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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry this will end up with social services involved

137 replies

HavocReap · 01/02/2026 10:21

sorry if this is all over the place its my first post and im really nervous posting on here so please be kind. i didnt sleep much and my head is a mess so apologies in advance.

My DS is 19 months. Yesterday afternoon he bumped his head while with my partner. I wasnt home at the time which is half why I feel so awful about it. From what I was told he tripped and hit it on the corner of the coffee table. There was blood. Not loads like pouring but enough that it was running down his face and soaking a tissue. Partner rang me at 3.42pm and said it wouldnt stop bleeding and DS was screaming so he was taking him to A&E.

They got there about 4ish I think. I met them there later once I could get someone to cover me. By the time I arrived the bleeding had stopped and DS was calmer just very tired and clingy. He had a small cut and a bump but no stitches needed. They cleaned it and said to watch him overnight and sent us home.

This is where my anxiety is coming from and I know how this sounds and maybe im overthinking but my partner apparently had words with the receptionist because he felt they were making him wait too long. He also told the triage nurse he wasnt waiting all night and that it was ridiculous. I didnt see most of this myself but I did see him being quite abrupt when I got there and I could tell staff were frosty. I keep replaying it all and thinking it must look awful. Young child head injury. Mum not there. Dad angry and defensive. I feel sick thinking about it.

I know accidents happen and kids bump their heads all the time and the doctor literally said that. But im now panicking that they will think something else. Or that his behaviour flagged something. Or that because DS is under 2 it automatically gets logged. I cant stop thinking social services are going to get involved and im terrified. I know how dramatic that sounds but im genuinely scared.

Partner says im being ridiculous and that he was just stressed and worried about DS and anyone would be snappy in A&E. I do get that. I also dont want to throw him under the bus because he does love DS and hes normally great. But at the same time I wasnt there and I hate that and I feel like im the one who will get blamed if anything comes of it. I feel guilty for not being there and guilty for even posting this.

Sorry this is long and rambly. I know MN can be blunt so im bracing myself. I just need to know if im being unreasonable worrying this much or if anyone else would be panicking too. Please be honest but gentle if possible.

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 01/02/2026 17:21

He’s wrong when he says ‘everyone gets snappy in A&E.’ Many of us worked out a long time ago that being rude or snappy as he puts it, gets you absolutely nowhere. In fact I think it hinders you.

Same with all these parents that give teachers a piece of their minds - it never works. You just look rude and too ignorant to discuss things calmly.

TeethAreImportant · 01/02/2026 17:22

HavocReap · 01/02/2026 10:21

sorry if this is all over the place its my first post and im really nervous posting on here so please be kind. i didnt sleep much and my head is a mess so apologies in advance.

My DS is 19 months. Yesterday afternoon he bumped his head while with my partner. I wasnt home at the time which is half why I feel so awful about it. From what I was told he tripped and hit it on the corner of the coffee table. There was blood. Not loads like pouring but enough that it was running down his face and soaking a tissue. Partner rang me at 3.42pm and said it wouldnt stop bleeding and DS was screaming so he was taking him to A&E.

They got there about 4ish I think. I met them there later once I could get someone to cover me. By the time I arrived the bleeding had stopped and DS was calmer just very tired and clingy. He had a small cut and a bump but no stitches needed. They cleaned it and said to watch him overnight and sent us home.

This is where my anxiety is coming from and I know how this sounds and maybe im overthinking but my partner apparently had words with the receptionist because he felt they were making him wait too long. He also told the triage nurse he wasnt waiting all night and that it was ridiculous. I didnt see most of this myself but I did see him being quite abrupt when I got there and I could tell staff were frosty. I keep replaying it all and thinking it must look awful. Young child head injury. Mum not there. Dad angry and defensive. I feel sick thinking about it.

I know accidents happen and kids bump their heads all the time and the doctor literally said that. But im now panicking that they will think something else. Or that his behaviour flagged something. Or that because DS is under 2 it automatically gets logged. I cant stop thinking social services are going to get involved and im terrified. I know how dramatic that sounds but im genuinely scared.

Partner says im being ridiculous and that he was just stressed and worried about DS and anyone would be snappy in A&E. I do get that. I also dont want to throw him under the bus because he does love DS and hes normally great. But at the same time I wasnt there and I hate that and I feel like im the one who will get blamed if anything comes of it. I feel guilty for not being there and guilty for even posting this.

Sorry this is long and rambly. I know MN can be blunt so im bracing myself. I just need to know if im being unreasonable worrying this much or if anyone else would be panicking too. Please be honest but gentle if possible.

I think 'anybody would be snappy in A&E' is excusing his behaviour a bit, obviously some people are snappy and rude in A&E (and in life generally), but they tend to be in the minority thankfully. Most adults are able to control how they are feeling, especially in front of said 2 year old who would already have been feeling upset and staff who are there to help. Is he like this at other times?

Yarrrrr · 01/02/2026 17:49

Iloveeverycat · 01/02/2026 10:37

I thought when under 5s present at A & E they just informed a health visitor to ring a few day later to check everything is okay.

This had never happened to me any time I’ve had my dc at A&E and we’ve been in for multiple head injuries - enough that tbh I think someone should have checked! DC well cared for, just I have dyspraxia and pretty sure she does too cos omg it’s relentless. And short with reception staff isn’t ideal but also normal when stressed and worried as I’m sure your partner was. They’ll be used to it and I’m sure would have asked him to leave once you were there if he was actually aggressive (vs just being short and grumpy, which although of course not ideal or fair to the staff is understandable and I saw as much from a dad the last time I was in A&E - after a head injury at school)

Nosleepforthismum · 01/02/2026 17:52

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 17:05

Sorry but no need to get short you can ask respectfully - you get further that way

Show quote history

We usually are but young kids with croup can go from okay at triage to suddenly struggling to draw breath and unfortunately, sometimes, the staff in a&e will completely ignore you once you’ve been triaged. I was trying to empathise with the OP because no one intends to get short with doctors and nurses but fear for your child makes everything heightened especially if you feel like your concerns are being dismissed.

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 18:26

Nosleepforthismum · 01/02/2026 17:52

We usually are but young kids with croup can go from okay at triage to suddenly struggling to draw breath and unfortunately, sometimes, the staff in a&e will completely ignore you once you’ve been triaged. I was trying to empathise with the OP because no one intends to get short with doctors and nurses but fear for your child makes everything heightened especially if you feel like your concerns are being dismissed.

Show quote history

You can still ask respectfully

we all love our loved ones

they would also know at triage what conditions can change quickly

“oh excuse me, my daughter was seen at triage and she now seems worse, what do we do?”

Toddlerteaplease · 01/02/2026 18:30

Toddlers have accidents, it happens. But ther e is absolutely no excuse to be rude or agressive to hospital staff. Is he usually like this when he’s stressed.

SassyCow · 01/02/2026 18:34

When my DS fell in the bath and split his chin open (needed gluing and steri strips) we didn't have a call from SS or HV. You'll be fine OP, I know it's a scary thought but if they did check in they'd close it straight away but I don't think you'll get a call or a visit.

Letmeloveyou · 01/02/2026 18:35

HavocReap · 01/02/2026 11:05

Im going to answer honestly because its anonymous and thats why I posted. He is DS dad yes. No diagnosed anger issues or anything like that but he can be snappy and defensive when stressed and doesnt always think before he speaks. Hes not violent. Hes never hurt DS. I want to be clear on that because some replies feel like they are reading a lot into it. But yes he does get impatient and that is something we argue about.

He was watching DS. He wasnt on his phone or out the room or anything like that. He was literally right there and DS tripped. It happened really fast. I know people are saying why wouldnt he wait all night and I get that but what he meant (badly worded I know) was that if they were going to say its fine then he didnt want DS sat there for hours overtired and distressed. He wasnt saying hed leave him untreated. I wasnt there so I cant fully explain it and thats part of why im spiralling.

I dont think being rude to staff helps anything and ive said that to him. He thinks people on here are being unfair and that he was advocating for DS. I can see both sides but I also cringe thinking about how it looked. Thats where my worry is coming from. Not that DS fell because kids do fall. Its the whole picture together and me not being there.

To the social services stuff. I think reading replies has helped a bit. I didnt know HVs sometimes get notified anyway so if that happens I will deal with it. Theres nothing to hide. House is fine. DS is happy and loved. I think a lot of this is guilt because I wasnt there and now I cant stop imagining worst case scenarios. I know that sounds dramatic.

Im not ignoring the comments about his behaviour. I am taking that on board. But I also dont think this is some huge dark thing. It was a stressful situation handled badly. Im asking if im being unreasonable worrying this much about SS specifically. Im not saying hes perfect. Im saying im scared and overtired and probably catastrophising.

You’re over thinking. This could happen anytime when you were there or not. Kids bump their heads it’s normal!! Mine did at the childminders twice, with me and also once he fell out of his pushchair when my husband took him out the front door and tipped it too much! He was fine!
A&E have a duty to ask questions when a child injures themselves but just because your husband was stressed understandably, they won’t refer you to SS!

Give your husband and yourself a break! If your son was covered in bruises and an angry dad brought him in then fine but you’re over thinking this!

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 01/02/2026 18:36

NRTFT

Unless it’s a bad injury or regular issue then SS won’t be interested. The hospital may need to flag it due to policy.

Loads & loads of kids bang themselves and end up in A&E and most incidents are not followed up as it’s usually just normal clumsiness.

Also, lots of parents get stressed in this situation. So while I’m not condoning your partner’s behaviour, I can understand him being snappy if stressed. The guilt of it happening on your watch is awful.

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 19:04

Please all stop making excuses for men behaving badly In A and E - everyone there would have been stressed about their loved ones

yea OP your partner needs to listen - not ok to not manage civilised conversation

cadburyegg · 01/02/2026 19:10

Please do not worry op, it is totally normal for just one parent to be at A&E. My kids have had a few trips, their dad has never taken them, it’s always been me. Do you think dads worry about not going to A&E with their child? Of course not. As for kids getting into accidents, my ds2 went to minor injuries twice within a month a few years ago. He was 5 at the time. The first time he cut his head open falling over onto a doorframe at school, the second time he split his chin on our laminate flooring. If anyone contacts you asking more questions then just answer honestly, they’re just doing their job.

Mwnci123 · 01/02/2026 19:27

Hi OP, when I had to take mine to A&E for a fall they let the health visitor know, as others have said. She sort of invited me to disclose it next time she visited (something like "has she needed to see the doctor recently?"). I explained and that was that really. Friend had the same when her child got an accidental burn.

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