To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

[Onempretime7788]

I would have thought post 35 was rare

You’d have thought wrong. You’re being determinedly ignorant in the face of free access to knowledge, rather than unreasonable.

But statistically the % would be a lot lower by 43 than 40 and then again by 44. 40 is literally when for most women fertility significantly drops. Yes, not everyone is the same person but I don’t personally know anyone of 44 who has got pregnant. 43 yes, one. 42 several on the other hand.

Same.

Word to the wise I had no problem getting pregnant, but just couldn’t stay pregnant. Had to go to m/c unit for tests. Had my first at 34 second at 38 thanks to them. M/c in between, before and after.

Was healthy on face of it, with periods, ate well etc. so no you never know. At 38, I had geriatric mother on my notes.

I was still having periods at 54 so could technically I suppose have got pregnant then if I’d be trying. Probably wouldn’t have stayed pregnant though!

I knew someone who had her first and only age 45. Not planned. She's a great mum. DH parents were 40 and 42. He's in his 40s now and they're both still with us and have only needed care/support the last year.

It could well take longer than you think, and just because you have periods doesn't mean you or your partner don't have fertility issues, you'll only find out when you try and if you do have issues then the more time you have on your side, the more chance you have of a positive resolution.

FWIW, I had my first in my mid-30s, pregnant at a drop of a hat, so I was surprised when we started trying for a second at 38 and it took nearly a year of TTC before I got pregnant. You simply don't know until you try.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Unless you’ve had egg quality confirmed, that’s the most self absorbed, unaware answer I’ve read.

It’s not ‘that simple’ in practice. Or the boards here wouldn’t be full of people struggling.

And it absolutely is harder to get pregnant at 44. It’s around the age menopause starts developing signs in MANY women.

Was healthy on face of it, with periods, ate well etc. so no you never know. At 38, I had geriatric mother on my notes.

I had 'geriatric mother' and had shared MW/consultant care on my notes only for final child in my 40s. I repeatedly had the consultants and MWs asking why I was under shared care because I had a normal pregnancy with no negative indications (except my age but I looked young for my age).

Yes there were many cases in time, s gone by where a " late pregnancy " was actually a concealed teenage daughters pregnancy
However these days its not that common to become a grandparents in your late 40,s
If more and more women are having children in their mid to late 30,s ,they would be unlikely to become a grandparents until they are at least 60.

Yes, very naive.

No one uses the term geriatric mother anymore. Age is just added as a risk factor on your notes and you may have extra care but not always.

I think demographics play a huge part, London far more common for ‘older parents’, in the North alot more are ‘done’ by 35.

I have a professional job and i would say my own friendship group and my colleagues would average at starting TTC around 25. Finish uni at 21/22, a couple of years having fun,savings, holidays, houses then come the kids. Providing all goes well by around 30 most have had 1/2 and unless decide on a 3rd are done. Its definitely more unheard of to be staring at 35+ in my area unless IVF routes. I would also say the playground demographic reflects this too.

At 40+ i would be shocked yes and also suspect they had probably needed help.

I’d say 44 is not common but also not unheard of, but pregnancy post 35 is definitely not rare. No idea where you are based, but in many areas 35 is near average age even for the first child, and many have their second post 35.

You say this but my mother in law who is from the south east considered me to be ‘leaving it late’ and I had mine at 31 and 34. In comparison to my peers and most people at work I was a youngish mum. People look amazed when I tell them how old my kids are.

A lot of people just get into this weird self obsessed bubble of what they did being the ‘right thing’ and not noticing the rest of the world around them.

I only know 3 women who had babies in their 40s and all 3 were IVF.

Women have had children up until menopause for millennia. The average age of menopause is 51.

My grandma had my dad at age 44 and that was 92 years ago.

@x2boysbefore contraception was readily available, women would have babies until their bodies biologically couldn’t. Where my family originate from it’s still common to have 20+ year age gaps between oldest and youngest siblings. It’s not as common to you now because contraception is the norm here in the UK.

Most people I know are still single at 25 so don’t know who they’d be trying with 😂 I was the first person my generation that I knew to get married… I was 29. My friends are all just stating to get on with marriage now in their 30s. No babies yet.

To be fair, you’re posting crying laughing faces but 36 and 44 really aren’t the same when it comes to fertility!

Yes, I'm like that. My husband's had a vasectomy now, we're definitely done! I was very worried about 'accidents'. I had my last in my late thirties and conceived first time (as with the others). Just goes to show how variable and unpredictable it all can be.

But to be fair by 44 there’s a fair chance your vagina would have fallen out

🤣🤣

Post 35 is the norm now luv. Where have you been? I’m 43 and just had my first. We are both very healthy and happy. I am financially and emotionally stable and in a good relationship. I will be 44 in April. And guess what? Shock, horror! I will have another one too. Imagine! Being pregnant post 45!! The scandal! 🤣

Babies at 40 and up may be getting more common now due to delayed maternal age but that doesn't mean that physically, it is the best choice. The human female body is designed to be fertile for approximately 25-30 years. From teens to 40ish. Yes, some people are fertile from 11 and some are fertile up to 45ish. But the middle of that time frame is the most physically sensible time, biologically.

Pushing reproduction to the very end of the fertile window inevitably results in some of those pregnancies having problems. And some people waiting that late have problems conceiving because they're at the end of the fertility phase.

So some of those post 40 babies will be IVF, or from couples who have had fertility treatment.

What we want socially and culturally doesn't always mesh with our biology. Even socially, having a teenager heading off to uni as we are hitting retirement age doesn't seem logical. Having elderly parents to look after while we're still caring for children isn't the best time planning. Surely having a family young enough to have grandparents around who can assist and enjoy them makes more sense (I know not all grandparents are involved)?

Well yes but the older you get the harder becomes to conceive and carry babies to term.
Of course it happens but its not that common.