To worry this will end up with social services involved

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sorry if this is all over the place its my first post and im really nervous posting on here so please be kind. i didnt sleep much and my head is a mess so apologies in advance.

My DS is 19 months. Yesterday afternoon he bumped his head while with my partner. I wasnt home at the time which is half why I feel so awful about it. From what I was told he tripped and hit it on the corner of the coffee table. There was blood. Not loads like pouring but enough that it was running down his face and soaking a tissue. Partner rang me at 3.42pm and said it wouldnt stop bleeding and DS was screaming so he was taking him to A&E.

They got there about 4ish I think. I met them there later once I could get someone to cover me. By the time I arrived the bleeding had stopped and DS was calmer just very tired and clingy. He had a small cut and a bump but no stitches needed. They cleaned it and said to watch him overnight and sent us home.

This is where my anxiety is coming from and I know how this sounds and maybe im overthinking but my partner apparently had words with the receptionist because he felt they were making him wait too long. He also told the triage nurse he wasnt waiting all night and that it was ridiculous. I didnt see most of this myself but I did see him being quite abrupt when I got there and I could tell staff were frosty. I keep replaying it all and thinking it must look awful. Young child head injury. Mum not there. Dad angry and defensive. I feel sick thinking about it.

I know accidents happen and kids bump their heads all the time and the doctor literally said that. But im now panicking that they will think something else. Or that his behaviour flagged something. Or that because DS is under 2 it automatically gets logged. I cant stop thinking social services are going to get involved and im terrified. I know how dramatic that sounds but im genuinely scared.

Partner says im being ridiculous and that he was just stressed and worried about DS and anyone would be snappy in A&E. I do get that. I also dont want to throw him under the bus because he does love DS and hes normally great. But at the same time I wasnt there and I hate that and I feel like im the one who will get blamed if anything comes of it. I feel guilty for not being there and guilty for even posting this.

Sorry this is long and rambly. I know MN can be blunt so im bracing myself. I just need to know if im being unreasonable worrying this much or if anyone else would be panicking too. Please be honest but gentle if possible.

If you’re being honest OP, is there anything else going on here? Does your partner have anger issues? Is he your sons dad?

This is an anonymous forum, you can be honest.

Honestly... it would make me wonder was my partner watching our child? Why was he not willing to wait all night to put child first? That should never be up for debate. Why does he think being disrespectful to staff will help?

Do you have concerns about your partner?

Yabu. The guilt over not being there is very unnecessary. It sounds like you were at work, so totally not an issue. Staff will think your partner is a twat for his behaviour, because it sounds like he was. Not sure why you'd be blamed for anything.

Your partner is beyond unreasonable with the way he spoke to the A&E staff, who does he think he is. Most people are well aware of how busy A&E is, especially at weekends, and that you will have a long wait for a minor injury. Kids have accidents all the time so I wouldn't be panicking about social services involvement for a one off thing.

Social care may call to follow up, they may not. This is v unlikely to lead to any further involvement though so please don’t worry. I echo other posters concerns though, do you worry about him with your child? From their pov it wouldn’t matter if both parents aren’t there as long as one is, but him being aggressive with staff is a worry - was he not just focused on keeping your child calm and reassured rather than timings. We all know a&e is a nightmare and that waiting times are awful. I would be worried about a parent who brought in a young child with a head injury who then said that they wouldn’t wait all night (ie wouldn’t ensure the child was safe and ok).

Firstly, try not to worry about social services, this is completely normal to check out the situation and they usually close the case. That said, your partner’s behaviour in the hospital will probably be noted. Hopefully he doesn’t behave that way towards whichever social worker has contact with your family. His attitude in A+E is not ok. And no, not everyone is snappy and unpleasant to hospital staff in stressful situations. I have never, ever behaved that way when my 3 children have been ill or injured. I believe most people don’t.

He just sounds like a worried dad to me. If there is a SS referal it will be because a young child was injured, not because mum wasnt there and dad was rude to the reception staff. If there is a referal it would just be to confirm what happened and that it was an accident.

Kids bump their heads, there’s nothing to say the child wasn’t being watched. And if I arrived at A&E mid afternoon with a small child with a head injury I’d be worried about a long wait too - A&E waiting rooms aren’t a good environment for toddlers and if they were predicting very long waiting times I’d be concerned. It sounds like the partner was anxious and overly pushy but I can’t see a safeguarding issue on the face of it.

No they wouldn’t get involved in a head bump , unless there is a massive back story and he’s a weekly attendee of a and e.
kids bump and have accidents , all part of growing up for the main part .

we can’t comment on how your partner behaved, but honestly disgusting/threatening behaviour could concern a staff member more than a bumped head.

i would be rethinking my position if my husband dared to treat the nhs caring for my children in this way.

if someone shows you who they are op, believe them.

I thought when under 5s present at A & E they just informed a health visitor to ring a few day later to check everything is okay.

You’d probably get a standard call from them anyway

In our area, any head bump that results in an A&E trip gets notified to the Health Visitors, who follow up with a call / visit. We had this when DD1 fell down the bottom part of our stairs and we took her to A&E to get checked out (she was about 2.5yr at the time i think). They basically wanted to check how she was doing, how i was doing, any follow ups needed etc. So even if there is no SS referral, if your area does the same, you might get a HV call. It really was nothing to worry about though and after the conversation, they said that was all finished.

Try not to worry. Accidents happen sometimes. You might get a call but you can just explain what happened. If you think about desperately sad cases that have been in the news. If those kids weren't removed from their abuser, you definitely won't have a child removed for one accident which can happen to anyone.

Plus telling you you're ridiculous to be concerned. No, op, most reasonable people don't shout at NHS staff even when they're worried.

As long as it’s not a regular occurrence they won’t be concerned, kids have accidents

They might call to follow up.going their job. Dont worry. These things are very, very common. You partner needs talking to. However if you think he did something you should deal with That.

You are massively overthinking it. Kids trip all the time, and often bump their head in doing so, particularly when they just start walking. If anything, you both should look at childproofing your house because tables are one of the most common causes of accidents in the house with children...

My first experience at A&E with my baby was the most frustrating and stressful situation I've been. I was absolutely not prepared for the rubbish treatment and conditions of a paediatric service. Now I know, and would set my expectations differently.

Your husband was absolutely wrong if he was abusive to the staff, but ultimately he did what he could in a stressful situation. I would let him express his experience living though it, and reflect on what he could do differently next time.

My daughter at about 14 months or so fell and hit her head on the TV stand while my husband and I were in the room. She had a cut on the corner of her forehead that bless really badly so we first rushed to the GP who cleaned her up then a&e. She had to have her wound glued together. Nothing got logged. I've witnessed stressed people in a&e being abrupt with staff. I'm sure as it's an isolated incident safeguarding won't be an issue

They'll only refer to SSD if they think there are safeguarding concerns

So was their assessment of the injury that it fitted with the description given or not. If not, they'll deem it NAI at this stage (although they're notorious for changing their minds half way through an investigation)

If that was the case the police would have been called there and then

They may wonder about the level of supervision but this type of accident is very common, you cant have eyes in the back of your head at all times and in a flash things happen. But if they think dad was just outside having a fag and not supervising properly the might refer on that basis or equivalent

They wont refer on the basis of him being shitty, its not ideal if he was rude and snippy but parents advocate for their kids all the time and no, waiting around at A+E all night if its not necessary isnt actually appropriate for the child, so either the child needs to be seen or the patient should be sent home. People often do make the decision to go home. If that is deemed as being a safeguarding issue, ie the child needed to remain, thats different and a referral might come out of that.

Your being paranoid dont worry it sounds like your partner was stressed out SS are OK if there's not a problem in the household and if they think you need a little help they will help so dont worry if they do get involved but I doubt they will

Your DH being abrupt and possibly rude to staff is not ideal but sounds like he was worried and a bit stressed so I would hope they would be understanding of that.

PP on here are being a bit harsh I think. Sounds like he wanted your kid seen to asap so was a bit frustrated at having to wait

Does he know hours of wait at a/e is the norm? Probably not. Sitting about with a fractious child would be stressful.
Just get your table corners covered, or remove table. And stop worrying. Be grateful Dc is fine.

Your partner wbu they way he was speaking to A&E staff, and very worrying that he didn’t want to wait for your DS to be seen. Social services may be contacted but if they do this will be more routine and you may get a phone call. It’s happened to me before when my I took my baby to A&E with a head bump but it was very much a routine call check in and nothing to worry about.

Don’t worry, if there was any chance of SS being involved over a fairly minor injury I dread to think how they’d have reacted to my son’s record when he was small- a cut to the face that needed stitches when he was two, a cut to the back of the head that again need stitches when he was three, a broken collarbone at four, and a compound fracture to the arm at eight that broke the skin and needed resetting under a general anaesthetic! All genuine accidents, and never a sniff of SS.
As for him being snippy in A&E, if it was a very long wait with a tired and injured small child, probably disrupting a mealtime too, it’s understandable. Consider what the staff have to deal with every day- people with serious drug problems, having mental health crises, drunks, people actually dying- it would have just been part of the daily grind.
We’re fortunate in living somewhere big enough for an actual children’s A&E, which makes things much easier, but a general A&E, especially on a weekend evening, can be hell, and they’ll have understood that he was stressed, concerned and upset.
Don’t sweat it.

As others have said, if this is a one off then they will have no need to report it to ss.

Your hv will be notified, this is completely normal and they are notified of all a&e attendances, not just head injuries, and they may give you a call. This is just to see how you are all doing.

Glad little one is ok, don't feel guilty, even with constant supervision, they still find a way to fall and hurt themselves.

Your dh on the other hand, was very out of line to speak to hospital staff that way. They would have been working extremely hard and would not be keeping him waiting on purpose. Hopefully he doesn't treat you the same way.