To be confused as to why hiring a cleaner is seen as an indulgence?

[Gahr]

This is something that I see time and again on this site, and it is SO WEIRD. People seem to think that it is the height of luxury to have a housecleaner, and also seem to be strangely apologetic about it, offering disclaimers as to why they need one. Also, I've noticed that on threads when someone has a problem with their cleaning service, they will get several posts telling them to 'clean their own house'. Nobody would tell someone to 'service their own boiler' or 'fix their own toilet'! I don't understand it at all. I have a cleaner and I wouldn't be without her.

And of course you are a teeny tiny size 6-8 🙈

Its the same with inheritance. It really sets the mumsnetters off. And dont you dare even think about putting your children in a private school.
Woe betide anyone who works hard, studies hard, gets a good job.
You might offend somebody !! 😅

Yes, good points. I would concur.

I see a cleaner as a luxury because I can’t afford one. However as I absolutely hate cleaning I wouldn’t feel at all guilty about having one.

My Mum can afford a cleaner, but she seems to enjoy housework (baffling to me) so she does it herself. Guess it’s all about priorities.

This is absolutely true, but it’s also true of gym memberships/going to the cinema/running a car, and those tend not to have the same moral valence as ‘paying a cleaner’. There is sexism, an irritation with uppity women, at the root of this attitude (overall, not this poster)

I clean my own car and windows. Because to me although I’d love to pay someone I don’t have infinite funds.

Hands up who's got a cook? No highly trained, Cordon Bleu style chef, just someone who produces the evening meal every day.
Also seen as "traditional women's work" that should be perfectly reasonable to buy in. Not many I think.
My MiL used to regularly get in caterers for dinner parties.
It's all relative.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to have a cleaner but it suggests a sad lack of awareness, empathy and imagination to become "confused" about why some people might see it as an indulgence or a luxury.

I would.

I regard general cleaning up after yourself is a basic part of being a human and that turning it into commoditised labour is vulgar and exploitative. Shitting in a toilet then getting someone else to scrub the stains? Disgusting and demeaning. (And, yes, historically labelled as women's domestic labour).

Of course, I would make exceptions for those unable to clean up their own mess.

But I appreciate that 21st century society generally disagrees with me.

Many of my friends and colleagues have cleaners. We could definitely afford to buy split our cleaning labour.

But having a cleaner means that someone - a cleaner - is earning money. So if everyone who has a cleaner stopped having one there will be a lot more people who will struggle to pay their bills because they lost their cleaning jobs

It’s a luxury - of course it is. If you have the spare funds to pay someone else to do something you could do yourself for free and don’t need to think beyond “just another day to day expense” the yes it’s a luxury. There’s lots of things in life that are luxuries. Luxury basically means non - essential, you will survive without it. It shows how unaware some people are to wealth or lack of in others, by choice, circumstance or other.

Having said that, I don’t begrudge anyone of having a cleaner! I would love to have someone deep clean my house properly for me each week, alas right now it’s spare cash that I don’t have - I’m kind of in a balanced position where I can pay my bills and treat myself but I also have to watch it - recent dental work has just thrown a massive bill at me that points to the reason why I don’t have a cleaner or other such services, say someone to take my ironing off me why I don’t purchase clothes that require dry cleaning. I will likely need the money fo other things(essential things) that crop up

i don’t judge anyone for having one - that would be silly. If you can afford a big convenience fo life, take it. It gives you time back, and it’s giving someone else a wage, and being a cleaner is a perfectly honest way to make a living and I do not and don’t tolerate people who look down on people who clean others homes to earn their money.

So I believe it’s a luxury, like lots of things in life, but gees go for it if you want it and can afford it, just don’t assume everyone could afford one.

Well lots of people can't afford one or simply don't feel they need it.

Employing someone to do tasks you can do yourself is often seen as an 'extra'. I mean if you needed a new roof you'd have to get a roofer. But if you need your house hoovered or your toilet cleaned your have the knowledge and capacity to do it yourself.

Not that there's anything wrong with having one. I don't think anyone should be coming on saying people are snobby or lazy or whatever for not wanting to do their own cleaning. Or not having the time.

Did you ignore the fact that I said that in response to the person who said that we are all fat because we don't clean our own houses?! No, far more fun just to have a pop at me.

I always considered it a luxury that we could afford for DH to be a SAHD. He did all the cleaning and cooking whilst not in paid employment for ten years.

We had a cleaner before DH was made redundant and we both worked full time in long hour jobs and both sets of our parents were poorly and I had a two year old. Sandwich generation, very time poor -,so it was cleaner or stranger caring for my parents and I chose cleaner. My mother was agast that I could let this happen and thought it a waste of money and would have thought it more appropriate I was cleaning at midnight rather than employ someone.

Because it’s a completely basic thing that most people can do themselves with very little trouble and expense. It’s not a bit like servicing a boiler. It’s the same as washing your own car or cooking your own food and a step below cleaning upstairs windows or gutters or doing basic household and car repairs and maintenance. It’s usually a weekly/fortnightly expense rather than a one off cost and that puts people off. I would have one if I had more spare money but it’s below a lot of wants for me including topping up my pension and having an annual mini break with my friends - I can’t do them all. When you are “comfortable” but can’t indulge in everything you want then it’s quite far down the list for a lot of people.

Hands up who's got a cook? No highly trained, Cordon Bleu style chef, just someone who produces the evening meal every day.
Also seen as "traditional women's work" that should be perfectly reasonable to buy in. Not many I think.
My MiL used to regularly get in caterers for dinner parties. I couldn't dream of that.
It's all relative.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to have a cleaner but it suggests a sad lack of awareness, empathy and imagination to become "confused" about why some people might see it as an indulgence or a luxury.

I’m curious how this mindset works in general. Do you clean your own hotel room when travelling? Take your plates into the kitchen to wash them up when you’re eating out?

Leaving poo stains for a cleaner is gross. I agree with that.

but a toilet needs cleaning even if there aren’t poo stains.

also having a cleaner doesn’t mean people don’t know how to clean or never clean in between weekly visits

My Grandma worked on the basis of your house either having to be spotless at all times, or you being visibly in the process of cleaning it if it wasn’t, in case somebody dropped in and judged you.

She’d also ideally always have something home baked in a tin for the same reason.

I don’t know how to service my boiler, or wouldn’t know how to fix my toilet. But I know how to Hoover, mop and wipe. HTH.

No, of course not.

Neither of those are general domestic cleaning.

I am talking about my home.

It's nothing to feel guilty about but it absolutely is a luxury - it's daft to suggest otherwise.

Our cleaner is an essential in our life. We have had her for years and over that time she has helped us so much. When the kids were young she would do babysitting, whenever we have gone away she has looked after our dogs obviously we paid her extra for anything like this. She does about 4 hours a week for us now and I pay £20ph but I never have to tell her what to do as she just does whatever she thinks is needed I dread her deciding to retire as I doubt that I will ever be able to find anyone as good to replace her!

It's not comparable to having your boiler serviced or having your toilet fixed is it?

I voted YABU because of course you’re not confused. Don’t be daft.

Self employed though.
If you compared it to PAYE, factored in a provision equivalent to ers NI (which would pay for sickness and mat pay etc) by the time you worked in holiday pay and travel at 45p per mile, your cleaner won't be clearing much more than minimum wage take home pay.