price was more expensive than the price on the sticker on the shelf. I asked the assistant if I could quickly go back to swap it. I was away for only about 2 minutes.

When I came back to the till, there was a man arguing with the assistant, saying she had to remove my items so he could use the till. I explained that the items were mine and that I had just gone back to swap something. He started shouting at me, saying I had “jumped the queue” and that I shouldn’t go to the till until I had finished my shopping.

I stayed quiet for a few moments. When he was in the queue, I approached him and pointed my finger, saying, “don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.” He shouted at me in response, telling me not to point my finger or swear at him. I said, “You’ve chosen the wrong person to be rude to,” and went back to DD.

We finished paying at the same time, and he was walking close behind me, looking at me. I said, “I didn’t appreciate you shouting at me in front of my child.” He then said, “I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

As time has passed, I regret my actions and wish I had just stayed quiet.

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 08/02/2026 17:47

You did the right thing. Some men are just misogynists. I had a similar thing happen at a bus station where I was dropping off a colleague. The passenger door did not shut so I could not move off swiftly but had to get out and shut it - I can't reach across the seats and my passenger was out of earshot. A man in the car behind me shouted very rudely, telling me to not be so fucking stupid and blaring his horn as though I had meant to cause him inconvenience! I pointed out I had a problem and he shouted again so I swore back at him. My passenger, who had belatedly realised the door hadn't shut came back to say sorry to me and was really supportive (also a man btw). Some men are just rude and they need treading on often.

ImPamDoove · 08/02/2026 17:47

Nevertheless, I do think I made a total arse out of myself.

You did.. But hopefully, the memory of it will make you do better next time.

dailyconniptions · 08/02/2026 17:47

Swearing and being aggressive in front of your child over one misunderstanding was just appalling.

TheIceBear · 08/02/2026 17:48

I don’t think you made an arse of yourself at all, if I overheard you I would have thought good for her that man is a dick. the concern is putting yourself at risk if he did turn out to be violent.

MassiveWordSalad · 08/02/2026 17:48

shuggles · 08/02/2026 17:36

@MassiveWordSalad The point is that some men will decide to bully a woman who is not a physical threat (unlike say, a huge bodybuilder) and socialised to be “nice” because they’re cowardly misogynists.

Do you never go outside..? The overwhelming majority of anger and aggression from men is directed towards other men, not women.

A huge bodybuilder is not a physical threat, because physical assault in a public place is illegal. What a bizarre way to think. That's like something from a school playground.

The physical threat in public comes from groups of yobs who have their faces covered and who are hunched over with their hands in their pockets. Because there's a group of them and they are likely to be armed with knives. Those are the people I avoid.

Have you never seen misogyny in action? It happens a lot. A man is feeling pissed off, sees a woman doing something he disagrees with, and berates her, knowing his masculine physical presence will intimidate her. Often the woman will get upset, give a shaky apology and maybe even cry, making the bully feel all big and manly and righteous. It doesn’t make them feel as big and manly if they try it on somebody of their own sex who is bigger and could easily punch them in the face.

tinyspiny · 08/02/2026 17:48

I don’t see why so many people are saying he was wrong , it was the OP that caused the scene , she should have just ignored him and carried on with her scanning but instead she reignited the argument . I also don’t believe for one second that she said ‘ don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.”, I totally think that the ‘or at any woman’ is an added extra on here to make it look like she is looking out for us all to garner support .

MrsPinkSky · 08/02/2026 17:49

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:44

He wasn’t. His face dropped when I confronted him. He looked very surprised that I waited a few moments before speaking to him and didn't just 'leave it'. His face actually changed colour, it went pale after being red when he was shouting at me. He probably didn’t expect me to revisit the situation again. But who knows maybe he was shaking with laughter on the inside.

Nevertheless, I do think I made a total arse out of myself.

Of course he was laughing after you said about his behaviour in front of your daughter, while you're dropping an F bomb 🤣

Come on OP just smile at yourself and put it behind you now.

Not sure why you're rehashing it like this.

PussInBin20 · 08/02/2026 17:49

I think you were in the wrong and don’t blame you for regretting it. You caused the problem in the first place.

JaquelineHide · 08/02/2026 17:49

I don't think you were the one who caused the scene, OP. He sounds like a dickhead.

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:49

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:39

I really don’t see how she made an area of herself, she was antagonised and didn’t sit there and take it.

I think she made a complete fool of herself. When shops are busy, it’s really irritating when someone wanders off to either exchange something or get something they’ve forgotten. The OP hasn’t given any indication of how long she was gone for and it’s understandable that the man was annoyed. Of course he shouldn’t have been as rude as he was, but the OP outdid him in the rudeness stakes massively. She behaved like a fishwife, swearing and pointing at him the way she did, especially in front of her nine year old daughter. And I fail to see why the ‘or any woman’ part of the OP’s comment was relevant. I suppose I do has to admire her total lack of self awareness telling the man that she didn’t appreciate him shouting at her in front of her child, after how she had just behaved. I bet she brightened up the day of a number of other shoppers with her ridiculous behaviour.

MassiveWordSalad · 08/02/2026 17:49

dailyconniptions · 08/02/2026 17:47

Swearing and being aggressive in front of your child over one misunderstanding was just appalling.

Standing up to a bullying man in front of your daughter may show her that women shouldn’t quietly put up with this shit.

diddl · 08/02/2026 17:50

He sounds awful.

Seems a lot of fuss due to a discounted sticker not showing up though!

Surprised the assistant couldn't have put it through somehow.

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:54

tinyspiny · 08/02/2026 17:48

I don’t see why so many people are saying he was wrong , it was the OP that caused the scene , she should have just ignored him and carried on with her scanning but instead she reignited the argument . I also don’t believe for one second that she said ‘ don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.”, I totally think that the ‘or at any woman’ is an added extra on here to make it look like she is looking out for us all to garner support .

I promise you I did say exactly that.

OP posts:
landlordhell · 08/02/2026 17:55

Sometimes we just act in the heat of the moment- you are human. I would talk to your DD if old enough to understand and say that you wish you had dealt with it differently but the man was rude and you felt you had to stand up for yourself.
Last week in Lidl an older man decided to chat away on a Saturday morning to the checkout person. After ahe processed his payment he continued- unusually for Lidl staff she allowed this and the queue was halfway up the shop. My face must’ve said it all as I was 2 customers back and he decided to blow me a kiss and then give me the mid digit! Honestly what is going on? He wasn’t in the car park after I left otherwise I would have given him the same lecture.

youalright · 08/02/2026 17:55

MassiveWordSalad · 08/02/2026 17:49

Standing up to a bullying man in front of your daughter may show her that women shouldn’t quietly put up with this shit.

I dont think many women do but there are ways to stand up for yourself without swearing and pointing your finger at someone. How pathetic do you think women are do you honestly think most women would start looking at there shoes and say sorry sir please take my till. Have you met women before I think where actually worse then men for our gobs and attitudes

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:55

PussInBin20 · 08/02/2026 17:49

I think you were in the wrong and don’t blame you for regretting it. You caused the problem in the first place.

The sales assistant said I could go and swap the item so how did I cause the problem in the first place?

OP posts:
MassiveWordSalad · 08/02/2026 17:56

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:49

I think she made a complete fool of herself. When shops are busy, it’s really irritating when someone wanders off to either exchange something or get something they’ve forgotten. The OP hasn’t given any indication of how long she was gone for and it’s understandable that the man was annoyed. Of course he shouldn’t have been as rude as he was, but the OP outdid him in the rudeness stakes massively. She behaved like a fishwife, swearing and pointing at him the way she did, especially in front of her nine year old daughter. And I fail to see why the ‘or any woman’ part of the OP’s comment was relevant. I suppose I do has to admire her total lack of self awareness telling the man that she didn’t appreciate him shouting at her in front of her child, after how she had just behaved. I bet she brightened up the day of a number of other shoppers with her ridiculous behaviour.

When there’s one person attending the tills, you have to rectify mistakes yourself. They won’t go and get something for you any more. In one of the OP’s updates she said there were other tills he could have used, he was just trying to make a point.

And “fishwife” FFS 🤣

landlordhell · 08/02/2026 17:56

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:55

The sales assistant said I could go and swap the item so how did I cause the problem in the first place?

Exactly- they should send a runner.

Shakeyshakeyshake · 08/02/2026 17:56

You were fine. Stop overthinking it.
He was being an arse and you called him on it. It’s on him.
I know you regret the language you used, however your daughter saw you don’t take shit from randomers in the wrong. She’ll be fine.

verabarbleen · 08/02/2026 17:58

Good for you I’m laughing at the 4pm thing did he want to meet you for a fight 😂 sorry I shouldn’t laugh it’s just something people used to say at school!

Duckchops · 08/02/2026 17:58

Typo

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:58

I 100% agree that I should have been more careful. I shouldn’t have sworn, even without my DD present.

I was just frustrated that some men get away with bullying. Last month, I was in the car with my daughter when a random man angrily and dangerously overtook me (I was driving at the speed limit), then stopped in front of me with his hazard lights on. He wouldn’t let me drive forward and blocked me from turning or leaving the road. My daughter and I were so scared, and there was nothing I could do. I think my reaction this time was an accumulation of stressful experiences involving men in public.

OP posts:
MassiveWordSalad · 08/02/2026 17:58

landlordhell · 08/02/2026 17:56

Exactly- they should send a runner.

There are no runners, since COVID they use the absolute minimum number of staff they can. The member of staff by the self-service tills has to stay there.

PhaedraWas · 08/02/2026 17:58

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:44

He wasn’t. His face dropped when I confronted him. He looked very surprised that I waited a few moments before speaking to him and didn't just 'leave it'. His face actually changed colour, it went pale after being red when he was shouting at me. He probably didn’t expect me to revisit the situation again. But who knows maybe he was shaking with laughter on the inside.

Nevertheless, I do think I made a total arse out of myself.

You did.

RudolphTheReindeer · 08/02/2026 17:59

verabarbleen · 08/02/2026 17:58

Good for you I’m laughing at the 4pm thing did he want to meet you for a fight 😂 sorry I shouldn’t laugh it’s just something people used to say at school!

I thought this too. Is it guns at 10 paces 😂