To be confused as to why hiring a cleaner is seen as an indulgence?

[Gahr]

This is something that I see time and again on this site, and it is SO WEIRD. People seem to think that it is the height of luxury to have a housecleaner, and also seem to be strangely apologetic about it, offering disclaimers as to why they need one. Also, I've noticed that on threads when someone has a problem with their cleaning service, they will get several posts telling them to 'clean their own house'. Nobody would tell someone to 'service their own boiler' or 'fix their own toilet'! I don't understand it at all. I have a cleaner and I wouldn't be without her.

Why? Why should I pay someone poorly for doing a job well? That would be exploitation.

Yeah, you did

If you can afford one and want one then absolutely crack on. But lots of people can't afford them and see them as a luxury.

Comfortable and wealthy is all subjective. I feel we are comfortable but we couldn't afford a cleaner and we do service our own boiler/fix our own toilet.

I dont think anyone should have to justify their want for a cleaner or anything that makes their life easier.

Having the money to pay for someone to do something you could do yourself but just don’t want to, is obviously a luxury.
I don’t know why anyone would be defensive about that. We have a cleaner. I wouldn’t say it’s the “height of luxury” but it is a luxury.

Comparisons to fixing your own boiler are clearly ridiculous. Most people cannot do that themselves.

I agree op. No one criticises if people choose to spend money on travel or beauty or fashion. Having a cleaner helps my wellbeing so I spend on that rather than other things. My choice.

I live alone and could do the cleaning myself if I wanted to. But in reality I resented every second of it. I hated all those twee women trilling away on social media about "just an hour a day....!" and that sink shining method and all that jazz.

My cleaner comes when I am working so I leave my desk and find a nice clean house every Thursday. She just gets on and does what needs doing, finds extra things to clean if the main stuff is done in time, and will check the house if I am away.

It costs me £140 a month and I can afford it. I don't have a window cleaner (or nails or hair or Ocado etc) though, so maybe I am allowed this fantastic luxury.

I don't think it's wild that so many people can spot how disingenuous you're being, with regards to servicing your own boiler or doing your own plumbing, since cleaning your own home is not a job that requires a specialist.

However, I agree that the tiny amount of posts saying 'Why don't you clean your own home?' can be mildly annoying.

Some people just like to start threads about the fact they have a cleaner because they feel it's a luxury, and want others to know they can afford one.

Sad really, but these threads are fewer and further between than they were, say 10 years ago.

Infact this is the first one I've seen for ages.

Of course it’s a luxury in this climate. And that’s coming from someone who has one. I am extremely fortunate to be on Mat leave and affording a cleaner of which costs me £300 a month! Some people do not have that amount of spare cash

They absolutely do criticise spending on beauty and fashion - have you not seen the threads on here if anyone asks for advice on buying a handbag that costs more than £5?

Having read OP’s updates, I agree that having a cleaner isn’t something to feel guilty about.

She’s got to pay for cleaning products, insurance, tax, holiday pay, pension, drive to and from customers so when you factor all that in they’re really not taking home much per day!

I love having a cleaner. Know loads if people with them.also know a lot of people who could afford one and don't.....usually because they dont want someone in the house.

For me, it's more to do with paying someone else to clean up my dirt/shit/mess - it reminds me of growing up with 'servants', our cleaners, chauffeurs, gardeners and nannies and I would still feel uncomfortable employing the first - unreasonable? Possibly, but until I'm physically incapable...

Of course it's a luxury. Most people can't afford to not clean their own house.

I have no issue with cleaners, I even had one when I was SAHM. To say they are not a luxury is ridiculous though, I had to stop mine when the cost of living rocketed, along with regular facials and my personal trainer. None of those are essentials but my bills were.

To people who can’t afford it, yeah it’s a luxury

Having a cleaner or someone to mow your lawn or wash your windows is like having an accountant or going to a nail bar

You could do it yourself but you'd rather outsource it to someone who will do a better job, and spend your time on other things.

It is a luxury to afford any of these, but nothing to feel guilty about. I had one when we were better off, and wish I could afford it now!

In my life no one criticises if people spend on travel. It’s all ‘good for you!’ ‘Have a fab time!’ If anyone admits to a cleaner it’s looked at like they have money to burn. But surely everyone spends as they wishes. Judgy people will always judge. They’re probably jealous…!

The reason it is seen as an indulgence is not everyone can afford it and you can live without it. And you probably should acknowledge that if all your friends have cleaners you move in quite affluent circles. You probably don't think so, because affluent people never do, but you are - the majority of people don't have cleaners. That's not to say you should feel guilty about it but going round touting it as a practical necessity will get people's backs up.

My DS (PhD student) gets this for teaching undergrads, for whatever that’s worth

I think there are a couple of different meanings here - there’s luxury/indulgence in the sense of ‘having disposable income to allocate to this not-life-critical thing’. Obviously paying a cleaner is a luxury in that sense, in that lots of people (including me) don’t have that disposable income.

But there is definitely also a misogynist kneejerk ‘self-indulgent madam’ thing that happens when women have cleaners and DEFINITELY never happens when, say, a young single man has a cleaner.

Years ago I had a cleaner. She was brilliant - after two hours, my house looked and smelled like a show home. To do a cleaning job that well requires a skill that I simply do not have - my own efforts are okay but never achieve that professional just clean sparkly finish.

Sadly, we moved and it's too far for her to come now. I don't get the lack of respect for a good cleaner - would think £18 ph is the minimum acceptable pay for someone who is s/employed.

I’m a single parent to a small child. .

I work a main job with a two hour daily commute. I get up at 5.15am. I have a side hustle that takes 20hrs per week for nine months of the year.

I have a cleaner who comes once a month for £50. I’ll be fucked if that’s something to be ashamed of.

I don’t drink alcohol and nobody would bat an eyelid if a “poor” person spent £12.50 per week on wine and tell them it was a luxury, though I might think so because I don’t.

This 100%.

This 100%.

I used to be a bit sniffy at the whole concept of having a cleaner. People like me didn't have cleaners I thought. (In fact I was a cleaner throughout most of my university years - 8 years or so). But I love having one and as our cleaner has been with us for 30 years it will be the very very last thing I would give up. She costs £25 a week and we recently have had finance strains so I have tweaked our household finances in other areas (alcohol mainly as well as more luxury items of food) as I really don't feel comfortable giving up this 'luxury' when she relies on the income I provide and others like me for her family.

Because it’s seen as women’s work, and women’s work should be unpaid, and done invisibly and uncomplainingly.

“Men’s work” of course it’s fine to call a paid professional to do.

I’m a single parent in a demanding, full-time job. I don’t have time to clean my house as well, unless I want to make myself really ill through lack of rest, so for me it’s a necessity.

Because people can’t fix their own car but they can clean their own house……cleaning is something you get someone else to do for you if you can afford it. Many can’t so do it themselves.

i think you’re being purposely obtuse