Regret causing a scene in Aldi

[Liiz92]

I went to Aldi earlier. While I was scanning an item at the self checkout, the price was more expensive than the price on the sticker on the shelf. I asked the assistant if I could quickly go back to swap it. I was away for only about 2 minutes.

When I came back to the till, there was a man arguing with the assistant, saying she had to remove my items so he could use the till. I explained that the items were mine and that I had just gone back to swap something. He started shouting at me, saying I had “jumped the queue” and that I shouldn’t go to the till until I had finished my shopping.

I stayed quiet for a few moments. When he was in the queue, I approached him and pointed my finger, saying, “don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.” He shouted at me in response, telling me not to point my finger or swear at him. I said, “You’ve chosen the wrong person to be rude to,” and went back to DD.

We finished paying at the same time, and he was walking close behind me, looking at me. I said, “I didn’t appreciate you shouting at me in front of my child.” He then said, “I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

As time has passed, I regret my actions and wish I had just stayed quiet.

"Have you never seen misogyny in action? It happens a lot. A man is feeling pissed off, sees a woman doing something he disagrees with, and berates her,"

This is your misandry showing. We don't know that this man is a misogynist. For all we know, he rants at men who hold people up at checkouts.

You've just assumed he wouldn't do the same to a man and is instead berating only women because he is a man, then extrapolated based on that stereotypical assumption.

There's plenty of men who get into petty arguments with other men in aldi, and are more likely to do that than berates a woman.

I’m the kind of person who regrets NOT saying things when I look back and wished I’d said something so well done you. No regrets necessary. I vow to be more “Liiz” in future. X

One quick tip - if you have this sort of situation again, or indeed any situation that is contentious, don't ever, ever, respond with swear words, or in particular the F word. It undermines and eradicates your standing.

Something similar happened to me - also Aldi. Different circumstances but fundamentally an entitled young man felt it acceptable to remonstrate with me at the tills. I didn’t swear - but responded also along the lines of ‘how dare you raise your voice to me’. He really didn’t like being challenged by some middle aged fat bird half his size. He loomed into my face, definitely trying to intimidate me and spoke even louder - so I talked / shouted over him even more loudly than that - at this point certainly loud enough for the whole store to hear. Soon security came along and asked us to stop ‘certainly’, said I, ‘I was only responding in the tone I was spoken to’. He gave me daggers till he left the store - I just stared back at him. I don’t regret a single second. I absolutely detest the way big blokes pick on women (no WAY would he have spoken to a burly chap like that, I am convinced). Maybe he’ll think twice next time.

I think OP was just as rude as the guy . And swearing like that is awful - especially in front of your daughter.
I can see why the man was annoyed . However , he was rude and impatient .
But I don't think you have achieved some kind of great defence of females everywhere as many of the post here seem to suggest .
Both of you were at fault . But you lowered yourself to his angry , unreasonable level in my opinion.

You sound fabulous, OP.

Well fucking done.

Ignore all the pearl-clutchers saying you shouldn't have sworn in front of a child. It's good for children to see women standing up to men. Fucking cunts.

I really don’t blame you but I have learnt over time to keep my mouth shut when with my children. Imagine if he attacked you in front of her. I’ve done it in the past then afterwards thought I really shouldn’t risk it when with the kids.
at the same time though it’s good she saw you stand up for yourself.

She returned his aggression. TBH when I was younger I would have probably stammered an apology at this kind of guy and scampered off, probably in tears.

Gosh I'm finding this happening to me a lot lately in supermarkets and some public places with women getting really angry and shouting at me for no reason at all.

He was a starting idiot … next time just ignore anyone who talked to you like that .. people hate being ignored .. 👌🏼😁.. They want input .. don’t give it to them 👍.. If he’s harassing you call the police and tell him you’re going to either .. even if you don’t

This doesn't make sense though. It took you a couple of minutes to go and find an alternative item when you could have simply asked them to get a price check. At our Aldi they have headsets or someone at an actual till does and they just ask through that for someone on the shop floor to go and check. That would have made more sense and likely to have taken a similar amount of time. Saying you would get a different product is likely to be more time consuming. Aldi is also the kind of shop where it is fast paced.

Or your daughter is 9, you could have sent her back to find an alternative and continued to pay for your shopping, waited to one side, and then joined the queue again once she returned. Or if she didn't know the item, again you could have paid for the shopping, she could have waited at the end of the shop and then you could have gone back to get the different product.

Anyway you both sound a bit silly, him for having a go at you and you for swearing and ranting at him.

i think you were unnecessary
did you think he would lay down and take it?

What do you wish you'd said instead OP? I think it's great to stand up for yourself but I do think that the message can get lost if you get aggressive (finger pointing, swearing etc)

He deserved it and more. I would be afraid to be a 6ft woman because I’d probably punch him, if I knew I’d win the fight.

Misandry 🤣

@MassiveWordSalad Have you never seen misogyny in action? It happens a lot. A man is feeling pissed off, sees a woman doing something he disagrees with, and berates her, knowing his masculine physical presence will intimidate her. Often the woman will get upset, give a shaky apology and maybe even cry, making the bully feel all big and manly and righteous.

You've never seen a man speaking aggressively to another man?

Are you serious?

It doesn’t make them feel as big and manly if they try it on somebody of their own sex who is bigger and could easily punch them in the face.

Again, this is nonsense "playground" thinking.

I left school a long time ago. Someone's size and build has absolutely no bearing on how I speak to them, and this would be the same for all other men. That's because I know they can't punch me in the face.

I've gotten into plenty of arguments with men larger than me, and men smaller than me have had no issue speaking to me aggressively either. It's because 99% of men understand that we can't actually do anything to each other, because physical contact crosses a red line. It is highly unusual for any man to resort to physical violence. I'm not sure why you think that's normal. How strange.

Your language is foul. Do you use this sort of vocabulary in front of your children.

I've posted, saying that using this sort of stuff undermines any argument. If you swear at people like this you are just going to look uneducated, stupid, and not worthy of any consideration.

This delightful poster will probably be there to back you up at 4 next Sunday, OP. 😂

This.
Don't worry, let it go.
Well done, by the way, I just read another thread where a man insulted a pregnant daughter in law.
Bastards are just not getting away with it anymore.

100 % agree with this.

Love to see women having the courage to stand up to these cowardly men.
There's no way he would have shouted at a bloke the same size as him . No way.
They do it because they know we've been socialized to be " nice" , agreeable and non confrontational.
Fuck them.

And DD needs to see a good model of a woman who doesn't just put up with mysoginistic shit because it's not " nice" to stand up for yourself.

I think the only thing I shouldn’t have done was react the way I did and go back to confront the man. What I don’t regret is going to the aisle to swap my item, as the sales assistant said it was fine to do so.

.... PS - What's a pearl clutcher?

"If someone stuck there finger in my face id be breaking it."

Don't be silly, she was just pointing, leaving a gap. It's not as if she picked her nose and smeared the bogie on his cardigan. 😅

Good for you getting this man telt. You are a QUEEN.

So what if you swore.

You behaved totally reasonably. Both in going to replace the item and in calling that arsehole out on his outrageously rude and threatening behaviour. Next time come to that store with your husband and watch the rude kunt fade into the background.