To be confused as to why hiring a cleaner is seen as an indulgence?

[Gahr]

This is something that I see time and again on this site, and it is SO WEIRD. People seem to think that it is the height of luxury to have a housecleaner, and also seem to be strangely apologetic about it, offering disclaimers as to why they need one. Also, I've noticed that on threads when someone has a problem with their cleaning service, they will get several posts telling them to 'clean their own house'. Nobody would tell someone to 'service their own boiler' or 'fix their own toilet'! I don't understand it at all. I have a cleaner and I wouldn't be without her.

Fair enough. I was unaware.

I think the PP delving into the definition of luxury have a point: if a luxury is something that some/lots of people can’t afford then clearly having a cleaner IS a luxury. Sadly, so are many things: not worrying about the cost of the big supermarket shop, spontaneously treating your kiddo to a snack in a cafe or toy, Christmas presents (lots of families can’t afford them), decent dentistry etc. Having a cleaner is obviously more of a luxury than those things.

But more broadly, if luxury means “excessive” or OTT then for a lot of people it’s not a luxury. It’s not (for those people) like popping champagne or going for a three course meal out, it’s an important part of their ordinary lives.

I do think having a cleaner is a privilege (although I reckon I would rather skip our summer holiday than give up having our cleaner!)

That said, this thread definitely demonstrates that there are people who can afford to have a cleaner but choose not to (obviously a completely valid choice!) and who also think it’s a bit lazy - or even a moral failing - to employ one. And some of that is that a good woman is also good at keeping house. So OP has a good point about that.

But these things aren't weekly. My window cleaner is once every 8 weeks and charges the same as a cleaner's one hour rate. Getting my car cleaned locally is about £10 once every so often. It's not comparable.

I read this and surely a wind up post!

We have a high middle income (very high for our area with DH’s salary) and always stick to a budget shopping, have a nice holiday every year (which is absolutely a luxury lots of our friends don’t have) and consider a cleaner a luxury.

People must live in a complete bubble to not think holidays are a luxury! I suggest they go out and meet someone outside of their tiny little circle.

Because many of us can't afford it so it's a luxury? Because I'm expected to do all the same things in my day and week as people who can afford to hire labour for some of the tasks I have to do on top of my job, household chores, and caring responsibilities.

I grew up in a home where my mum did all the housework, cooking, gardening, decorating so it's just my norm. It blew my mind when a mate was ordering curtains from a department store because my mum always sewed ours and I've ended up sewing mine.

I never knew so many people had cleaners until lockdown and the social media posts from people who were having to do their own for the first time in ages with woe is me posts.

We're not the same. I don't begrudge other people paying for cleaners but some recognition of the advantage it brings would be appreciated. It also makes me feel less shit when I know.

Servicing your boiler and fixing your toilet are very different to cleaning. One requires you to be gas safe and the other a certain level of plumbing knowledge. That said, my husband and I have both fixed our toilet with some help from a youtube video and the screwfix down the road. Because we're frugal.

Not at all. I live in a three bedroom house. My DDs mostly take care of their own rooms / they’re teenagers so I give theirs a deeper clean once a month or so. In my lounge as an example, I have bookshelves, a desk, upholstered furniture, TV unit, floors, rug, fireplace, art, windows, the usual woodwork - maybe I’m a slowy or I’m not in a rush but that takes me about an hour to clean properly 🤷🏼‍♀️ the same with all the bits in the bathroom, bedroom, hallway, stairs, landing, kitchen. My cleaners used to come in and supposedly clean the entire house in one session … I cannot face that idea. I’d just much rather do a bit every day and know that the whole house is pretty much cleaned every week …

I see getting a window cleaner or paying for a car wash as luxury as much as having a cleaner in ?

is there some kind of internalised thing going on where you think people are particularly despising those with cleaners? Where people read into what others say more than they say ?

the question was “it is a luxury” which someone do suggest possibly depends what you mean by luxury

At my job I'm on zero hours, I get on average £150 a month and have to claim Universal Credit to live. Having a cleaner is definitely a luxury.

We have a cleaner and I’m well aware it’s a luxury. I’m also well aware that the COL has hit people in ways that it hasn’t hit us, so we’re incredibly lucky.

One specific circle of my friends all have cleaners but other than to them I don’t mention it.

However, what I don’t understand is why some people make rude comments when they find out you have one. If you wouldn’t have one then that’s absolutely fine, but there’s no need to be so rude and aggressive about it.

I think it’s because cleaning is seen as the woman’s job by default but I can afford a cleaner, I can’t clean to the standard of the cleaner and also my time is more valuable than the £40 I pay the cleaner a week. Before we had a cleaner I felt like I was spending hours cleaning to only get a sub par result. I also like the fact I’m contributing towards someone having a job.

I completely agree! This thread is batshit. We are fairly well off too in that we don’t worry about spending money particularly, but I still consider my yearly holiday, being able to afford a window cleaner, get the car cleaned, Netflix / Spotify / Amazon subscriptions, charity donations, hypothetical cleaner (we don’t currently have one because we moved and I can’t justify that extra cost, but we have in the past) a luxury! If one of us was to lose our job, then those are the first spends that would be cut to make sure we had enough for necessities like mortgage, food and heat!
Some people on here are obviously living in their middle class bubble and cannot see how privileged they are!

Exactly! We are in very secure jobs (very little chance of losing them ever) but we never know what is around the corner with health. If we had to survive on alot less money, we know what things are luxuries and what we would need to survive. I can’t imagine being so blinkered to the real world to think you couldn’t survive without a cleaner! You would divide jobs between you at the weekend and crack on with it - millions do week in, week out.

Why not? I did house cleaning about 20 years ago and had 5 clients. 3 of them were elderly, one young family both parents working full time and my daughter, again both parents working and 2 young children. She asked me and I cleaned for her and she paid me. I can't see the problem.

I hired a cleaner. Working full time, have one DD with disability, one without but needing TLC to balance the attention between them, beginnings of RA, a husband who is the epitome of housework weaponised incompetence (whole other thread) and quite a situation with my elderly parents. In my case it was cheaper than divorce, burnout or both. I'm 100% unapologetic about it, after all there's only 24 hours in a day and I consider it a luxury if I cobble together 6 hours of sleep.

I think having a cleaner is absolutely a luxury. As is paying someone to wash your car, wash your windows, or fix your toilet!

These are all basic jobs that you can do yourself. It is absolutely up to you how you spend your money, but for me, paying someone to do those jobs seems like a waste of money. I’d rather save that money and buy something or go somewhere or build my savings with it.

@AccidentalPrawnYouFool I agree. Holidays are wonderful but they are not essential, and of course they are a luxury. If you have a reasonable disposable income, it’s a question of how you prioritise your spending. We were fortunate to be able to go on several amazing holidays in our late 20s and early 30s, but then we had our daughter and wanted to give her what we felt was the best possible start, and I was a stay at home mother for several years. We had only just moved house at the time and money was very tight for many years, but it was our decision for me to stay home with her, and holidays were a luxury that were far outside what we could afford. Finances are easier now, my husband is retired, and I’m semi retired, but I still see holidays as a luxury and not a necessity

There is nothing wrong with having a cleaner. If you can afford it, and benefit from it, then do it! That being said, it is something many cant afford. It's not a necessity. Saying it's not a luxury is completely out of touch.

I don't see having a cleaner as a luxury, it's a necessity for us. My Husband & I work full time & l'm also a carer for my elderly relative. I do their cleaning for them as they don't want a stranger in their home. Having a cleaner frees up time for us to have family time with my adult kids & Grandkids, something I found hard to fit in at weekends when I was spending a full day cleaning then had grocery shopping to do & other errands to run. So for us to have a nice life its necessary for us to have a cleaner. Also no one thinks it a luxury to have their window cleaner or wheely bin cleaner or go to the car wash so why is it seen a luxury having your house cleaned?

Most people would just do it free (you know, helping out family and all that), but if you can make a quick buck from your kids, why not?

I guess I look at people flying business or first class and staying in the top 5 star hotels as real luxury. I'm not in all inclusive expensive hotels, which would feel luxurious.

People have said all those things are luxuries. Because they meet the definition of not essential for life.

Also, there's not that many people who actually offer wheelie bin cleaning. No services in my area, none where my friends scattered around the country are. The only people I've every known have this are my parents and now you've said it.

😜 I agree - I’ve had a flyer through the door for bin cleaning and can’t think of anything more pointless.

It is simple misogyny.

Cleaning is seen as womens work and those that don't do it are marked as lazy, no matter how busy their lives are.

The same moralistic judgement isn't applied to jobs men used to do in the home.

Prevailing view seems to be that anything which is not a basic essential for survival is a luxury. So having a cleaner would fall within that.

I think the point in OP’s question is more on the “indulgence” side i.e. do you think some people do look down on others for having a cleaner?

I personally feel a bit inadequate about having a cleaner twice a week (as if a better woman would find cleaning enjoyable/worthwhile), though I don’t think I SHOULD feel that way!

I just don’t like doing lots of housework on my evenings and weekends. And it’s not about looking down on cleaning work at all: I’m sure most/all people wouldn’t particularly enjoy spending hours doing my office job on their evenings or weekends either! (My job often leaks into my evenings and weekends and I myself don’t love that…)

For the final time - YANBU to have a cleaner.

YABU to be 'confused' as to why people consider it a luxury.