I don’t want to return to my job role post baby but stuck!

[Hellskitchen24]

Brief background: I’m NHS so have to pay back my enhanced maternity pay. Single mum. 9 month old baby. 12.5 hour shifts but my day is 14 hours start to finish with commute. Due back in a couple of weeks. I don’t mind the job but now it’s imminent, I know it’s not going to work.

I have not left my baby for longer than an hour. Breast fed. Co sleep. Multiple night wakes. Won’t take expressed milk. Already been ill for weeks from multiple nursery settling sessions. I’m relying on my poor mum to do drop off, pick up, and get her to sleep, which she’s never done.

What are my options? Normal hours nursing jobs are non existent.

NHS worker here too! The thought is def worse than the reality. The first time I took full mat leave then AL and went back 30hrs over 2.5days. The second time I took full mat leave and then used AL to do a phased return, so 2x9.5hrs and the remainder as AL. This was much nicer and meant I could do nursery drop off. Then the person collecting would pick up at 5.30 give dinner and get them to bed. I then had 5 days a week off with them. I’ve now gone back to 2x12.5hr shifts and it works well. Don’t forget baby will grow up and habits will change, it won’t stay hard forever. Try it and see how it goes. Advertised NHS jobs are a rarity currently so you may have no choice to just see how it goes. You won’t know until you try.

I wouldn't leave nursing all together. I'd see if you can reduce your hours to one shift a week, youl be able to get universal credit top ups. Then look for a role in a surgery or community. Between now and going back I'd be sorting your babies sleep (the baby whisperer worked in 2 days for my bf baby who was waking every hour)

Take a breath, the baby won't starve.and it will do her good to be around others.
Speak to your manager about using your annual leave as part of the 3 months payback. The worst thing that can happen is that they say no.
Reduce your hours to 30, it's going to be 3 days a week for a maximum of 12 weeks and then you are free to find something more child friendly. You might even find that you love being back at work!
If there are people around you offering help, take it. Even if it's just a chat to vent a little.

You can do this