New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

If someone behaved in the way you describe yourself behaving, I would absolutely never want to see them again. I don't have relationships with anyone who has less than a brilliant sense of humour, and certainly not with anyone who thinks it's fine to throw a tantrum whenever I make a mistake.

A friend of mine once sent me several miles in the wrong direction during what should have been a simple run out to the shops. We ended up on the motorway heading to a completely different city. We still laugh about it now. If you don't take yourself too seriously, stuff like this is funny.

I'm interested in the fact that you had a very long relationship in which this wasn't the norm. So seems it's not you then.
I'd hate to think that following that you now start to accustom yourself to being on the end of this. So maybe see how it goes. Yes people do get ratty No you don't deserve it.

Personally I really hate thar kind of reaction. He’s annoyed but no need to respond like that

It's annoying when driving and the passenger is suppose to be directing the way at a certain point .. he is talking driving thinking is this the way and your just jabbering on 🤣 but I do understand if he was snappy .. just say to him I was bothered by the way you got frustrated with me in the car I'm not used to that let him know .

They've been together for 3 months so unless he got his licence in that time he should be fully capable of navigating for himself. If I was the OP I'd be considering dumping him for being an incompetent adult - who needs another person to navigate for them in 2025??

That would be the end of seeing him for me.

He’s shown you his true colours very early on. Listen to your instincts. He can’t keep a grip on his temper even though you hardly know him.

13 pages in and people are still saying just use sat nav, when on page 2 OP said she was using Google maps.

And also OP still hasn't answered why she didn't take a turn at driving a 12 hour journey.

Well they'd have to go back in time for that to be the case.

Yes I wondered about that too. Presumably they must have broken up the journey and could have taken turns.

Yes I scrolled back because I was sure she had said that and that it was lagging.

Exactly what I did! I was sure I'd read it 😂

Agree. The other way round, I'd be thinking of dumping a new partner if s/he didn't give directions, nearly causing me to miss an exit, and then acted as if I was in the wrong for swearing.

I find it WILD that people are saying to bin him off and saying no would speak to them like that again,

He's human. He was annoyed. He got over it quickly. He apologised.

Move the fuck on

Wow.................

op isn't in the uk,

i've had a journey that should have been 4 hours take 12 before thanks to kids needing to pee every time we passed a service station, a flat tyre, a motorway halt due to an accident, and food stops.

Was hell. And more than a few muttered 'ffs' on THAT journey i can tell you.

As Google Maps was lagging then it’s not OP’s fault and he shouldn’t be taking out his frustration on her.

Sounds like he is too cheap to buy a sat nav.

He needs to dump you!

I think what he said was a perfectly normal response and hardly snapping at you! You'd already caused one big delay, and then could have had another, on a very long drive. He hardly said anything, and then apologized later. I don't think he's wrong at all.

Most people who navigate that distance don't just rely on the technology. I've got an integrated satnav in my car but I check out the route beforehand on AA route planner and print it off. And my phone with Google Maps is the back up. That way if anything 'lags' I have alternatives - it's called being prepared isn't it?

There's nothing in her post to say that he's too cheap to buy a satnav, you're just making an assumption with no evidence. I think he was frustrated with the situation more than anything else. Which is normal - there have been lots of comments on here about expecting her to be a 'robot', the irony being that he is expected to be a 'robot' by not reacting at all after a mammoth drive which has already been extended through no fault of his own.

I'd still like to know whether she did any of the driving or not - strange she won't answer that question.

This is what I said upthread, as the driver, I ensure I am prepared for long journeys without relying on others for basic navigation.

But for some reason the boyfriend seems to be being absolved of any responsibility and it’s all being blamed on the OP.

If Google Maps was lagging, what was OP supposed to do? Why is she to blame?

He sounds like an impatient tosser

In what universe could a quick FFS under his breath in this situation be called a tantrum? No wonder so many people find it impossible to have lasting relationships. We are all human, which means we're fallible and make mistakes and are certainly not always perfectly in control of our emotions and reactions. It's as though people have never heard of compromise and give-and-take.

Well you would… you wanted to say ‘get over it’ which would have made him feel shit.

So you are not good at map reading he should get a satnav if he can't navigate himself. This should be the honeymoon period, you should be laughing together about little mistakes, roll forward a few years... Not looking good.

So do I - I don't let anyone navigate for me though, ever. But they clearly agreed between themselves that was the plan - maybe it was a trade off for her doing sod all of the driving?

You say basic navigation, but no one knows the route - it's not been shared - and it could have been through dire weather through unfamiliar terrain when having an extra pair of eyes helps. Also presumably there was a reason why a navigator was needed - doesn't make him a crap driver necessarily.