To think the age of consent should be raised to 18 if there is a significant age gap?

[Waitingforthesunnydays]

Watched a documentary recently where a 16-year-old girl was preyed on by a 24-year-old man online. He was controlling and abusive and convinced her to move hundreds of miles away from her family with him. Obviously, being 16, she thought she was in love and didn’t see the abuse for what it was. Her mum and the police could do nothing about it cos she was 16. Made me think, AIBU to think the age of consent should be 18 if one of the people involved is more than 4 or 5 years older than the other? Makes sense to me. Lots of 16 year olds are so naive and inexperienced and have no idea how to spot abusive behaviour. Many have a romanised idea of love and think the behaviour is a sign of being in love rather than control & abuse

I am honestly thankful that I met him at 15. It’s lovely now as our kids are all grown up and flown the nest, having lovely lives.
My kids are both in solid relationships at 21 and 27. His daughter is too at 31.
i don’t think increasing the age of consent would be a good thing. 15/16 yr old will always have sex.

Hi all

I hope you don’t mind me posting on this, I haven’t been on Mumsnet for years so forgive me if I get the etiquette wrong. I have been writing about age of consent based on personal experience, and someone pointed me in this direction.

I have a child who is now older than I was when I was groomed as a 15 year old, which is partly what motivated me to address something that happened well over 20 years ago now but has affected my life ever since. I am interested in people’s opinions, and have enjoyed reading the comments on this thread.

I would just like to leave this link to an open letter I wrote to the man who groomed me in case anyone is interested or has any ideas. Please do share.

Thank you 🙏🏽

https://medium.com/women-write/the-grey-area-i-was-15-when-you-first-kissed-me-and-you-were-37-98231ffd6a87

I think you should start a new thread. This is an old one, so your post might not be seen.

Off to read your article. 💗

Ok @DuckiewasthefirstniceguyI will have a go at doing that too. Thank you so much 🌺

Nope Over the age of consent is just that. 👍. Not everyone going with someone older has been groomed.

Half your age plus seven should be the law.

I’m surprised there’s so much push back. In some USA states they have this with Romeo and Juliet provisions so if the age gap is 2-4 years it’s fine. There also should be laws about people in authority with younger children - not sure if there is but there was a case of a 16 year old moving in with her 40 something old teacher. The school let go of him but that was all that could be done as there was nothing illegal. The is was a few years ago so not sure of anything has changed.

I actually don’t disagree with you here. I can only speak for myself for that one particular circumstance. It is not the only relationship I’ve been in with an age gap (including at present), but this absolutely was grooming (buying a 15 year old alcohol for the purposes of a sexual relationship), and it really messed me up.

Two years ago my son and I were the same ages as myself and the man were at that time, and it churned my stomach to realise that, especially when one of his friends developed a crush on me.

I don't think it's a good idea. That age gap doesn't necessarily mean abuse is going on and it gives a confusing message to young people aged 16-28.