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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Regret causing a scene in Aldi

311 replies

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 16:51

I went to Aldi earlier. While I was scanning an item at the self checkout, the price was more expensive than the price on the sticker on the shelf. I asked the assistant if I could quickly go back to swap it. I was away for only about 2 minutes.

When I came back to the till, there was a man arguing with the assistant, saying she had to remove my items so he could use the till. I explained that the items were mine and that I had just gone back to swap something. He started shouting at me, saying I had “jumped the queue” and that I shouldn’t go to the till until I had finished my shopping.

I stayed quiet for a few moments. When he was in the queue, I approached him and pointed my finger, saying, “don’t fucking speak to me like that again, or at any woman.” He shouted at me in response, telling me not to point my finger or swear at him. I said, “You’ve chosen the wrong person to be rude to,” and went back to DD.

We finished paying at the same time, and he was walking close behind me, looking at me. I said, “I didn’t appreciate you shouting at me in front of my child.” He then said, “I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

As time has passed, I regret my actions and wish I had just stayed quiet.

OP posts:
shuggles · 08/02/2026 17:36

@MassiveWordSalad The point is that some men will decide to bully a woman who is not a physical threat (unlike say, a huge bodybuilder) and socialised to be “nice” because they’re cowardly misogynists.

Do you never go outside..? The overwhelming majority of anger and aggression from men is directed towards other men, not women.

A huge bodybuilder is not a physical threat, because physical assault in a public place is illegal. What a bizarre way to think. That's like something from a school playground.

The physical threat in public comes from groups of yobs who have their faces covered and who are hunched over with their hands in their pockets. Because there's a group of them and they are likely to be armed with knives. Those are the people I avoid.

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:36

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:32

There were no other children around, and my DD is 9.
I’ve said it multiple times, but I feel really ashamed and awful, and I regret swearing.

Don’t be silly. A swear word is just a word, he was nasty and aggressive to you and it was deserved.

He was probably shaking and heart pounding when you dared to challenge him, so well done.

Maybe next time he’ll think twice before bullying members of staff and women with their children!

ImPamDoove · 08/02/2026 17:37

Why did you go from zero to shouty aggressive loon? And what the fuck has ‘or any woman’ got to do with anything? I’m embarrassed for you. You’ve shown your daughter a terrible example of dealing with conflict and could’ve handled his reaction SO much better.

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:37

MrsPinkSky · 08/02/2026 17:33

Everyone in supermarkets 'shouts' on Mumsnet.

Customers, cashiers, shelf stackers, customer service staff and trolley collectors 😁

I've yet to see a thread where someone said something annoying/nasty in a normal voice.

I have to disagree with you. People on Mumsnet don’t all shout - a significant proportion ‘scream’. 🤣🤣

MassiveWordSalad · 08/02/2026 17:37

NotnowMildrid · 08/02/2026 17:32

Bravo, well done for teaching your 4 year old DD to swear at people in an argument.

Im sure OP will have explained to her DD that this was wrong and apologised 🙄 Unless the OP is dropping f-bombs into every other sentence every day I’m sure her daughter isn’t going to turn into Ray Winston.

aredrosegrewup · 08/02/2026 17:37

Gotmyoldshoeson · 08/02/2026 16:56

He was a twat.

Having said that two mins is a long time to be holding up a queue to be swapping something.

Personally if there were no staff to swap it, I’d have just left it.

Why should she leave it? This is the issue with the shops encouraging self-serve tills. There's only one member of staff who can't leave.

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:38

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:36

Don’t be silly. A swear word is just a word, he was nasty and aggressive to you and it was deserved.

He was probably shaking and heart pounding when you dared to challenge him, so well done.

Maybe next time he’ll think twice before bullying members of staff and women with their children!

Edited

He was probably shaking with laughter at what a total arse the OP made of herself.

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:38

Gahr · 08/02/2026 17:29

I don't know. I think that using fowl language is better than chickening out!

OP, you did nothing wrong. Ok, so maybe the swearing wasn't ideal, but who cares! He was incredibly rude and he deserved a telling off.

Bravo!😂I cracked up

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 08/02/2026 17:39

He sounds like a twat but you were rude swearing at him and pointing at him. Why did you need to swear? You could have said everything without swearing. And it is annoying when someone wanders off leaving their shopping.
On the other hand I don't think you need to worry about it. I'm sure he's not.

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:39

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:38

He was probably shaking with laughter at what a total arse the OP made of herself.

I really don’t see how she made an area of herself, she was antagonised and didn’t sit there and take it.

PullTheBricksDown · 08/02/2026 17:39

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:35

No doubt she will be telling all her friends in school tomorrow how her mummy behaved in the supermarket 🤣🤣

Yes @Liiz92 I would go and listen to Harper Valley PTA 😎

tennismae · 08/02/2026 17:40

you sound... rough

TimeForATerf · 08/02/2026 17:40

“I’ll see you here at 4pm next Sunday.” I said I wasn't from the area so no chance and continued walking to my car.

I would have said “is your life that fucking sad and boring you go to the same supermarket, at the same time, on the same day, every week?”

Then flounced off. Admittedly I’m a bit feisty these days but I absolutely detest some men that speak to women like shit. He deserved what you gave him.

Why do you feel ashamed? Because you are conditioned to be nice. Don’t worry, when your hormones dry up, you won’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. There’s something quite liberating about being menopausal.

LakieLady · 08/02/2026 17:40

Nah, he needed telling.

I bet he wouldn't have challenged another man in the same circumstances.

MrsPinkSky · 08/02/2026 17:41

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:36

Don’t be silly. A swear word is just a word, he was nasty and aggressive to you and it was deserved.

He was probably shaking and heart pounding when you dared to challenge him, so well done.

Maybe next time he’ll think twice before bullying members of staff and women with their children!

Edited

He was probably shaking and heart pounding when you dared to challenge him, so well done.

That's a massive reach 🤣

Do you really think this was the guy's first rodeo and no-one in the history of the world has ever answered him back or sworn at him?

Blimey.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/02/2026 17:42

I would have let it end when the assistant sent him to the back of the queue.
There was no reason to go back, point a finger at him and swear AND then follow him out and publicly berate him some more. Especially with your daughter in tow.

He could have decided to stab you and your daughter right there outside Aldi. You wouldn’t have deserved it, but I would not brag about deliberately pushing an already irate and potentially violent man closer to the edge. It’s not something I’d ever advise doing.

Rasperry · 08/02/2026 17:42

MrsPinkSky · 08/02/2026 17:41

He was probably shaking and heart pounding when you dared to challenge him, so well done.

That's a massive reach 🤣

Do you really think this was the guy's first rodeo and no-one in the history of the world has ever answered him back or sworn at him?

Blimey.

Not really. if he was even following op as she was leaving the shop, safe to say his feathers were ruffled.

am challenging her to a fight with 9pm in tow… scheduled a full 7 days later.

Not much of a tough guy.

TulipTuesday · 08/02/2026 17:43

Idleplum · 08/02/2026 17:00

You could have said “don’t speak to me like that”. But you you using fowl language and bemoaning how someone else speaks in front of your child is somewhat hypocritical and makes you look a bit stupid.

He sounds like an arse but so were you.

Surely fowl language would have been calling him a cock.

365RubyRed · 08/02/2026 17:43

I wouldn't have sworn at him but well done for standing up to the revolting little bully.

MrsJeanLuc · 08/02/2026 17:43

ImPamDoove · 08/02/2026 17:37

Why did you go from zero to shouty aggressive loon? And what the fuck has ‘or any woman’ got to do with anything? I’m embarrassed for you. You’ve shown your daughter a terrible example of dealing with conflict and could’ve handled his reaction SO much better.

Oh get down off your high horse!

@Liiz92 you stood up for yourself - that's not easy to do in the moment.
OK, so you wish you'd done it differently - so own it, learn from it, and move on. Next time you might be able to stand up for yourself without losing your rag - that's the difference between "assertive" and "aggressive".

I still think (like most of the pps here) that it was good that you stood up for yourself, that it is a positive behaviour to model for your DD, and you would have regretted it if you hadn't.

Liiz92 · 08/02/2026 17:44

Growlybear83 · 08/02/2026 17:38

He was probably shaking with laughter at what a total arse the OP made of herself.

He wasn’t. His face dropped when I confronted him. He looked very surprised that I waited a few moments before speaking to him and didn't just 'leave it'. His face actually changed colour, it went pale after being red when he was shouting at me. He probably didn’t expect me to revisit the situation again. But who knows maybe he was shaking with laughter on the inside.

Nevertheless, I do think I made a total arse out of myself.

OP posts:
SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/02/2026 17:44

LakieLady · 08/02/2026 17:40

Nah, he needed telling.

I bet he wouldn't have challenged another man in the same circumstances.

His sort probably would and if the man walked back to to tell him off in the queue and then followed him out of Aldi that would have been a common cue start flinging punches or stabs. Bullies don’t start being bullies in Aldi fgs.

LaMarschallin · 08/02/2026 17:44

I thought the only supermarket where you hear fowl language is the Coop.

ImPamDoove · 08/02/2026 17:45

MrsJeanLuc · 08/02/2026 17:43

Oh get down off your high horse!

@Liiz92 you stood up for yourself - that's not easy to do in the moment.
OK, so you wish you'd done it differently - so own it, learn from it, and move on. Next time you might be able to stand up for yourself without losing your rag - that's the difference between "assertive" and "aggressive".

I still think (like most of the pps here) that it was good that you stood up for yourself, that it is a positive behaviour to model for your DD, and you would have regretted it if you hadn't.

It’s not good to lose control over such nonsense and reduce herself to a sweary old fish wife who thinks she’s the Equaliser. Embarrassing.

WeatherDependant · 08/02/2026 17:45

I vote YABU , not because I disagree with you but people can be nutters - you don’t really know him and he could’ve done something awful. I’d be wary to protect my child from a lunatic rather than care about swearing-
its just not worth the risk. FWIW - i swear loads and can be confrontational but you should 100% be careful