To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

[Onempretime7788]

I would have thought post 35 was rare

Wild how areas differ isn’t it. I’m In management now so definitely feel this is average in my area as i deal with the maternity leave requests/ flexible working requests etc so i feel i have a good awareness of our statistics at work as well as my own personal circles.

I had twins one week before my 43rd birthday. They will be 19 this year.

You also said you’ve just lost 7 stone 🤷‍♀️
do you know when you ovulate in your cycle? How long is your cycle? The length of your lutealmphase is quite important in fertility. Mine was around 9 days. One successful pregnant at 32 (after one miscarriage). Two years of ttc at 35 with two miscarriages and no viable pregnancy.

Don’t forget that historically many women didn’t live long enough to experience the menopause. If they didn’t die in childbirth they died of infectious diseases.

But you do sound judgemental though.

Someone having a baby at 44 probably has a lot more money than you.

According to the government statistics, the average age for first time mother is 29.6, compared to 29.0 in 1938.

I think it must be area/class dependent though, hence why many people view it is unusual in their area/circle of friends to be having a baby under 35. The more highly educated women are, the more likely they are to delay have a baby due to studying, building a career or wanting to be in a better financial position. They are also more likely to be aware and careful about contraception.

In other areas/groups there are large number of teenagers/early 20s having babies and that is seen as normal. Arguably people with a lower level of education are more likely to be ignorant or careless regarding contraception, and women are more likely to have children if they are not focused on a career.

Why?

Do you know how women's body's work?

The older you are the higher the rate of miscarriage, so about 20% in late 30s, rising to 40% in your 40s. So you might get pregnant but it doesn’t mean it will be a successful pregnancy. Also more chances of twins the older you are and age of parents (not just mum) can impact things like autism

Wow! Well done you. Wishing you all the best! 💗

Bet OP isn't surprised in the slightest at older dads though ...

Some people seem to be threatened by a woman having a life of her own before having children.

On Mumsnet everyone seems to wait till they are 35+ to even start trying.

In real life I know one person who has a primary schooler in her 50’s and that was a 5th child.

In our friendship group everyone was done by 36 and strangely most of the men snipped.

Is it really ‘the norm in professional circles in London’ to have babies at 44?

I’m a senior level 48 yr old in London. The vast majority of senior women in my organisation with babies and toddlers are in their 30s.

I had my children at 28 and 31. My senior female colleagues in their 40s had children at 34-36. Only one had a child at 41, after 5 years of infertility treatment.

What decade are you living in? If you had asked that question in the 70's you may have been bank on but currently speaking, births to Mothers over 35 accounts for 26% of children born each year according to the national statistics. Women are allowed to have a life outside of being a Mother now!

Even my DGM was 38 when she had my DM in the 1950s!!!! Rare then but not now.

I had my last baby at 38, and honestly think people who do it at 40+ are insane, because it’s hard, we don’t have the bounce back recovery of 20-somethings, so you have to think very carefully about all the pros and cons to have children after 40.

Rare is defined by what's happening at population level not by the frequency with which an individual may have encountered something within their own bubble of experience. There's stats that will tell you exactly how common having a baby at 44, or over 35 really is.

I had my last at 42. No problem at all.

Same. In fact it was my easiest pregnancy and I was at a better place financially and could take 13 months off work which was wonderful 😊

I also think it depends a lot on personal fitness. There are mid/late 40s who feel that they couldn’t do the school run every morning or chase after a toddler, then it’s a wise decision not to get pregnant in your 40s. But there are also those who run marathons and wouldn’t be fazed at all by that.

If anything older fathers even less desirable. It's their dodgy sperm that is responsible for age related birth defects. Better an older mother and a younger father.

There are of course lots of examples of women having babies in their late 30s and early 40s - the title of this thread is 'To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44'. And so understandably women who have fallen pregnant in late 30s/early 40s have jumped on saying it happened to them.
If the title was something more like 'Did you have trouble falling pregnant in your late 30s/early 40s' the thread would attract a lot of different women who had different fertility journeys and unfortunately many have struggled in their late 30s/early 40s - a quick look at mumsnet's fertility pages is enough though to confirm this without starting a new thread!

I'm surprised at someone WANTING to be pregnant at 44, but it's not unusual. 😁

Good for you, not sure why you need to give your life story and totally overshare.

Wrong post