New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

How someone handles themselves and treats others in mildly irritating and inconvenient situations shows their character. Three months in and OP gets a frustrated FFS and a scolding then acts completely normal after? 🚩

What scolding? It wasn't a rebuke or a reprimand. It was three words in a stressful situation that weren't directed to her. Hardly the telling off of the century. And after doing ALL of the driving on a mammoth journey. And he apologised, unprompted, once the journey was over.

Guess the milk of human kindness only flows in one direction?

My parents have been very happily married for 47 years. The only bickering they really did was if my mum Was navigating and made a mistake or was too slow at telling him of a turn off. The invention of the sat nav made travel much more peaceful. 🤣🤣

Low bar?

No one I have dated has ever sworn at me - which is also what didn't happen in this case. My bar is incredibly high - but I am also understanding that someone who is tired, fraught and stressed after a bloody long drive might just possibly have a moment of frustration. Because they are a just a person and not a cardboard cutout without emotions, feelings and humanity. I bet you've never once in your life ever got frustrated and sworn under your breath - I imagine your medal must be in the post now and your local town is getting ready to do a parade in your honour because you've never, ever lost your temper for a second.

Yikes - no need to be so rude! 😱

Sorry petal and after you were so polite as well!

You ppl all are seriously werid or you just like to echo other weird posts... you can give instructions and know what you are doing and still get confused the odd time. Both dh and I are confident drivers and with maps or reading signs but in the moment ive been unsure or not spoken up in time, its called being a human being. He certainly hasnt got mad or said fucks sake. He knows it can happen.

I didn't write an angry essay at a stranger....
You seem to be looking for a fight with the name calling

Hardly an essay - you insinuated that I have low standards in a two word pass agg post - all I did was clarify my position.

Name calling? I didn't call you a name.

If he snaps again then get rid.

We're not talking about running a red light or speeding though. Yes those things would be the driver's fault. Not paying attention and giving the wrong directions is the fault of the person navigating.

You seem disproportionately angry. Let's not continue to engage each other.

Not remotely.

Fine by me.

A singular "for fuck sake" wouldn't really bother me.

Unless it's part of a pattern of rude language and an unpleasant demeaner...just watch he's not masking who he really is, it being early days in the relationship.

She said she hesitated because she wasn't sure of the exit and because they were talking, even if maps was lagging, the instructions tell you the exit number. I read the instructions ahead of time and then know the exit number in advance. But either way, he tutted and said for fucks sake, which is hardly snapping at her and I think it's a pretty typical response to the situation, especially given as she said : In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated
He has fairly expressed his irritation in a minor way, it's not like he called her names or behaved in an aggressive or intimidating manner.

As a driver I would have found you very unhelpful. I can plug my phone into the in car satnav screen so that I can see where I am going as well as listen to directions.

I also do this on journeys I know well, particularly on motorway drives, so that I can get traffic updates.

I think it was a bad idea not to let your boyfriend have visual access to Google maps or Waze. And I say this as someone who is a good map reader.

So I would have been irritated with you. Sorry.

Sometimes there are threads on mumsnet where you can clearly see the posters who will decide the man, any man, is the the wrong, abusive, red flag flying and should be dumped.

This is one of those threads

op. You have also refused to answer why you did not share any of the driving. Why?

Such a complete non-event. You got something wrong, the guy found it a bit annoying and then apologised later for reacting that way. Don't give it a seconds thought.

100%, it's embarrassing to read really isn't it?

Team boyfriend here

3 months into a relationship is way too early for him to speak to you like that. He should be on his best behaviour at this point.

Been with my partner for 12 years, and he would get pissed off at me and say that to me now, but he Definitely wouldn’t have done that in first few years.

If he speaks to you like this already, what’s he going to be like a year or 2 down the line? I’d be wary of him personally.

I think you could say thanks for the apology I accept it but going forward I don’t expect to be sworn at or told off, it makes me feel like someone’s child which is a very unsexy dynamic and a turn off

Most normal people drive an older car without a built-in satnav, but regardless of what your car is, you can buy a phone holder that sticks to the windscreen.

He tutted and said fucks sake and that's snapping?
Mild irritation and you are here asking for opinions?
You do know sometimes arguments would get worse than that? Arguing and disagreements are a part of life. He was driving and had to jump lanes because you didn't alert him as you should have if you were giving directions???

I'm sorry but not everything is abusive. Not everything is a red flag. Sometimes it's just being human

Let this poor man go and find someone less uptight. My word I am shocked that THIS was the issue... Some people have really lived sheltered lives. And if you never had a single cross word at all with you ex then you should have stayed. That's not normal for most people.

Feel sorry for the new guy he can do better and hopefully his next potential partner won't be asking question's online about his every move and relatively normal behaviour.