AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

The cringe I cringed when I read that 😖

There isnt the money for basics these days. You want it, you fund it.

I think you might be thinking about yourself too much

You sound unnaturally obsessed with this TBH. It’s all very well finding things about yourself interesting but it should all be a small part of your day, otherwise you’ll come across as a tedious narcissist! Why does your husband think you’re autistic? Is this stopping you working etc?

There is obviously no public money for naval gazing. Most clever ND people don't bother analysing the way their brain works but use their unique thinking skills and pattern recognition to excel in a specific field.

The closest to what OP is describing would be one of those self-proclaimed Tiktok ADHD or ASD coaches. Basically people who take your money in exchange for telling you how amazing you are and giving some basic tips on life organisation.

Hot take: yes you might have some kind of neurodiversity but it just doesn't matter that much. Your brain works how your brain works regardless of giving it some label.

If its just self exploration rather than having a suspected condition then no, you won't get that on the NHS, you will have to pay for that privately, and it will likely be expensive.

Sounds like you need to pay to train in that field of education if it’s an interest of yours.

Are you happy in your life? It sounds like you’re over analysing and looking for answers that perhaps don’t exist.

Everyone’s brain works differently because it’s a combination of genetics, biology, development and social and environmental input. You’re looking to understand the workings of your brain but you sit within the “normal” realms.

Brain scans are extremely expensive, how much money do you have to throw at this exploration?

You definitely sound ND, despite your protests to the contrary. Also, this is the UK, so we don’t all go to therapy for every tiny whimsical reason, unlike the USA 🤷‍♀️ I’m pretty sure you can find someone who will happily take your money to indulge you 🙃

"the other thing is that most of my social behaviours have a logical explanation rooted in my own personal preference"

Are you saying you dont have an emotional response OP? If so that could be ND, or antisocial personality disorder. But if it doesn't actually effect your life, who cares? Are you unintentionally hurting people you care about? Or finding that people cant relate to you and that hampers your ability to get stuff done? It doesn't sound like it, but if it does then thats a case for finding out more.

She can’t afford that. She wants it for free on the NHS or cheap private.

Sometimes I wonder if people would be happier if they thought less! Overthinking doesn't bring happiness imo. Maybe accept yourself as you are and just get stuck into living your life if you're physically and mentally fit and well?

I actually didn’t find my own inner workings that fascinating until my husband told me in no uncertain terms I was strange.

he also thought there was inherently wrong with me me because I stained my PJs with period blood but I digress.

I have a selective emotional response .

so I can feel things (and very intensely) but I choose who to feel them for.

Sign up for a degree, read some books, do some research. From what you say you have all these skills available and the motivation, so what’s stopping you?

What you have there is a DH problem.

He doesn't sound like a reliable source of information then.

Nope I don’t want it for free… and I guess I can spend up to £3k if I’m convinced they can offer me what I’m looking for.

but maybe I should just go to the US and get it done there, and would have a holiday on top.

It’s actually not my key area of interest and I would rather use that time in pursuing other degrees (which I’m currently considering).

I'm beginning to wonder if you've been gaslight by your husband into thinking there's something wrong with you.

Have no idea what your talking about

Same. Are you are trying to remodel his criticism into something you can evidence as valuable?

Congratulation on you perceived higher intelligent curiosity... its not a medical issue.

Have you tried applying to mensa or even just universities to expand your mind and occupy your curiosity or widen your social circle?

Honestly, like most you will likely find at the point of a step up that you where a simply a big fish in a little pond and when jumping into the wider river your really not all that big at all.

Perhaps you’d be best focusing on one thing at a time and embracing it. Are you a procrastinator? Do you struggle to focus?

What do you want the outcome to be at the end of whatever it is you want happens?