AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

I think you are suffering from OEI.
Obsessive Extreme Introspection

But what exactly are you looking for?! You really aren’t explaining it to us in a way we can comprehend, and all the suggestions being put forward your are closing down.
Are you bored this morning?

Ah OK that choice element is steering away from ND then. This is what I found for what you are describing, and if its the case I'm sure there are lots of research institutes who would like to study you:

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) / Psychopathy: This is the primary disorder characterized by a "callous and unemotional" nature. Individuals with high-functioning ASPD or psychopathic traits can consciously mimic emotions (superficial charm) and switch off feelings like empathy, guilt, or remorse in a deliberate, logical manner to achieve specific goals, such as manipulation or exploitation. They have high cognitive control over their responses and often show low emotional activation.

There may be a DH issue too who knows, but just from this thread, I’d agree OP is strange. Not in the ways she thinks but in how she thinks it makes her exceptional and so on. Even how she mentions the PJ thing is strange - sure it reflects poorly on him but it’s a weird nugget to chuck into the thread at this point. She may well be ND and 3k could cover an ASD assessment at some private clinics if she wants to start there, but it wouldn’t go far on anything deeper either here or in the US.

To some extent you could argue that all emotions have a basis in logic. If you are serious, you could look at Autism assessment from a private service that offers a range of therapeutic interventions. A diagnostic outcome may help you to find the right therapist or treatment.

He doesn't sound particularly understanding either.

So I’ve even looked into that one! But because I have a strong moral compass and the life goal of always helping as much as I can, I don’t fit the profile.

Your post is unclear. If you want advice please state your needs clearly.

I’ve been a member of MENSA

You could do something like Myers Briggs as a budget way to explain to you how you function.

reading through everything you say you don’t want depth or full psychology so this would fit.

Says ?

Thats not the case. You choose to have that moral compass, and you choose to do good. There are lots of successful psychopaths doing the same thing because, logically, doing those things is also good for them (achievement, social standing etc). I wouldn't discount this, especially as it links to high cognitive abilities.

The psychiatrist I spoke with donkey years ago.

I consulted him because of the things I started to see.

I wish I had his number as he has super helpful.

Jimmy Savile for one.

Well my dad is a psychopath in prison because of his psychopath ways. I don’t see myself in him

When I want confirmation that I'm super special, I usually just ask my Mum. HTH

And I wasn't being facetious about institutes wanting to study this. This is a very under researched area with women!

Sorry OP but you sound like maybe you need to see a psychiatrist as you’re having some kind of hallucinations/ loss of reality.

As a woman it stands to reason you would present differently to him. If you want to truly understand your make up it might require being open to possibilities like this, although I can totally understand that might be difficult.

Didn't get the problem upon reading your original post tbh. I think we all are entitiled to feeling like we might need help, though I don't really get what kind of help you want to get and why.

OP, this is a bit of a goady thread, but I think that the fact it feels tha way is part of the issue you are actually talking about.

I think it makes perfect sense that government-funded support prioritises those who are struggling (which I don’t think you are arguing against).

There are two further issues. First, a market one. The uk is not big enough or rich enough to lead to a critical mass of rich, highly gifted people to create sufficient demand for private services and expertise. Second, there is a culture issue- the tendency of downplaying or even deriding differences that are basically seen as being advantageous. So you are seen as doing something wrong to people just by saying out loud that you are gifted (or beautiful/ brilliant at x/ rich etc), never mind studying it. It is very important in the uk to be modest and not be full of yourself/self congratulatory. There is a strong desire to take people down a peg or two… The US by contrast tends to go the other way…. Too far, I’d say.

I can imagine these three issues combined make it difficult for you to find the right place to satisfy your curiosity in the uk.

As you are able to pay privately, why not have an assessment with a clinical psychologist and tell them everything you experience. They can tell you if you meet a criteria for a diagnosis. Then you can go deeper with a specialist in that area to further explore it?

What you are looking for is a full neuropsychological assessment and report.

I am in the US and 2 out of 3 of my children have had such an assessment/report in their late teens/early 20s. It involved giving a long history including academic progress, loads of cognitive and psychological tests. It took a full day (spread over 2 days). The assessments/reports were incredibly helpful in terms of showing how their brains work and how to play to that - which I think is what you are looking for. I often think I should offer to pay for my third child/young adult to have one even though she has absolutely no issues at all as they provided very useful insights. It was expensive.

Surely there is a neuropsychologist in the UK who would do this for you if you pay for it. They can't all be focused on rehab.

Well you wouldn’t, would you? You’d make different choices, and think you were different and special in other ways. But again, odd thing to drop in at this point.

“I’m thriving and gifted and exceptional but incredibly miffed at understandable lack of resources for assessing my brain for vague reasons - oh and I’ve got a period stain on my PJs and my dad’s a psychopath in prison.”

Gonna back away from this thread now…

Right - so basically you think you are incredibly bright/clever and now you want someone to tell you WHY you are? To 'map' out your brain to tell you how it works? Twice exceptional is only really a phrase ive heard used in america - and used to describe her child who apparently was some genius and could read at 4...