What should I say to my 19 year old daughter who has already decided that she hates men?

[JMSA]

I don’t know, I guess it just saddens me that she holds this negative view of the world already. I received this text from her tonight:

I feel so enraged by the Epstein files. It is like documented proof men are evil. This is what men will do when they have power and think they will get away with it because that’s their nature. The poor woman and kids, it’s sick.

I’m fed up of saying ‘it’s not all men’.
She really hasn’t known many nice teenage boys. I daresay social media has heavily coloured her view too. I don’t want to dismiss her feelings but don’t want to encourage the notion that all men are evil!

Believe me, you'd worry just as much! We're mums!
My daughter is gay and I have had a lot of drama over the past eight years with her and her girlfriends! ❤️
She's been in a much more settled relationship now with a lovely woman this past 18 months
I'm hoping they will stick! 😄

I think teenage girls/younger women right now are in the firing line for the kind of open misogyny most women in their 40s have never seen. And.. I mean the Epstein files are absolutely horrifying. That coupled with the manosphere hellscape she’s no doubt wading through I can’t say I blame her!

So many men are absolute deviants.

Given you think this @JMSA , is it any wonder?

My husband says he's surprised more women aren't gay!

So much will depend up on the experience you had with your father.

My father, was just the most wonderful father, indeed man, I could imagine. That sat the benchmark.

My brother is also a man who I cherish in my
life

my male friends, exes and my ex husband - all men whom I see as good men who I have loved or continue to love.

I agree with her feelings. I am afraid men and power are a bad mix. Just look what is happening in the world and then there is Andrew Tate! I think her generation are finding it really tough with all this toxic masculinity. Obvs they aren't all bad as you say, but it takes a while to find a good one.

Smart girl.

I often think about Mrs Banks in Mary Poppins, singing ‘though we adore men individually, we agree, that as a group, they’re rather stupid’.

Except the older I’ve got the morning I’ve thought ‘stupid’ isn’t quite the right word for it!

I understand her dislike but theres plenty of women out there who have just done as many bad things as men have. Theres billions of people on the planet and a small percentage are wrong uns both men and women.

Maxine carr, recently a few female teachers have been sentenced to for grooming, look at the amount of women in prison too.

ITS A SMALL PERCENTAGE theres lots of good men and women out there. But you have women wanting power over men and men wanting power over women. The vast majority live in peace with each other. You only need to look at your street and workplace women and men working in harmony and living in harmony.

Epstien is in the media because of the high profile of those involved HOWERVER their wifes were also in on this but because they are technically nobody the media doesnt show them.

Wow I cannot believe some of the comments on here. I know this is mumsnet, but wow. None of you have sons? It's actually quite appalling what your opinions of men and is just outright blatant sexism. Replace your comments with "women" instead of "men" or better still with "blacks" or "the disabled". Would that make you feel uncomfortable? It should. And for the same reasons. You can't spout equality if you go round making these comments.

No nothing says she hates all men, but she does say all men with power are bad, so it is inherently implied isn't it.

After the Epstein files, Andrew Tate, that poor French woman, men filing women unawares and selling it online etc etc
I don’t blame her

You could say it’s not all men, but you would also be forgiven for thinking that they might if they made enough money or got into that position.

This. I applaud her for figuring it out early. Also, did they always stink so bad or is it just me? Every supermarket or bit of public transport I use these days has men (and it’s always men) who absolutely honk.

Stop her from using social media, listening to your ex wife, stop going to that particular college. She is being indoctrinated by Communists, lesbians and man haters , i.e. feminist.
Give her positive role models for men , pray for her .

What the hell. Are you ok ?

Don't blame her one bit. I get gladder and gladder to be gay as the months roll on.

She's right though, Dad here , my Dd 14 has also made this decision, she's openly gay , and thinks all men are vile , and well I share her views. As a Bi man the men I frequently encounter make my skin crawl. I'd hate to think what it's like for a women. There are exceptions but assuming they are until proven otherwise is a very reasonable approach.

My DD - similar age - says the same and I’m glad. It is sad but at least she’s not going into adulthood naive about the nature of men.

I say this as someone who has lovely men in our family and my dd has been continually loved, cherished and supported by them all. Unfortunately her experiences as a secondary school girl with catcalling, stalking, harassed by predators and peer bullying made her wise up very quickly.

Unfortunately, there is a huge amount of violence against women and girls carried out by men. Of course women do bad things, but i am afraid the violence and abuse carried out by men far exceeds anything that women have done. Misogyny is rife in our society and it blights many lives. Ignoring this is part of the problem.

Please tell me you’re joking.

@YourTruthorMineno it's not just the psychopaths, it's ordinary men that live ordinary lives but have dirty, misogynistic fantasies. And they are ten a penny, unfortunately.

Nothing. She is right.

Bloody well done girl, saved yourself 20 years of dangerous time-wasting and got to where most women in their 40s are early. Collect £200.

This. It’s awful and ridiculous to say that all men are bad or evil. I work with many wonderful men, have lots of good male friends and my husband’s a pretty good person too. It’s easy to see the dreadful men because they are often powerful and prominent or exposed by the media. You don’t see the good ones because they’re not seeking praise for their everyday decency. They’re just good people. It’s not men, it’s people and there are good and bad ones everywhere.

I agree totally with @OneQuirkyPanda. That's the reality of the world we live in and it takes most women decades to see men for what they are. Your daughter is very astute. Even "good men" aren't always that good, sadly. It's getting worse and the world is regressing.