AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

The lack of academic research? I have three feeds into my email with a post at least daily listing the latest psychological and neuropsychological research.

Just the day before yesterday I was so pleased for people with Long Covid and ME to read the research which has identified how their brains are working differently from other people's, and that the two conditions are different. At least now people won't be able to say it's all psychosomatic.

You really aren't looking very far in your research, it would seem.

There's potential that when you've described yourself and what you think they'd be looking at, they don't see you as that unique, though.

If you truly were a bit of a unicorn, any scientist worth their salt would at least want to meet you to see if there was something they could discover, study or publish.

I mean specifically into “giftedness” in adults. Not neuropsychologist in general.

Yes exactly! The symptoms are very similar and many have both, it’s called “twice exceptional”.

The differences AFAIk are nuanced. Like with the brain not stopping, I like it, and don’t find it to be “noise”.

I’m definitely not an expert but that’s my understanding.

How do you think I know that there are people who can remember exactly what happened on any given date they've been alive?

Giftedness is studied a lot.

You aren't especially gifted, that's why nobody wants to study you. And why the devil you think the NHS should be spending any money on you is completely beyond me other than that your further posts are pointing more and more strongly to narcissism.

I know loads of people like this. Being trilingual isn't that unusual among migrants. At my (highly ranked) university most of the international students were trilingual, could focus for hours, sought knowledge for its own sake etc.

Are you perhaps from a poorer community where these traits are less common? I am imagine if you lived within a community of like minded people you wouldn't have developed this habit of regarding yourself as special (which most other people will consider to be an irritating manifestation of arrogance).

Yes - Long Covid has been identified as similar to post concussion syndrome (and I've had plenty of experience of post concussion syndrome unfortunately 😕), so I know how debilitating it is.

There's now been a theory that Long Covid can have treatment similar to concussion patients, which might help recovery. I remember reading a study about it too.

I find it all fascinating. They have new brain scanning techniques at incredibly detailed level and they have spotted that the neurons are depleting their energy and then not refilling again. That's my layman's terms anyway 😆

My mum was fully trilingual and was also fluent in a couple of other languages. It meant that the Free French could make use of her language talents during the war.

She also had the same kind of intellectual curiosity that you do and was very intelligent and cultured.

The difference is that she didn't go around telling everyone how "special" she was.

Nope!

I come from an upper middle class background. Where we all do tend to be bilingual (to varying degrees) but not so much the third language.

both parents speak three languages, so environmentally not that uncommon either.

we do ALL love ourselves potentially too much from both sides of the family.

to my grandmother her extended family were a “flock of idiots”, my father most certainly thought everyone but was subnormal. One uncle remained unemployed for many years because nothing compared to the job that moved him to Tokyo.

My other uncle, actually did have patents and he worked on one of the original PCs in Silicon Valley. He ended up having a meltdown and was sectioned. He never fully recovered, but he was most certainly a lovely bright man.

I'd agree with a pp that genuinely exceptional individuals tend to be sought out by experts, rather than having to go looking for them. I have a relative who is basically a genius - insanely talented in music & maths but many other things, along with some unusual traits. People who teach him tend to promptly pass messages back to his mum & dad saying things like "he's really beyond me, he needs something different... can i put you in touch with professor x at the university or dr x at this clinic". It has been this way since he was about 7, he gets asked to join studies or gets singled out for stuff.

OP it sounds like we could be good friends in real life! I love that you pursue knowledge, and I am also someone who loves talking about ideas rather than things! I am currently learning Scottish gaelic and Levantine Arabic just because I love stretching my brain, rather than needing to learn it. It sounds like your own brain is something you want to learn about, and you've had some great suggestions here such as the medical route (autism, antisocial personality disorder) or exploratory route (full psych report in US, psychotherapy here). What are you leaning towards right now?

My eldest DD is also incredibly fortunate to be extremely intelligent, Oxbridge material, and I get surprised at just how much intellectual ability she has - she consistently comes home given a 100% score in her tested work (she's in her first year of GCSEs, probably on track for almost all 9s).

She's really modest too though, and has never been one to boast about her abilities at all. I find it very endearing to see such a young modest person who is really probably brighter than most people I know.

(Yes, i guess I am being a proud mum for saying all of this, but I'm not trying to boast, just say how proud I am. And that she's not arrogant in the slightest).

Wrong thread

Well that’s how I got identified!

I’m also a research subject at UCLH (for a different matter) but had to email different professors once I had my IRIDA diagnosis.

How about you? What have you achieved/created/invented?

What about seeing a performance psychologist? This is what I do and we see lots of people who are doing absolutely fine but want to use psychological tools to thrive and reach their potential.

Well I’m on waiting list for ASD, so I’ll do it once it’s my turn.

Ill keep looking for a neuropsychologist in the meantime.

Side note, I’m also interested in Scottish Gaelic, I still have dictionary somewhere and I’m a member of that sub on Reddit.

What the devil has inherited iron deficiency got to do with being gifted?

OK we've got there in the end I think. You already know you're ASD and it sounds like you're also ADHD.

So in fact you're ND, not "gifted"and there are in fact an awful lot of us!

I'd be careful in the wider world talking like you have on this thread. It comes across as raging narcissism (you may have that too) and isn't generally taken very well in the UK.

Try Welsh next time you're bored, such a fun language!

No, I am gifted (that’s a known fact, if you don’t accept it that nor here nor there for me). I could also have ASD which would mean I’m what it’s called “twice exceptional” or 2e for short.

Glè mhath! I hope you find the answers you need. In the meantime, make sure you're getting the intellectual stimulation you need from somewhere. I like to have a few different projects on the go, something 'book' learny, something creative like learning a new craft, and something that gives back (which it sounds like you're doing by being a coach if I remember?) I know you said you weren't crafty, but doing something physical that also engages the brain is great for neuroplasticity. Even if its doodling with both hands at the same time, that's how a lot of artists warm their brain up and foster the brain-hand connection!

Thaing Mhor!

good tip about have something craftier to do. When I was much younger I was a lot craftier, so maybe I could go back to that.

And Id also say, you already know what you excel at, why not focus on the gaps and set yourself a project to improve those! I said earlier I suck at numbers, but I love the philosophy of maths, so I'm learning about set theory and hoping I improve my general mathsness along the way!

It's neither here nor there what posters on this thread think and yet you've made prolific posts on a thread you started about yourself to repeatedly tell us all how clever you are. I'd make a bet that the one thing you aren't gifted about is face to face human relationships (though you may believe that you are). But sure, you don't care what we think. Righto.