Am I unreasonable for being offended

[Lola9212]

I am pregnant with my third baby and already have two kind and curious boys. We recently found out I am having a third boy and we are truly excited and delighted. I hadn’t told anyone the gender and asked for final guesses through sharing a black and white photo and scan to my close family. My mother sent me this message:

‘Been out with the girls for dinner, pretty hard to guess from this unisex outfit in black and white. Would love it to be a girl as having daughters I’ve found (most of the time 😂) pretty special but you have beautiful babies and as long as healthy we will be grateful and no matter what will be well loved. 🥰 But would love to know….’

This message hit me a bit for a few reasons. I have a brother (so found it mildly offensive to him), I have two beautiful boys already who are the light of life and my third baby boy on the way. I feel like she should have kept her preferences to herself and I feel defensive of all the boys in my life. Especially because she would have known there was at least 50 percent chance I’m having another boy and it almost feels like she took the moment away by making it clear that in her view a boy is less special. Am I overreacting? She knows we’re having a boy now (we did the reveal in a group chat) and I haven’t acknowledged her message. Any suggestions on how to take this forward?

She sounds lovely, your mother.

I was coming to say this.

And it's sex, not gender.

I remember when me and DH called round and told MIL we expecting our first baby she said 'And are you happy about it?'

Well yeah, look at our faces..devastated 🙄

Poor bloody woman! That is the sweetest, most diplomatic message ever and yet you’ve still managed to take offence.

A mother’s place is in the wrong.

Yabvu you literally asked for people to play the dumb game. Her message was nice. Don't asked people to get involved if you're one of the professionally offended.

I don't think it's a bad message.

But Op was only asking for guesses!

I feel the message was lovely. I wouldn’t have taken offence for my brother if my mother had sent it to me.

For what it’s worth - I have six children and have never asked anyone for guesses. I have 5 of one sex and 1 of the other (no we didn’t keep trying for that 1, was in the middle.) some people can be rude and weird around gender/gender stereotypes etc but I really don’t see that in your mother’s comments. Don’t look for drama when there isn’t any, just be grateful you have a loving Mum who clearly loves her grandchildren.

You already knew that you were having a third boy when you messaged your mum. If you hadn't, you would probably had agreed with her.

I have children of both sexes, and yes, having a girl is special. So is having a boy. They are just different experiences and all children are loved exactly the same.

I think it’s a perfectly nice message.

Blame your hormones for being over sensitive.

I think she just meant "girls are lovely and I'd like you to experience that". If your nro had two girls she'd likely say the same about boys

Don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answers to.

I think you’re projecting!

That's a lovely message, she loves you!

Am I being dim? You knew you’re having a third boy - congratulations, how lovely - you asked your mum to guess. She guessed wrong and she’s a bitch. I don’t understand

She is saying
If you have two boys and a girl that is perfect
If you have 3 boys that is perfect
If you have 3 girls that is perfect
Please chill, she is wishing for you to have a healthy happy child.

I think your mum was trying to say how much she loves having you as a daughter! It’s a lovely message, kind and warm and full of love.

Oh wow - she wrote the most amazing message and you are upset. yes - you are being unreasonable.

You brought on the drama - why bother if you’re so easily offended? Just be open with people and enjoy your third baby.

Im another one who read the message as being a comment on her relationship with you, i.e it’s wonderful being your mother.
She was trying to be nice op, don’t get offended with her and look for insults when none are intended.

Omg.
she used this as an opportunity to say how wonderful it is being a mother to a girl. You.

And you’ve chosen to be offended.
I can’t .
🤦‍♀️

YANBU
I think she was tactless.

YABU. I think that was a lovely message.

YABU and overreacting. Why invite guesses at all? Surely no one cares what sex a baby is other than the parents?

I think you are projecting your own disappointment onto her.

Exactly this!