that weekends and free time are solely about the dc?

[dampmuddyandcold]

So I’ve genuinely been wondering about this a bit because I’ve realised our lives look quite different from our friends. And in fairness all our friends have just one child while we have two which I think does make a big difference.

Our children are two and five. I work two days a week and the other days I have the two year old, we go to groups, walks when the weather is ok and feed ducks, go to the park, sometimes to a little soft play or farm.

At weekends both children have activities like swimming, sports and so on on both mornings and then the afternoons we will generally do something as a family - national trust place or swimming or soft play (depends on weather) sometimes there’s an event like a birthday party.

Friends I made when dc1 was a baby seem to have more of a ‘normal’ life; they go shopping or out for meals or just chill at home.

I guess I’m just wondering - I think if we just had the one five year old maybe our life would be more like that, I don’t know.

If you have young children, what does your ‘free’ time look like?

I had a lot more free time when my kids were small. I have 3 (now teenagers) who are all sporty so weekends are spent getting to and from matches (I also coach one of their teams so extra commitments there). When they were 5 and under weekends were free for family activities and meeting friends and family my 5 year old had a sport activity early in the morning but that was it, weekends were lovely.

No, I’ll listen to that it’s more the criticism of doing structured activities I’m finding a bit unhelpful to be honest. I genuinely don’t see the point in stopping something that benefits them and me!

So what did you want from this thread? You like life, don't want to stop the activities but...?

As I said before my eldest two were into cadets. You still haven't told me how I'm physically meant to have facilitates all this.

So you took yourself to the show jumping then? And paid for the kit as that's at past the means of many working clas people.

I wonder what you think people did with their kids when the majority of them didn't have cars. I grew up in a village. Bus twice a week. No family car. Most of our friends the same. So kids didn't do anything much they couldn't get to themselves

And that's fine But then the side effects of that is having no time for other stuff

Growing up without a car... I spent a lot of time on buses and trains getting all over Kent to athletics competitions, music practice, swimming galas, Guides

Easier for my parents in a way because by 10 years old my brother and I could go in different directions to our things without having to rely on our parents driving us.

It's not my job to tell you how you could have done things. The same way it's not your job to tell OP she's doing it wrong because it wasn't your way. Or to pass judgement on whether my family were or were not well off when you know nothing about them.

I simply said that you made a choice, other people made different ones and you've gone in the attack. That's another choice from you.

And I told you we took it in turns to go to events with other competitors and their families. I had kit for birthdays and Christmas. I got sponsored by local stables because I was good. Wouldn't have known I was good if I hadn't been allowed to do it in the first place.

Small northern farming village is where I grew up. We made things work.

Where did I tell OP she's doing it wrong? Please quote me

Love that that's the only thing you've registered from my post. Speaks volumes.

Off to take my child to do something now 😁

You said it Priove it

I’m thinking back to when my kids were two and four - they’re 21 and 19 now but I remember that age well as we’d just moved to a new area.

Dd did swimming lessons on a Saturday morning (ds started too at 3 but at 2 he watched with me). On the way home we did the weekly shop at Lidl. Dh generally stayed home on Saturday mornings as he had health issues. For that reason we didn’t tend to do National Trust type stuff at weekends either, just when we were both on annual leave.

In the afternoon we would sometimes pop to the park or go shopping in town, but generally they played at home/ in the garden. They played together quite well. It was pre-tablets so screen time was more easily demarcated and they usually watched an hour or so on a Saturday afternoon/evening. They always had a ‘pick tea’ on Saturdays which they enjoyed!

We went to church on Sunday so that filled the morning, followed by a roast dinner, with my brother. Afternoons they played at home and then we were back at church in the evening and home for bed.

Definitely no meals out for us! Once ds was 3 we used to sometimes go to the cheap cinema showings for kids. It wasn’t a very exciting life I suppose but it was chilled enough! We did Saturday morning swimming for 7 years so that structured our Saturdays!

Ok... but staying at home, getting their stuff out all over the place ( aka as trashing the house) is what kids love to do...

Some people function better with structure and routine.

Some people need more downtime / freetime than others.

Some people are natural homebodies. Some people have kids who need to be out of the house a lot.

There is no right or wrong.

We have one more DC than the OP and mine are older but this week has been x2 ballet, x3 football, x3 various after school clubs, a theatre trip, a school disco, x3 swimming (plus normal school and workdays). Life is busy with children but we are earmarking a PJ day this weekend as we have nothing planned on Sunday. Next weekend we are back to back all weekend.

There is no hard and fast rule.

Well, I have answered that.

I am interested in the point where life becomes more balanced. I think if we hadn’t had a second we’d be there now but I’m not sure whether having two of them adds to the having life revolve around them.

I don’t mind particularly; it’s what I expect. Just interested.

Please don't question yourself based on these other families. You sound like a brilliant mum who's organising an amazing variety of activities for your children.

Spending a day at the weekend shopping and chilling would be fine occasionally but would be dull as dishwater if you did it regularly.

Crack on with what you're doing and enjoy the time having fun with your kids. I promise that you'll blink and they'll be teenagers before you know it!

Thanks - I try! I find it hard to think of things to do; it’s all very well and good saying children like trashing the house but a) not all the time and b) I really don’t - and my feelings matter too!