I was snobby, apparently

[Rayners]

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

Hang on, how is eating burgers and watching your parents drink pints NOT the boring holiday out of the two options? As a child I was taken on holidays like yours and your sisters and I know which ones I found most memorable.

Ooh a bit defensive. I was literally talking about both sides 😂

😂

This is a dilemma we have right now. My husband and youngest (9) want a beach/pool/entertainment holiday and my eldest (11) wants to go to Berlin/Rome (which to be fair I’d probably choose too). My youngest simply wouldn’t tolerate days and days of walking in the heat, my eldest will moan on day 3 of a package holiday about being bored.

Not sure what to do. We can’t really afford to do both.

I’m with you OP.
Sisters holiday sounds like a hell I’d pay to avoid… yours sounds lovely.
IDGAF if that makes me a snob too
Frankly- sounds like the sister can’t take what she dishes out.

We did 4 days in Istanbul and 4 days in a Turkish holiday resort. It was a brilliant mix.

Go to eurocamp in Rome! We went 2 years ago and it was the best of both worlds - some days we stayed in the park and the kids went in the pool/did kids club and then we did a day trip to the beach (which both kids enjoyed), and a day trip to Rome/Vatican City which DS1 (then 8) loved but was a bit much/hot for DS2 (then 4) and poor DH just had to carry him everywhere.

I would prefer your holiday OP but my DC would enjoy both now that DS2 is a bit older.

I take my little one on the types of holidays you seem to enjoy and he has a whale of a time. I too have comments from people who only do the all inclusive kid-centric holidays, concerned with how bored he must be etc. I just think some people find it hard to imagine that adults and children can enjoy all sorts of holidays. It sounds like you had to put up with lots of needling about your holiday before you passed the comment.

We did that sort of thing a lot too - 3 days in a city, 4 days somewhere with a beach or pool. And no moaning allowed because each kid was getting part of what they liked best so needed to be nice about the other kids' time.

@ThisIsAGlobalPlayerOriginalPodcast It's honestly not to hard in a lot of places to do a split holiday, and it makes everyone happier.

There's a lot of people being unfair to the OP. She didn't respond negatively until she was pushed. I'm sick of people who can mouth off about other' s situations but can't take it themselves if they're called out. Anyway, if someone could make it clear for me what's the difference between snobbery and having standards? I'll get the popcorn 😍

A little but not super snobby. Also not untrue.

I enjoy both types of holidays - we always do more of your kind, but plan on having a proper lazy resort-style ‘kid either in pool or at the ice cream bar’ one next.
The fact she was going on and on about mine looking boring would’ve made me retaliate too, and I’d prob have said much worse…

The Butlins comment wasn't snobby, parts of the North Norfolk coast gets called Chelsea-sur-Mer, no different really. Both are accurate descriptors.

I would prefer your holiday OP, your sisters holiday isn’t my idea of a holiday but I wouldn’t have told her that, she was wrong to say your holiday looked boring. People like different things and that’s ok. They had a great time and you had a great time, you just did things differently.

It's not Berlin/Rome, but if you're happy with another city and want some history and scenic streets etc, how about Croatia or other Adriatic-coast countries? I've been a few times and love it because you can spend one day on the beach and the next exploring Roman ruins/Byzantine churches/streets lined with Habsburg-era buildings etc.

Your sister is insecure and in order for her to feel superior she knocked your holiday and when you did not immediately bow down to her she proded and poked until you reacted and now you are the bad guy. I guess she does this a lot huh? The 'you are trying to be something that you are not' part had me sniggering cos that is exactly the retort a seriously insecure person would come out with. Ignore her. Shes ranting and raving to anyone with ears to cover the fact that she was bloody rude.

Your holiday sounds fab by the way.

And if you don't mind a bit of driving, being about halfway between somewhere like Nimes and the sea is a good choice. Nimes and the Pont du Gard sparked a years long love of all things Roman in my eldest from when he was about six (another one of those pesky kids who quite like historical sites etc).

Pont du Gard would be especially good for you as it combined ancient stuff and a decent museum with being able to play in the river, etc.

It sounds like she was trying to look for problems by demanding to see all of your photos, that was incredibly rude of her.
You both sound very different, and after the digs from her, I would have probably snapped back a comment too. I hate people who make nasty comments, then if you react in any way you become the person who is the problem. She shouldn’t have dished it out if she couldn’t take it!

To be honest, yes it was obviously a snobby thing to say, however if someone was badgering me about how boring my holiday was I’d snap and say something similar, regardless of whether or not I meant it so I do empathise with you OP!

Just agree to differ and smile. You’re the grown up sibling then.

She was nasty saying your holiday was boring but then you were equally nasty basically calling her common.

@ThisIsAGlobalPlayerOriginalPodcast But you don’t want 14 days in Berlin or Rome do you? Go to them when it’s cooler. Do summer holidays that are more relaxed. Shame older dc misses out if he’s interested in history.

If you don’t like being called snobby then don’t make snobby comments, problem solved.

You both sound judgemental and unpleasant.

As i child i had many a misrable holiday having to look at things like castles etc ,walks, I truly hated them, I longed to go on fun holidays (the type your sister took her family on)
I used to see friends photos from holidays splashing about in pools,yet I'd been trudged around Scotland site seeing bored and misrable and wet. I actually at 7 asked my mum if we could go to butlins as it looked far more fun.
Iam team your sister here, and yes your comment about her holiday looking like butlins was snobby, do you think you're a cut above her,because your holidays are educational

FFS the PPs saying you sound snobby must really enjoy an AI holiday abroad.

And that's ok if that's your thing. One PP even mentioned bingo and a pint. Which I've got to be honest I'd rather chew my own arm off than go on a holiday like that.

You said nothing wrong OP your DS pushed you into a reaction. Maybe because deep down she feels sitting by a pool all day getting pissed while her kids eat shit and go to kids club it's not as good as yours?

Who knows? Who cares?

Smile and wave OP. Smile and wave!