To be surprised at someone being pregnant at 44

[Onempretime7788]

I would have thought post 35 was rare

Personal preference though isn’t it. I wouldn’t have a baby past 35 but wouldn’t judge someone who does

You should come to my corner of west London, all the parents are ancient.

I currently know a 45 year old pregnant with her first, a 43 year old pregnant with her first - two others aged 41 pregnant with their second. I know of several thinking about their second in their 40s. About 50% of pregnancies seem to be IVF.

Having a baby under 30 is basically unheard of round here. Most of the nursery parents I know are in their early 40s - and some of the dads even older again!

It is quite extreme - cost of living, I suppose!

My dad was born in 1932 . His mum was 43 and dad was 56 ! Her first baby was born when she was 19 . So my dad had siblings that were old enough to be his parents , and he was an uncle as a baby .

The dramatic turn actually takes place closer to 40 than 35. It’s based off very old data that it falls off a cliff at 35. Unfortunately for me I got pregnant first try at 32 with my first and was basically infertile by 34 and needed IVF . But i know my situation is unusual because i looked into it extensively because of my situation. I watched nearly all my friends and family get pregnant no problem after 35 including my own mother who had no issues having me at 38. It’s important to be aware there may be issues if you leave it longer. But some women will have issues closer to 30. Most women can still have a healthy pregnancy before they are 40 when you look at the actual data.

44 (naturally) is rare, yes - although hardly hold-the-front-page rare. 35-40, not at all. In some middle-class professional (and living in the expensive south east) circles, having them UNDER 35 is viewed as a bit chavvy.

Yes. I think it’s unusual to have a child at 44.

I'm sure you'll be fine but please don't be so nieve........
I think its 1:4 babies are now conceived via IVF, its just that most people dont feel the need to tell everyone their medical history....

I think as long as you’re still having periods you can get pregnant in your 40s and even 50s. Someone called Jean Twenge wrote a book about getting pregnant later in life. Apparently lots of the statistics for pregnancies are from a long time ago so doesn’t necessarily count now.

Would I have a baby in my 40s? Unsure. I’m over that age anyway. But I wouldn’t judge certainly not.

Just to add the stats, 67% of 39 year olds will get pregnant within one year. And around 50% of 40-43 year olds will within one year.

Most of my circle (London) were older parents, including me at late 30s

I had a surprise 4th baby at almost 42 and my twin cousins had babies at both 43 and 44. It's not as unusual as you think. No IVF.

I started trying at 38 (almost 39) and husband was 37. I was slim, healthy, non smoker, rarely drank alcohol, and had like clockwork periods and always ovulated every month. I’m 45 now and never managed to have children (have given up now). Had few pregnancies that ended in miscarriage and had a few rounds of IVF which produced average embryos. But they either failed or also ended in miscarriage.

So while I appreciate plenty of women are able to have children later in life, I agree that I wouldn’t take being healthy and having regular periods is a guarantee it will work. I wouldn’t tell people to rush into having children when they’re not ready, but if you’re heading towards late 30s personally I wouldn’t wait long.

I looked young, was healthy and super fit, and had regular periods and started trying at 35. Ended up needing ivf at 38 and had my boys at 39. Honestly I was naive that it was going to be easy, just like you. I agree that you should start now because it will not happen straight away. Your egg quality is declining dramatically every month after 35.

Start now

You have 4 kids though and several grandchildren . It’s all well and good saying Christ on a bike in your situation but what if you never met a partner until later in life through reasons out of your control and never had the experience of having a child and always wanted one. I suppose you just don’t know until you are in the situation. I’m quite tired at 38 with a baby and the idea of having one at 44 doesn’t seem appealing at all when I think of it. but I might think differently if I had no kids at that age. I always find it gas when people act as though everyone has a choice to have kids younger if they want. It’s not just something you can decide to do whenever you want.

35 isn’t rare at all! 44 I would say rarer but not unheard of. There are often reasons why someone has got pregnant at a later stage - meeting partner later, infertility etc. it’s not always their first choice I’d imagine.

Millianials were told to have everything sorted financially before having children. It's no surprise they are having them later or not at all.

I had all of my three in my late 30s / early 40s and got pregnant the first month of trying each time. At 55 I'm still having periods so I was clearly a long way from the menopause back then. Both my grandmothers had pregnancies in their late 30s, my Mum didn't but she also had a late menopause so would have been capable of it.

37 when I had my first… I was the average on my NCT group with oldest 40. 44 may be on the older side - but post 35 very common - especially with professional women

Well its not that common tbf
35 + though yeah their care loads of women hsving children in their mid to late 30,s

I think 44 is unusual. But over 35 ‘rare’? Do you live in a cave somewhere with no contact with the outside world?

Yes. I would say it wasn’t the norm to have your first baby at 44.

Thats great but not everyone is so lucky
My cousin had her first child a year ago aged 46 but had been trying for years and the baby was conceived via IVF.

Did she also have a teenage unmarried daughter? All my daughter’s grandparents were late 40s or age 50 when she was born. Only on Mumsnet is 40+ considered a normal age to become a mum and 50 is considered a young grandparent when it isn’t.

I got pregnant on the second month of ttc at 35 with my first. I had 2 miscarriages at 38 and 39 close together (one at 20 weeks) and then had a second baby at just turned 40. Had I waited until 36/37 or longer I’d likely only have the one. I got pregnant very easily each time but that’s only half the battle.

Same. My mum had periods untill later than usual also. I still have regular as clockwork periods at almost 45 and had my children at 32, 34, 37 and 42 (just shy). I also had a pregnancy at 39 which didn't go to term. Needless to say husband has had a vasectomy.

I realise this isn't the case for everyone and isn't super common but I do know of at least 5 women locally having children as late as 43/44.